I’ve got good news.

1) Teacher’s whisky is £11 in Morrison’s. 28 units. Oh dear, Puritans. Oh dear indeed. Clan McGregor is £11 and some pennies. I’ll get some tomorrow. Or maybe I’ll visit Lidl for Ben Bracken and some ‘My Lidl Pony’ burgers. I’m not going to Smoky-Drinky in this weather. That cracked rib has only just stopped hurting.

2) The heating is fixed thanks to Friendly Local Cash-accepting Plumber. Replacing the fan did the trick. So I still don’t have a condensing boiler and the fan heaters can go back into storage.

3) I am not working tomorrow. Boss has hurt her back. I consider it rude and most improper to ask how a young and attractive woman came to have hurt her back. Instead I rely on my filthy imagination to fill in the details. It’s probably much more interesting than reality anyway. So I am working Sunday afternoon instead. Doesn’t matter, I have whisky for tonight and the prospect of saving it for tomorrow night was always a slim one. Now I don’t have to exercise self-control. Excellent. I could never understand those who want to control others. I’m not even interested in controlling me.

4) Poundland have Goblin tinned stewed steak and it’s exactly as I remember it. Looks like dog food, smells like dog food, heat it up and it magically  turns into chunks in gravy and it’s as salty as in the old days. Lovely. The Health Nazis would swoon at the sight of it and die if they tasted it. Must get more before it’s banned.

5) That gum you like is going to come back in style.

6) Signed copy of ‘Samuel’s Girl’ to the first one who tells me where no. 5 comes from. Might not be in the post for a week, mind. I’m still on double shifts so far.

And now, lathes and genitalworms, it is time for me to take leave of this world for a short time and enter the sanity of whisky oblivion accompanied by a film of horribleness called, this evening, ‘night watch’.

It’s in Russian. I might not bother with the dubbed version because it’s not likely to matter much anyway.

I’ll try to bring a bit of sanity back with me this time, but it’s a drop in the ocean these days.

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32 thoughts on “I’ve got good news.

  1. Players no.6, we could by them as singles with a match. Just kept us going on the walk to school, ahh the good old days, whatever happened to them.

    Could be that non-sense with Patrick McGooan ‘The Prisoner’ Iam Not a number,but I doubt it.

  2. Is 5 something to do with an american company on the US West Coast who are starting to market marijuana chewing gum under the medical marijuana scheme. Thought not (but they apparently are doing just that).

    • They already have cannabis gum? When Big Pharma get wind of this, the little company is toast and then there’ll be patches too.

      Which won’t work, of course.

  3. Oh Bollox, read it wrong. Sure it said no.6 the first time I saw it. Have you changed it LI since I first read it? Probably not, must be the beer goggles I’m wearing.

  4. Nightwatch, it’s actually a half decent film. Stick to the Russian with subtitles. I always thought “Das Boot” was so much better in German with the subtitles, Dubbing into English loses so much, but what pisses me off with subtitles is if you speak a bit of the lingo the subtitle doesn’t necessarily say what’s actually been said.

    • XX “Das Boot” was so much better in German with the subtitles, Dubbing into English loses so much, XX

      It is not even a direct translation. A lot of what is said in German is censored.

      Obvuiously too harsh for delicate English eyes.

      BUT(!!!)) The WORST translation of a film EVER, is the “Rocky horror picture show” into German!! (Well, sub titled, but…)

      COMPLETE, and UTTER BOLLOX!!!

      • “Dubbing into English loses so much,…”
        See also: The original Mad Max.

        “It is not even a direct translation. A lot of what is said in German is censored.”
        Listen to the version of Mack the Knife sung by Sinatra and other such popular crooners of his day.

        Then listen to the version Nick Cave recorded for the September Songs album…

          • Good question,

            Apparently
            “Mack the Knife” or “The Ballad of Mack the Knife”, originally “Die Moritat von Mackie Messer”, is a song composed by Kurt Weill with lyrics by Bertolt Brecht for their music drama Die Dreigroschenoper, or, as it is known in English, The Threepenny Opera. It premiered in Berlin in 1928 at the Theater am Schiffbauerdamm.

            “Blitzstein’s translation provides the basis for most of the popular versions we know today, including those by Louis Armstrong (1956) and Bobby Darin (1959—Darin’s lyrics differ slightly), and most subsequent swing versions.”
            http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mack_the_Knife

            • Bobby Darin – blimey, that takes me back. My mother had a bit of a thing for him. Also Lonnie Donegan, which is probably the point at which I decided she was most likely bonkers. Subsequent events have done nothing to shake my childhood conclusion. ‘My mother is bonkers’ is a firmer scientific theory than anything Einstein came up with. Nobody who has met her has ever questioned it.

          • Nick Cave’s version might have a variation or two, but it’s much closer, especially in spirit – unsurprising since the September Songs album is all Weil covers.

            Translation of the original German lyrics:

            See the shark has teeth like razors
            All can read his open face
            And Macheath has got a knife, but
            Not in such an obvious place

            On a beautiful blue Sunday,
            See a corpse stretched on the Strand
            See a man dodge around the corner…
            Mackie’s friend’s will understand.

            And Schul Meier who is missing
            Like so many wealthy men:
            Mack the knife aquired his cashbox
            God alone knows how or when

            Jenny Tyler turned up lately
            With a knife stuck in her breast
            While Macheath walked the embankment,
            Nonchalantly unimpressed

            Where is Alfred Gleet the cabman?
            Who can get that story clear?
            All the world may know the answer,
            but Macheath has no idea

            And the ghastly fire in Soho,
            Seven children at a go—
            In the crowd stands Mack the knife, but
            He’s not asked and doesn’t know

            And the child bride in her nightgown,
            Whose assailant’s still at large
            Violated in her slumber—
            Mackie how much did you charge?

    • Das Boot is infinitely better without subtitles. There are many brilliant German actors and some subtitles are an insult to performances from the likes of Jürgen Prochnow, Diane Krüger and Christoph Waltz, whenever these stars masterfully portrayed German characters.

        • It was Agent Cooper’s dream, where he first meets the dwarf in the red room. About 3.5 minutes in –

          I think it was the second meeting where the dwarf identifies himself as ‘the arm’. Lynch’s films are more fun than the Times crossword ;)

  5. Personally, I like the Sean Connery approach. Russian submarine captain? Bollox. Play it in a Scottish accent! Only an actor of his calibre could get away with that one.

    I wish he lived in Smalltown. Everyone here thinks they are a celebrity so it would be nice to have a real one.

  6. Bugger! Alcantara beat me to it.
    How about… You know how Google don’t ya Sam? Just purse your Mouse and click. Eh Alcantara? :-)

    • It’s probably okay. Nothing will have grown in it because of the alcohol content and the cold. I bet it sells for more than my house is worth though.

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