Three thousand babbles

How many posts must a man write down
Before they call him a blogger?
And how many times must he rant and rave
Before he’s targeted by spammers?
The answer, my friend, is giving me the wind
The answer is giving me the wind.

Or maybe that’s the half a bag of Bombay Mix I have stuffed down this evening. Hey, it’s Ethnic, so it’s obviously healthy. Saying it’s unhealthy is racist, so pipe down, healthies. Racist-bigot-Nazi. Whoo-ha, how do you like looking down the barrel of your own gun, Righteous?

Incidentally, it has occurred to me that since cows and sheep eat vegetables, and we are what we eat, then cows and sheep are made of vegetables and therefore burgers count towards your five a day. Must remember that next time I meet a health nut.

What was I on about? Oh yes. This is post number 3000. That counts all of it, from the Livejournal beginnings, through Blogger to here. It’s all here.

It started as a joke blog in March 2007, but soon turned political when antismoking took off big time and I found blogs like Devil’s Kitchen and Guido Fawkes. The latter is now unreadable, the comment threads are full of rambling maniacs and soon get too big to bother with. The articles are still mostly good, if on occasion somewhat self-aggrandizing. The Devil is still with us, fortunately, although these days his kitchen cauldron is less frequently heated.

Three thousand posts. What a babbler. Still, the odds are that one or two will make sense simply by random chance. Then again, most of them went up while under the influence (yes, this one too) so that skews the probability curve for ‘sense’ quite a bit. On the other other hand, I can put away most of a bottle of whisky and still make more sense than any of the Dreadful Arnott’s pseudoscientists. As for her, a hamster with a crack habit makes more sense. The government, or at least the few remaining sentient parts of it, might be starting to notice that.

More on Dreadful later. I don’t have to be awake at surreal times of day tomorrow so can babble on a bit tonight.

YouTube is working again. Thanks for all the suggestions, I don’t know what worked because I applied them all (except Google Chrome) and when I restarted, Microsoft had sent ten updates. I have no idea what was wrong and no idea what fixed it, but it’s fixed. So I have a jolly little ditty on almost continuous play. Am I the only one who thinks that song makes perfect sense? It certainly gets the story glands going, doesn’t it? Not the story in the video, although that’s pretty creepy at the end, but the alternate interpretations.

Speaking of creepy, the baker left Local Shop today for a new job. I gave him a copy of Samuel’s Girl as a going-away present. Well, we were the only two male smokers in the place so now I have to smoke with all the girls. Isn’t life hard? Anyway, his final shift finished at 4:30 and after he left, I noticed the bakery clock had stopped. At 4:30. Wooo…

But first, before I let my mind wander into the dark parts only whisky lets me reach, there has been an Interesting Thing today.

Stay tuned for Post 3001.

(erm… there will be a slight delay. I fell asleep. Only a four hour shift at work today so I’ll be back.)

Also, I note the spaminator is getting a bit overzealous. I’ve fished quite a few comments out of there lately.)


29 thoughts on “Three thousand babbles

  1. L I

    Congratulations, 3000. I am only on my eighth Blog post and I find it difficult to put into words the thoughts running round my head. Maybe I should take up drinking whisky rather than Bank Top real Ale.


  2. Staying tuned… although iced tea won’t keep me nearly as tuned as most of a bottle of whiskey! Hmm… interesting! Y’know how you can have a dream and it’ll be totally forgotten and never thought of when awake until something brings it up? Well, that just NOW happened to me. I was about to type something about not actually liking whiskey and preferring vodka when I suddenly remembered a dream I had at some point in the last night or three. In the dream I had a cup of whiskey in front of me and I drank it and it tasted WONDERFUL! And I thought to myself (in the dream) “That’s funny. I guess I I’ve suddenly developed a taste for whiskey. I never liked it before!” And then I poured myself another.

    That’s it… just that one little snippet, clear as day, but with absolutely no context or sense of WHY I would have had such a dream. And if it wasn’t for you Leg, it probably would have moved into the permanently-forgotten-and-will-never-have-been-thought-of-while-awake world. And dreams, if you think about them, are, in a sense, almost as much a part of your “life” as your awake life: you experience things in them, and then later on you have a memory of that experience. That memory can be just as “real” a memory as your memory of a trip to Disney World (Or, in your case, Madame Tussaud’s House Of Horrors) and thus becomes, in a very real sense, part of your life experience!

    Some people say they never dream. It’s sad… I think they’re missing an important part of their lives because of that. Hey, *I* know (sorta) what it’s like to be able to think myself up into the air and fly! It doesn’t work when I’m awake, but I can “remember” the fun I had doing it while asleep!

    Sooo… thank you Leg for letting me enjoy whiskey for once in my life.

    And MANY congrats on blog # 3,000!!!



  3. Congrats Mr Iron. That’s an incredible landmark. Just keep on producing, please? It must make you one of the most productive writers on Earth.


  4. Happy Blogday LI & many happy returns. Will raise a glass or two of Balvenie in your honour this evening (after at least four pints this lunchtime – monitoring that, Righteous?).


  5. Thank you Leggy, for your blog and for your help in private offline. I can’t imagine your blog not being my first click in the morning…even before I check my gmail account or my swiss bank accounts or my stock brokers. Oh ok, I’m kidding about the last two but your blog is that much of a MUST READ for me.

    3k+ Congratz!


  6. … cows and sheep are made of vegetables and therefore burgers count towards your five a day. Must remember that next time I meet a health nut.

    Been using this line for years… and you know what? I haven’t found a health nut with half a brain that can get themselves out of a logic loop when presented with this argument. Of course, most will claim the cow/sheep sucks all the goodness out of the grass so the burger/chop is bad when it reaches us. “Okay” says I, “If the good stuff goes in, but is then absent from the corpse; surely it can only have left by way of expiration, perspiration or defecation? You tell me which one you’re advising your family to lick or sniff for Sunday lunch?”.


  7. Way Hay, this sounds like just my sort of Blog I might even try it myself since I am totally incapable of writing anything even remotely, intellectually understandable.
    And I can’t stop smoking. There, I’ve said it.


    • Welcome to the club. Took a look at your place – you’re right about those birds. If you stay still long enough, the sparrows and blackbirds can be cheeky little buggers once they know you aren’t going to hurt them.


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