I’m heading back to Glasgow today, then on to home from there. Not directly, there will be a couple of boozy days before I move again.
This is likely to limit my internet access for a few days, possibly leaving me in internet limbo, but what the hell – most people are on holiday too! I have one of the Vodafone mobile internet thingies but it’s never been very good. Reception where I’m going is lousy.
So, it’ll be silence from me unless I find a link somewhere (you never know) but by midweek I’ll be back to normal, with a proper keyboard, a screen that doesn’t reflect like a mirror and a proper mouse rather than this dreadful trackpad thing.
In the meantime, just to keep everyone’s blood pressure up, salt is now responsible for stomach cancer.
It’s almost as if they’re following an established template from somewhere else, isn’t it?
LI, further to the recent sky headlinesmokers-cold-turkey-attempts-sabotaged, could giving up salt cold turkey be bad for you? Does Pharma have a patch for it?
No, there is no Big Pharma patch for it yet. But I am currently busy soaking self-stick bandaids in salt water then drying them out and hope to be making money soon by selling them on eBay as Ward Off Evil Salt Patches. Look for them soon.
Personally, I rather like a bit of salt on my cold turkey. It’s a bit bland otherwise…
I have seen, this week, people telling those over 80 not to put salt on their food. That is euthanasia. State-sanctioned!
I am concerned about the effects of second hand salt. They chuck it around on the roads in winter, it’s even stored in the house in containers with an open hole at the top, it’s impossible to escape from it. We are all going to die!
It’s third-hand salt you’ve got to beware of. You can’t even see it, but it’s there. Just bend down and feel the road. Feel a little bit sticky? That’s third-hand salt you can feel – quick, go and wash your hands now, or else a heart-attack is imminent.
So never let your cheeldren walk anywhere near a road, else they may succumb to third-hand salt syndrome, for which there is no known cure. Salt. It’s the only thing which when used as intended kills the user. Dead.
It should be banned.
Close, but you forgot to tell them that they have to wash their hands in raw bleach. If the skin starts to come off, they were too late
Next they’ll identify passive-salt-intake.
Presumably that includes going to the beach and breathing in the “lovely sea air”, which we were told as kids was breathing in the “Ozone” which now gets everyone’s knickers in a twist if someone sets a laser printer off in the next village.
Just waiting for the headline: DON”T GO TO THE BEACH – YOUR CHEELDRENS WILL GET CANCER!!!
Oooo, so if we tell them that smokers burn off the ozone and the smoke blocks the UV, their heads might explode? That has to be worth a try!
One before that, passive pop. We will soon hear about ‘Fanta sold for less than the price of water’ and ‘fizz addiction’.