Mirth time.

Long ago, all the smoky blogs pointed out that if people can be terrified of one smell (smoke) then they can be induced to be terrified of any smell. We suggested there might be bans on perfume and air fresheners, incense and candles, and that all these things and more would soon cause all the same diseases that were blamed on smoking.

Well, now that smoking is banned in all public places and those diseases continue to rise, guess what?

The comments are eye-wateringly hilarious, but possibly only really funny to a smoker. Especially the ones who now blame their asthma on perfumes, because there are no smokers around to blame it on any more. Find the real cause and cure it? Nah, just blame a convenient smell. The Righteous will never allow asthma to be properly investigated and cured. It’s far too useful in their fight against pretty much everything.

Nobody seems to have noticed the traffic fumes yet. They are more scared of some plug-in stink bomb thing than of the trucks roaring past them in the street. Some won’t go into their friends’ houses if they have air fresheners.

But (hahaha) there is no (hooha) slippery slope (fnarr). The tobacco terror will never be extended into other areas. People refusing to visit friends and family or calling for a public-place ban because they don’t like the smell, well, that has no parallel at all with the antismoking brainwashing.

Even the Joker can’t laugh loud enough at this one.

Coming soon: the scent of cooking burgers will make you fat, the merest whiff of bread will give you wheat allergy and looking at a cow will make you lactose intolerant.

Too bizarre? Wait and see. Only a few years ago, the idea that scents other than tobacco could cause real illness was roundly scoffed at, and here it is. Fully accepted into the hive mind and the drones are dutifully getting sick to order.

I think I might give them some new ideas. Perhaps something along the lines of ‘if you’re worried about radiation from your screen, open the window and the breeze will blow it away’.

Time for some new drone fun.


27 thoughts on “Mirth time.

  1. I just posted the following up there. It’ll be interesting to see if it gets through moderation….


    The funniest part of all this is its relation to smoking — something not even MENTIONED in the article!

    “more than 30 per cent of the public report adverse health effects from being exposed to scents in ordinary life.”

    Really? Hmm… how might one protect oneself from developing this horrendous problem? I’ll bet a study would show that the real figures are about 40% of nonsmokers and less than 10% of smokers are affected! I’ll bet you won’t find any grant money going into THAT though! Big Tobacco’s too afraid of lawsuits and the Antismokers control the rest of the funds out there!

    Meanwhile, why has the problem increased? Partly from more use of scents, but also partly because places that ban smoking immediately cut back on healthy ventilation to save money! No one notices, because there’s no smoke in the air! Everybody just gets a bit more poisoned from the invisible scents and germs being shared!


  2. I have some bad news for the smellaphobics, Life Smells, yep all aspects of it. Just go to the maternity hospital’s nursery, look as all the beautiful babies then take the peg off your nose, there is another end to every beautiful baby and boy can they produce some pungent whiffs. Go to the farm where your food is produced and take the peg off your nose more whiffs. All the pretty little pink pigs and baby lambs smell. Cows of course cause global warming so as well as being smelly OMG! Something else to worry about. ALL human life smells from time to time but of course the smellaphobics and tobacco control wouldn’t know that as they are not human.


    • Most of my research has been agricultural and some of it still is. I’m an intestinal microbiologist so I’ve spent most of my career up to my elbows in shit. People being scared of stinky stuff is great news for me, hopefully it’ll send all that work my way.


  3. I’m a non-smoker and asthmatic. My dad (now > 80 years old) was a heavy-ish smoker and anything he did, I’d be sure to do the opposite, hence not being interested in smoking. I am perfectly happy for people to smoke, even when I’m in close proximity. I wouldn’t choose to shut myself into a room with a number of smokers all with lit-up fags, but I certainly don’t see why smokers and non-smokers should be denied the right to do this if they wished. Likewise, I don’t see why publicans can’t choose what they want to allow or not allow on their premises, and I can choose whether or not I want to go there.
    Room “freshners” and candles do start off my wheezes, so I avoid these out of choice and resort to the inhaler if I can’t. Tomatoes and basil can also trigger the wheezes in me – so am I entitled to call for a ban on Italian food?


    • I don’t like room fresheners, they mask things that would otherwise make you open an window and get the room air changed. Modern houses are so sealed that the air inside goes stale.

      No, you can’t ban Italian food. Otherwise my whole family will come round and we’ll flick our chins at you.


  4. I cannot read the comments over at the DM, they’re simply too incredulous…. and who knew they allowed internet access at Bedlam Hospital for the Feeble Minded?

    Here’s just one such example: ” I worked beside a colleague who doused herself with perfume. There was nothing we could do because, as the law stands, its perfectly legal for any person to spray an entire bottle of Eau de Celebrity” As the law stands? WTF!

    God forbid any of these fools walk past a fish market, or indeed catch a whiff of the bracing sea air. Ban the Atlantic, it shouldn’t be allowed.


  5. You gotta love it!
    “Protester dies after inhaling fumes from burning American flag”

    For the drones:
    Your chances of not dying from a disease caused by smoking are no better than those of a 25 cigs/day smoker.
    (Data from Doll’s 2004 report on doctors’ mortality)


  6. ‘if you’re worried about radiation from your screen, open the window and the breeze will blow it away’

    Too late – I was at a meeting a few years back trying to stop the council putting up a TETRA mast near the local primary school. Burned into my cortex from that meeting is this statement (on the effects of TETRA waves on young growing brains) from the councillor charged with making the decision: “Wouldn’t it depend on the direction the wind was blowing?”. Even John Swinney’s jaw bounced off the table at that one!


  7. As a pre-smoking youngling I suffered from asthma, the medical antidote was called Phranol (Franol?) tabs on prescription; I had to wait outside Timothy Whites while my prescription was prepared because, when vulnerable, the stink of perfumes and particularly Talcum Powder (ie particulate) set my wheezing off big time.


    • There is a large Boots the Chemist that I will only enter from one direction. I have no breathing problems but the stench of the perfume counter is horrible. Ban it? No, I just use the doors at the other end of the shop. If they close those doors I’ll go to another shop.


First comments are moderated to keep the spambots out. Once your first comment is approved, you're in.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.