I have to do the morning shift tomorrow. Mornings are terrible things, invented by Satan to disrupt God’s holy and greatly civilised plan to start the day with lunch. I am certain that mornings are the root of all evil. Nobody likes them and everyone is in a bad mood. What more proof do you need?
Anyway. I am on limited whisky (just Black Bottle, none of the strong stuff) due to this getting up early crap but will make up for it tomorrow evening at Smoky-Drinky. I will also have a photography gig which I hope to be paid for in booze rather than taxable cash. I know, it’s ‘payment in kind’ but if I’m not pouring then I can’t quantify it, can I?
If my pal Alec’s pouring, nobody can quantify it anyway.
So I have been musing on what the various races of humanity are good at. All are good at something. I will not dwell on the black races of African descent who are good at every bloody thing. Best dancers, best singers, fastest runners, football, anything involving physical activity and the sods have it covered. They are up there in the comedian and acting stakes and have some neat thinkers too. No wonder the world hates them, they are just so damn good at everything.
Even Shirley Bassey. A Cardiff girl from the rough dockland area of Tiger Bay who should have had a nasal passage bypass accent that would make a drunk Australian sheep-shearer wince. Brilliant singer. How did she escape that terrible accent to become such a great singer? Is it because she was black? You’ll see a beautiful white girl in Cardiiff and then she’ll speak and your ears will suppurate. Unless you’re lucky and she’s not local.
Enough of those original humans. Let’s go on to the lesser forms.
Chinese. I love these people. They live under one of the most oppressive regimes on the planet and none of them give a flying fuck. There are few laws beyond ‘don’t piss off the government, don’t kill or rape or steal, otherwise just shut up and get on with it’. They had a place called Kowloon where nobody gave a damn about any laws at all, especially building regulations, and the government has only recently done something about it. It wasn’t in the way so it was ignored.
They’ll eat anything and they can take any Western idea, copy it and make it cheaper. They can live on next to nothing. If there is a race that can be said to just not care, it’s China. Wonderful place. One day I will visit it again. Mae win ti.
Japan is pretty much the opposite. They are like the Doozers of Fraggle Rock. Build build build. It’s out of date. Smash it and build a new one. Do it now. NOW! Everything is fast and crowded. Too fast a life for me.
India/Pakistan, the whole area before the West imposed the idea of countries on them… industrious and sensibly ignoring of all health and safety. They’ll run shops as long as people want to buy and if that means opening at 7 am and closing at midnight, they’ll do it. Family is so important that granddad might open the shop and grandson close it. I have great respect for that. Family businesses are, or used to be, the mainstay of Britishness before the supermarkets. We have forgotten but those we taught our ways have not.
I’m not going through the whole planet tonight. Too little time.
I wondered what we whiteys were good at. Gadgets, yes, we invent them but then the Chinese make them cheaper. What else?
Wars. We love wars. War on the other side of the planet that has nothing to do with us? We are so there, man. No need for invite.
Thing is, we love them so much we don’t want them to end. So the government makes sure they never do by declining all requests for trivial resources like bullets and by handing out redundancy notices to those on the front line.
It is with some relief that we find Cameron’s ambitions to be the new Warmonger Blair thwarted by the House of Conmen, and let’s hope that totally wrecks any chance this slaphead has of ever coming back in politics. Heir to Brown s likely to be his fate and if there is a fate worse than death, that must surely be it.
Finally, for those who want to scream ‘Racist!’, here is a Canadian of Indian heritage talking about the Chinese and Jamaicans. Have fun with your mind-melts.