Still gradually working my way back into real life. Tomorrow I start work at midday. Midday? Only mad dogs and Englishmen are awake that early. Nobody mentioned that this job-getting business involved sleeping at night and being awake when the clouds turn light grey.
But, needs must. That bottle of Penderyn won’t buy itself, no matter how much I sweet-talk it.
Best get it soon too. I could buy it on the credit card now that I know I’ll have the means to pay it back but… not yet. It turns out the guy who used to have my job was fired for drinking. Not just a little bit, like me, but a lot. A very big lot. Very, very big. How much booze are we talking? In the words of Mr. Don and Mr. George, plenty much booze. At work too. So it would not be a good idea to turn up smelling of whisky right now. Smoky-Drinky is Friday this week so I’ll consider it then. I still don’t like using that credit card, it has teeth, but I’ll make the decision later in the week.
I have therefore restricted myself to a half-bottle of brandy tonight. Just a snifter.
Even if you’re the sort of person who likes a wee sherry at teatime or a small shot at bedtime, you are now in the same classification as me and as my predecessor, Captain Cirrhosis. Why? For the Cheeldren, of course.
A survey by the charity 4Children highlights a ‘silent epidemic’ with a worrying six out of 10 parents claiming their drug or alcohol use had no effect on family life.
This ‘charity’ has absolutely no interest in distinguishing between one half-shandy per night and three bottles of vodka per night.
Seven percent ‘admitted’ drinking every day. I drink every day. I don’t have children to look after but if I did, I’d still drink every day… but much less. It does not matter to the Righteous. You drink one pointlessly small glass of sherry, I drink half a bottle of brandy. We are the same in their eyes, we drink every day.
I have sherry glasses. I should get around to dusting them. But then, there’s no rush because I have no sherry.
All those real ale chaps at CAMRA no doubt drink most, if not every day. Some get plastered, I’ve seen them. Some savour the ale and just have one or two, but they do it every day. You guys are fucked. And sod you, you asked for it. If you want to know how to set up your own places, ask someone else. You banned us smokers and were happy to see the back of us so don’t ask us now for our experience and how we got around your filthy ban.
Mark Bennett, Director of policy at 4Children said the finding back up the belief that many British parents view drinking alcohol ‘as normal as drinking tea”.
I rarely drink tea so I don’t equate the normality of the two at all.
He told the Independent on Sunday: ‘Part of the problem is people don’t realise that they are causing problems by drinking to excess habitually.
Define ‘drinking to excess’. Benny. He doesn’t because in his mind, ‘excess’ is the same as ‘at all’.
‘It could first be one glass, which leads to another. If parents have had a bottle of wine or more, their ability to react to their child, especially a small child, will be impaired.’
Well pour the whole bottle into one big glass and then you’ve only had one. Simple.
Why does one drink automatically lead to another? For me it often does but I am not typical and I have no dependents to look after. If I am flaked out, there is no crying child being ignored and no shitty nappies breeding germs. For those with such responsibilities then tanking down the booze would be a bad idea but it’s their children, their future.
Not my business. Three words there, that have never entered a Righteous head in that combination.
And never will.