Even a head fitted with an extension to add an extra stupid lobe to the brain.
Yes, it’s our current Prime Monster once again. Every time he speaks I expect to hear ‘Duuuuh…’ between sentences.
He now believes that supermarkets push up the price of food to subsidise the selling of cheap booze. He does not explain why meat is so much more expensive at the butcher’s who doesn’t sell any booze at all.
He also believes that strong lager can be had for 25p a can. That’s only true if you can get drunk on weasel piss, you Tefal-headed twat. If you drank a whole case of the 25p a can stuff, the only thing you’re likely to be hospitalised with is a burst bladder. Proper strong lager is now seriously expensive stuff, even in the supermarkets. Four cans of Tennent’s Super passed the £6 mark some time ago. I haven’t bought any for ages, it’s not a good combination with getting up to go to work.
So. Let us attempt to explain basic business management to the leader of the Tory party (sigh. Has it really come to this?).
Let’s say I sell two product lines. It doesn’t matter what they are, we can call them A and B.
Product A is selling well but product B isn’t. I need to reduce the price of product B. I will take it down bit by bit until it starts to sell, but I won’t stay in business if I cut my profit to zero. There is a limit. I can put some lines within that product on special offer for a week to try to attract new regular customers, but I’d have to put it back up again or lose money forever.
My competitor down the street sells the same products so we are both already shaving overheads and cutting profits because we are competing for the same customers.
So, if I can’t sell product B and make a profit, do I:
a) stop selling product B and let the competition fight amongst themselves,
b) sell at a loss until bankruptcy hits, or
c) boost the price of product A to subsidise the loss-making product B?
Option C is the one the leader of the Tory Party thinks I would choose. Note that the word ‘thinks’ is applied in its loosest possible sense here.
My competitor would be delighted. Not only am I now making a loss on product B, all my customers are now buying product A from him because I’ve put up my prices. My business will close within a week.
It’s simple. If any shop is making a consistent loss on a product line, they stop selling it. That’s why the beer selection changes – if it’s not popular, it doesn’t get re-stocked. No shop anywhere is going to put up the price of their standard fare (McEwan’s Export in these parts) to subsidise the loss-making craft beer known as Jock McSquirty’s Bowel Purger.
If Morrison’s are putting up the price of food to subsidise booze, why is the Co-op more expensive for both and why are local grocers who don’t stock booze the most expensive of all? Food in supermarkets is cheap – for those of us who aren’t worried about posh labels, it can be incredibly cheap. Their booze isn’t. Not unless you are happy with a tin of ‘water with a hint of beer’. The single malts don’t go below £20 even on special offer, and special offers on those are rare. They can be over £40 a bottle even in a supermarket. You won’t get these in an off-licence because the price a smaller business will have to charge means nobody can afford them. Supermarkets get a discount because they buy by the truckload not by the bottle. That is why they can sell at lower prices.
Proper beers are rarely less than £1 a tin for 4% strength and if you have a hankering for anything stronger, you’ll be laying down more than that. Bring in a price of 45p per unit and those 25p cans will probably be cheaper. They aren’t even any good for slug traps. The slugs can’t get drunk enough to drown in it.
Could someone in government please take this man to one side and explain that he is supposed to be the leader of the party of business and free enterprise? Could you point out that even the Brown Gorgon’s Balls is laughing at his grasp of economics? Where is he getting this rubbish from?
Downing Street told the newspaper Mr Cameron’s comments were based on research by Newcastle University liver specialist Dr Chris Record in 2009.
Ah. Not from anyone with any business experience. Not from anyone in retail. Not from any school of economics.
From a liver specialist, one who thinks that if he can stop everyone drinking anything he can spend all his time on the golf course.
I know people in Newcastle University. Good scientists, who still place the pursuit of knowledge above the pursuit of funding. They are getting older and some might have retired by now, but that was a very good university once.
Shame it’s just an indoctrination centre now. The reason Tiny Blur wanted everyone to go to university now becomes a little clearer.
It’s where he placed all his nannying fussbuckets.
And Cameron is stupid enough to believe anything he is told. He truly is the heir to Blair.