Electrofags – now more deadly than smoke.

It’s been some time since I mentioned Electrofags. I still have mine, still have a puff on some coffee or French pipe flavoured steam now and then, but for me, they won’t replace smoking. I rarely bother with the tobacco flavour. That’s not what they are for, for me. They are for blowing steam rings that taste like strawberries. Something different. They remain an ‘as well as’ rather than an ‘instead of’ device.

VGIF has the latest story of utter and blatant lies put out about the Electrofag. An absolutely unsubstantiated claim that they are more dangerous than tobacco because once in a while they might give one or two people a bit of a tickly throat. That’s really really dangerous, apparently. Much more dangerous than the things attributed to smoking (if you want a list, get a medical dictionary and start with ‘A’. Everything in there has been blamed on smoking at some point).

There is logic in the anti-Electrofag lies, in a twisted sort of way. Consider: second hand smoke is more deadly than actually inhaling the smoke, third hand smoke is more deadly than second hand smoke, barely detectable traces are more deadly yet, so by that logic, something that produces no smoke at all must be the most deadly thing on the planet. If you have an Electrofag with no juice in it, it is a veritable Doomsday device. My next mission will be to convince a drone of this.

Meanwhile Dick Puddlecote has an amusing tale of the terrors induced in the gullible by a bit of steam with a food-grade thickening agent added to it. The last example makes me actually want to go to a MacDonald’s and fire up the old battery-powered toy.

In McDonald’s on High Holborn, Hayden Evans, 12, from Colchester, asks his father whether my smoke will “go into” his Happy Meal.

Oh yes, young lad, it will indeed, but there is worse. Did you see that burger-flipper go outside for five minutes? He came back in covered in third hand smoke and it’s in your burger right now. No point worrying about it, it was in all the burgers you’ve eaten in the past too, so you will be dead before you reach sixteen. Best decide now who’s going to get your Xbox, in case you don’t last that long.

Still, as DP notes, that problem won’t be around long. Happy meals, burgers, all the rest of it are on borrowed time now. Little Hayden needn’t worry about being dragged into the binge-drinking pub culture either because by the time he’s old enough to go, there won’t be any left. Just the smoky-drinkies and of course, he can’t go there.

There will probably be vapey-drinkies too, since the push is on to get rid of this ‘looks like smoking therefore must be evil’ device. It won’t be easy. They are on sale anywhere that sells tobacco now. When I was first showing mine around, nobody had heard of it. Now even the Co-op sells them and most people know what they are. All the ones in the shops look like real cigarettes but they don’t need to. They don’t need to resemble cigarettes at all. I have one that looks like a USB stick.

They could look just like asthma inhalers, and I’d love to see the bansturbators try to ban the use of those in public. The first asthmatic arrested would clean them out with compensation claims.

Hm. I wonder what else they could be made to resemble? Something that would cause absolute mayhem if they tried to ban it?

For now, I have to sleep. I have a swap-shift tomorrow so I’m on the 9-1 slot. This is actually a good thing. I wanted to get to the lab but wasn’t sure I could rely on the buses to get me back in time for work if I went in the morning. Tomorrow I can visit the lab in the afternoon and it doesn’t matter what time I get home.

After tomorrow, I can resume the late nights and late mornings which are the normal routine for a properly-adjusted human. Sunrise is a private thing and should not be ogled at by voyeuristic human eyes.

Also, it burns.



19 thoughts on “Electrofags – now more deadly than smoke.

  1. At my son’s wedding (just over a year ago) there was a couple from the bride’s side enjoying an e-fag at the reception. Good friends of mine, who are normally quite intelligent, were convinced it was a joint as “It can’t be a fag, coz smoking tobacco indoors is illegal” – so it’s OK to smoke an illegal substance indoors, is it? Jaw, meet floor!

    As for burgers being next on the hit(ler) list, urine was definitely warming this morning with the push for a sugary drinks tax – http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2013/jan/29/tax-sugary-drinks-child-health (drones out in full force in the comments). I seem to recall drinking all kinds of sugary drinks as a kid, no sugar-free versions back then, yet there was no ‘obesity crisis’ – something to do with getting off my arse and running round the ‘adventure playgrounds’ left behind by the Luftwaffe.

    Ah buggrit, where’s my Irn Bru?


    • Those ‘intelligent’ people are everywhere. The logic goes that the most recently outlawed thing trumps the long-outlawed thing, so if someone is smoking indoors, it cannot be tobacco because that’s illegal to smoke indoors. Therefore it must be the only other smoking thing they know about, even though it is currently illegal to smoke that anywhere.

      Can’t blame them entirely. Amsterdam allows smoking pot in their pot-holes but bans tobacco in there. Several US states are trying to make smoking illegal while decriminalising marijuana. Some idiot UK politicians think the same doublethink. So if you’re a nonsmoker, on the outside, I suppose it can all get very confusing.

      It baffles the hell out of me, and I’m a smoker!


    • Ah, but once the slippery slope starts sliding, it’ll be sugar itself that will be taxed. ‘The cheeeldren are buying the horrible bitter drinks and adding sugar! Something must be done!’

      Sugar needs to be stored dry, preferably in something mice can’t chew through and damp can’t penetrate. Something like the plastic tubs I store my salt stocks in. In that condition it will keep for a very long time. So I’ll have to get more plastic tubs. Fortunately these are very cheap indeed.

      I’ll need something to feed my pet yeasts in Febrewery (coined by Giolla on Farcebook).


  2. Talking of exhaling steam.

    No smoking ‘graffiti’ helping to spread the message

    Ignore the story, but watch the video, look at that antismoking official at 00:46, blowing the contents of his lungs all over that poor reporter.

    I used to find people’s visible breath on a chilly day rather endearing, but there are exceptions, shouldn’t a devout healthist be wearing a mask?


  3. You could make an Efag that looks like a cock.
    Hold it by the feet put its head in your mouth and “smoke”comes out its arse.

    Oh dear I regret that now but I could not resist and I’m not wasting all that typing. Forgive me LI.


    • I read the first line and thought ‘That will appeal to some of the ladies, I’m sure, and I’d defy any Pseudoplod to do a damn thing about it’.

      But then I read on and thought ‘Hmm. The Farting Chicken Electrofag has market potential. I mean, they already hate us anyway…’


  4. Found your blog today and have read my way through tons of your posts. Excellent – mair power to yer elbae 🙂 WordPress has a plug-in called Akismet which should catch 99% (or more!) of your spam for you! Jo 🙂


    • Welcome to the madhouse, Jo. I took a look over at your place and decided not to post pictures of my own grandma. There isn’t one in which she doesn’t look like she’s about to tear the photographer’s head off. She didn’t like being photographed and if I posted one, it would immediately become clear why.


  5. In last night’s “Lewis” (which I downloaded “illegally” to watch tonight) the point was made that the Detective vaping apologised twice for doing so and it was shown that he was expected to do it outside…

    Typical MSM…and it was strange that they chose to use one of those e-cigs that whistle so that anyone in the vicinity is warned of the deadly SHS coming there way…and for the hard of hearing it, the e-cig, had a bright blue neon light too.

    You know, back when Old Fashioned Values were new fangled, they made their Lepers ring a bell and call out “UNCLEAN”.

    For the sake of the Cheeldren no doubt.


  6. Pingback: Electrofags - now more deadly than smoke. | Tobacco Harm Reduction | Scoop.it

  7. Pingback: Electrofags – now more deadly than smoke. | vapeforlife

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