It’s been some time since I mentioned Electrofags. I still have mine, still have a puff on some coffee or French pipe flavoured steam now and then, but for me, they won’t replace smoking. I rarely bother with the tobacco flavour. That’s not what they are for, for me. They are for blowing steam rings that taste like strawberries. Something different. They remain an ‘as well as’ rather than an ‘instead of’ device.
VGIF has the latest story of utter and blatant lies put out about the Electrofag. An absolutely unsubstantiated claim that they are more dangerous than tobacco because once in a while they might give one or two people a bit of a tickly throat. That’s really really dangerous, apparently. Much more dangerous than the things attributed to smoking (if you want a list, get a medical dictionary and start with ‘A’. Everything in there has been blamed on smoking at some point).
There is logic in the anti-Electrofag lies, in a twisted sort of way. Consider: second hand smoke is more deadly than actually inhaling the smoke, third hand smoke is more deadly than second hand smoke, barely detectable traces are more deadly yet, so by that logic, something that produces no smoke at all must be the most deadly thing on the planet. If you have an Electrofag with no juice in it, it is a veritable Doomsday device. My next mission will be to convince a drone of this.
Meanwhile Dick Puddlecote has an amusing tale of the terrors induced in the gullible by a bit of steam with a food-grade thickening agent added to it. The last example makes me actually want to go to a MacDonald’s and fire up the old battery-powered toy.
In McDonald’s on High Holborn, Hayden Evans, 12, from Colchester, asks his father whether my smoke will “go into” his Happy Meal.
Oh yes, young lad, it will indeed, but there is worse. Did you see that burger-flipper go outside for five minutes? He came back in covered in third hand smoke and it’s in your burger right now. No point worrying about it, it was in all the burgers you’ve eaten in the past too, so you will be dead before you reach sixteen. Best decide now who’s going to get your Xbox, in case you don’t last that long.
Still, as DP notes, that problem won’t be around long. Happy meals, burgers, all the rest of it are on borrowed time now. Little Hayden needn’t worry about being dragged into the binge-drinking pub culture either because by the time he’s old enough to go, there won’t be any left. Just the smoky-drinkies and of course, he can’t go there.
There will probably be vapey-drinkies too, since the push is on to get rid of this ‘looks like smoking therefore must be evil’ device. It won’t be easy. They are on sale anywhere that sells tobacco now. When I was first showing mine around, nobody had heard of it. Now even the Co-op sells them and most people know what they are. All the ones in the shops look like real cigarettes but they don’t need to. They don’t need to resemble cigarettes at all. I have one that looks like a USB stick.
They could look just like asthma inhalers, and I’d love to see the bansturbators try to ban the use of those in public. The first asthmatic arrested would clean them out with compensation claims.
Hm. I wonder what else they could be made to resemble? Something that would cause absolute mayhem if they tried to ban it?
For now, I have to sleep. I have a swap-shift tomorrow so I’m on the 9-1 slot. This is actually a good thing. I wanted to get to the lab but wasn’t sure I could rely on the buses to get me back in time for work if I went in the morning. Tomorrow I can visit the lab in the afternoon and it doesn’t matter what time I get home.
After tomorrow, I can resume the late nights and late mornings which are the normal routine for a properly-adjusted human. Sunrise is a private thing and should not be ogled at by voyeuristic human eyes.
Also, it burns.