… I forget…

Apparently smoking ‘ages your lungs’ (news to me, I thought age did that) and makes you forget things, so maybe it does age your lungs and I just forgot.

Ah, think what I could have been if I didn’t smoke. I could have been a Published Writer, or a Doctor of Philosophy.

Oh wait, I just remembered. I’m already both of those things and I did both while smoking and one of them while almost continually drunk. Silly me. (It’s a Welsh thing. We write better when plastered. Ask Dylan Thomas – oh, you can’t, he died after only nineteen whiskies. Children’s portions. Although he did it almost every day so…)

But what about Einstein or Churchill? What could they have achieved if they hadn’t addled their minds with smoke? One of them could have revolutionised physics, the other could have won a World War. What a shame they were smokers and therefore left physics in the Dark Ages and the UK under the jackboot of the Nazis. If Barry O’Blimey had never smoked, why, he could have been President by now. If Cameron and Clegg had never smoked, they might be running the country into the ground by now. Just look how those last three have changed since they stopped smoking.

Churchill was fat and a total piss-head too. I’d have voted for him, there’d be no ASH and no minimum pricing and no fat and salt nagging if he was in power. The EU wouldn’t get very far with him either.

The comments are full of the usual brainwashed ASH drones:

Smoking causes holes in your brain. When my mother got Alzheimer’s, she had a brain scan. The brain scan showed that she had hundreds of holes (dead spots) in her brain. The doctor said the holes were caused by her smoking, not by the Alzheimer’s. I was shocked and asked the doctor why this information was not advertised. He simply shrugged. My mother smoked for 30 years before quitting but she was left a brain riddled with holes. So smoking causes cancer, emphysema, CPD, and kills the brain, but people insist on smoking! McIver3 , San Diego, 27/11/2012 01:19

Sigh. The doctor shrugged because he was telling you made-up crap, quite possibly made up by himself on the spot. And you believed it without bothering to check, and you think your mother is the one with holes in her brain. Smoking, overall, prevents Alzheimer’s, it was shown long ago. It does not cause holes in the brain. Nor is it proven to cause any of the other things you list.

The added disadvantage for smokers losing some IQ due to smoking is that they start from a low number to start with- or they would not have smoked in the first place. Couple that to the fact that even with irrefutable evidence of the damage it causes they continue to indulge what is a totally ridiculous habit. Zumbugga, Luton, 26/11/2012 11:47

Oh really? After some 30 years of smoking my IQ is right down to 163 (140-odd after half a bottle of whisky) so I could have been Lex Luthor or Davros.

I think I’ll be Davros. He has cooler henchmen.

I always make it my business to treat smokers as second class citizens – because they are. They REALLY stink, they age prematurely, they develop a hideous voice, they can’t drive properly whilst smoking – the list goes on and on. Filthy habit, perpetuated by weak willed idiots who are hooked on a drug. Disgusting. ChrisC, Peterborough, 26/11/2012 13:51

If I am ever in Peterborough, ChrisC, we should have a conversation. A calm, quiet, gentle chat. Why? Because I will have an awful lot of fun with a drone as gullible as you. You won’t know I’m a smoker, either.

Smoking is disgusting and most smokers are oblivious to their disgusting behaviour because they are used to it. Everytime i have smokers over i find ciggy buts all over my garden, in pots in grids, which i have to clean up. Today i put my little boy in the back seat of the car to find my car full of horrible ciggy smoke. When i looked around i found a smoking end in the gutter, still puffing smoke, all going straight into my car. Kill yourself if you must but dont take me with you Petitpois, Inthegarden, 26/11/2012 19:52

Don’t worry, Petitpois, I intend to make sure you and all your fellow idiot drones go first. Dying of nothing but your own imagination.

My Father smoked until his lungs were so bad he could not smoke. He died as we all thought he would from lung cancer. I would like to ask some of those who despite the known and serious health hazards of smoking if once their lungs have become so bad if they then expect somebody who has looked after theirs to donate their lungs to them. M49tan, Farnham, United Kingdom, 26/11/2012 18:46

No, smokers don’t get lung transplants. Smokers’ lungs are often used for transplants because they aren’t actually any different to anyone else’s. Except this smoker. I have long since torn up my donor card and if they make it an opt-out system instead, my name will be at the top of the opt-out list. I don’t want to risk being the one to prolong your life in any way, M49tan. You are a hateful bastard and as thick as the shit coming out of someone who lives on wallpaper paste and lead filings.

These are the people telling us that smokers are stupid.

This is not the pot calling the kettle black. This is the pot calling the highly polished chrome radiator grille ‘black’.

But what do I know? As a smoker I am now without a sense of smell, I am blind, I am institutionalised in the Stupid Place and am illiterate.

It’s a good thing I didn’t try to take up blogging.

Oh wait…