Several commenters have wondered if I was in any way responsible for the terror alert caused by a bit of steam. Well, no, because I hadn’t thought of it.
It was certainly a laugh though, or maybe a cry if you think too hard about what it really means.
Someone on a coach was having a sly puff on an Electrofag and… well, what happened next is straight out of a Monty Python episode.
The Mail headline claims that the terror alert was sparked by someone with an Electrofag. It wasn’t. It was sparked by some paranoid idiots and an overzealous police force and by the general stupidity that is prevalent among the UK population today. As the Mail admits:
The passenger had been inhaling the e-cigarette device, which emits water vapour and is legal to smoke on board a vehicle, but covered it with a bag so those around were not able to see what he was doing.
Why did he feel the need to hide? Because this country is full of half-witted drones who genuinely believe they will die if someone has a device that produces a little bit of steam. They believe they will die of they see a pack of cigarettes so the sight of someone with something that looks a little bit like smoking is sure to cause an instant brain haemorrhage (Oh, if only). They genuinely believe it. How they cope with hot showers and ironing is anyone’s guess, but maybe they don’t. Maybe we will soon be able to spot those who think themselves normal and superior by the creases and the stench. Maybe that’s why antismokers are so afraid to wash themselves and their clothes. The terrible steam might get them.
So a little bit of steam produced by someone who has been consistently denormalised by ASH and by every major political party resulted in a massive police operation. The police are not blameless. The situation could have been assessed in an instant if their officers hadn’t been lobotomised by modern training. If they were still in the old mould of ‘Hello, what’s going on here then?’ the whole matter would have been sorted out in seconds.
However, the true blame here lies not with the police and not with the Electrosmoker. Not even with the bubble-wrapped weaklings who now cower in terror at anything that is not perfectly in line with the world they want to see.
It lies with the Dreadful Arnott and her vicious drones. It lies with Headman and the Boy Blunder, our current idiots-in-charge. It lies with the Moribund Gang of wasters-in-waiting and with Oily Al and his kilt-flapping wind-production crew. They created this between them. Oh, and whoever is currently running that Welsh pseudoparliament that appears to think it’s a Politburo.
They created a world where people are scared to do something legal in case someone else doesn’t like it and they are jailed for the crime of not pandering to the wishes of the feeble-minded. They created a police force that thinks every report requires a full SWAT-team response and nobody asks any questions until the entire area is locked down and everyone is on the floor with their wrists held together with cable ties.
Yes, that pain in the arse aptly named the Cameroid can blame the last Labour government all he wants. He is in charge now and it is not only still happening, it is getting worse. This government is about as Conservative as Stalin.
Cameroid can blame Foggy Clegg, but he rolls over and waits for his tummy to be tickled whenever the Laughable Dumbocrats shout ‘Play dead’. Cameroid might have more than the average forehead but he makes up for it with an utter lack of guts.
As for the official responses…
John Lamb, spokesman for the Birmingham Chamber of Commerce, said the cost of the scare would ‘easily run into hundreds of thousands of pounds’.
‘For such a ridiculous thing to cause so much disruption is unforgivable for individuals and businesses but we live in times when we have to expect these sorts of things.’
Why do we live in such times, Mr. To-the-slaughter? Because cretins in charge have created these times. This is not natural. It is not normal. It is very, very wrong and no, we should neither expect nor accept it. Yet you will hear the Dreadful Arnott spouting about the dangers of steam and you will hear the Government stating that the sight of a cigarette packet causes cancer and you will see the BMJ telling you that someone smoking five streets away is equivalent to having a bonfire of tobacco in your bathroom and you will nod sagely and agree with it and then you will complain when your bus is taken out by a Cruise missile because someone opened a can of Coke and the children in passing cars might have seen it.
THAT is what this story is about. Not about the stupidity of the police, nor even of the Government, although there seems no bottom limit to the idiocy MPs can reach. Not even about the mindless spite of ASH and its drones.
It is about the stupidity of the general population.
And yet it is so easy to fix, if only the morons could be made to see. No need for any kind of riot or rebellion.
All they have to do is stop voting for it.
Update: Had a quick prowl among the morons on the Daily Mail article and found an absolute gem:
Is this not therefore a good reason to ban these things, like cigarettes, in public places being as the real thing is banned in public places……People are banned from walking around the streets carrying guns and I think a dim view would be taken of anyone walking around carrying a replica.
– Ted, Teddington, 5/7/2012 19:33
Yes, an Electrofag in a public place is the same as waving around a replica Uzi now. I think Ted from Teddington and his ilk should be banned from public places. It would make life so much more pleasant for so many people.
Update again – damn, I was so angry I forgot to add categories. This is likely to be a frequent problem.