Everything is caused by smoking. Even attitudes.

A head teacher has been receiving threats and abuse from moronic parents who don’t agree with her rules. All but one of her rules make perfect sense to me but to the average spoiled brat who is now the parent of an uber-spoiled brat, they will all be annoying.

The article is written to blame the whole thing on the few parents she asked not to smoke at the school gates. Okay, she has no business banning smoking anywhere outside the school gates – but did she ban it? The article says she asked them not to. That is not the same as imposing a ban. If you ‘ask me not to’ I can respond with ‘Okay, no problem’ or ‘Drive nails through it and ram it into an orifice sideways, then fit a high power drill to the end of it and turn it on’. It all depends on how you ask.

A ban has legal force. Asking does not. Since she has no authority outside the school gates, I’m betting she just asked. Some will have said ‘Okay’ and some will have gone off on one.

Even so, all the threats are implied to have come from the smokers. The comments are full of ASH drones and Mocktober idiots who have fallen for it hook, line and sinker. They fall for anything.

(There are a few places left on the Octabber response. We have a plan for excess contributions too, nothing will be wasted).

All the threats are from smokers, eh?

A group of parents have allegedly now threatened to smoke in a ‘picket line’ outside the school gates.
They had also vowed in online messages to ‘smash up the van’ the parent sold the cakes from after they were branded ‘unhealthy’.

Interesting. So ‘smokers’ think little cakes are ‘unhealthy’. Does that really sound like it comes from smokers? Or does it sound more like it comes from the drones of the anti-everything brigade? As for the ‘smoking picket’, I suppose that depends on the tone and manner in which she asked them not to smoke. We smokers are a little touchy at the moment. None of the antismokers are capable of grasping any reason as to why that might be, but we are. The slightest hint of pomposity will make us arch our backs, fluff out our tails and hiss. Oh yes, smokers have tails. They teach the kids that in school.

So is it really only the smokers? Here are the rules this head teacher imposed.

Children banned from bringing toys and games to school.

Perfectly sensible. They are there to learn, not play. That was in place in the sixties and seventies too. Kids fighting over toys, losing or breaking toys, does not improve their learning. Some modern spoiled-bastard parents will whine ‘Oh but Little Johhny must have his favourite toy at all times. Banning it is sooo unfair!’ There is where the threats come from.

‘Responsible thinking room’ scrapped and lunchtime detentions introduced for children aged over seven who misbehave.

Absolutely agree. She has removed the stupid leftie nonsense of isolation rooms and gone back to the straight ‘you mess with us and you get punished’ of proper teaching. The spoiled-bastard parents won’t like that.

Two-minute detention time handed out for every minute a child aged over seven is late to school.

Love it. Why are they late for school? Because their parents can’t be bothered to get them there on time. It’s the parents’ fault the kid is in detention and they will not accept that, neither will they like it.

Lunchtime detentions for pupils to complete homework or class work if not done on time.

We had that also in the sixties and seventies. I spent many a lunchtime writing out an incomprehensible sentence a hundred times. It was better than the cane but still, it was a lesson in ‘don’t get caught again’. Modern progressive idiot parents won’t like it.

Parents asked not to smoke at school gates.

The only one that doesn’t have a bullet point in the mail list. Just slipped in there. I don’t recall parents smoking at the school gates when I was a kid but then there were very few parents at those gates. We were expected to survive the journey home and we did. Every day. In those days, we learned self-reliance, a skill that has sadly gone the way of the pollarder. Few can do it now.

Reading diaries issued to encourage children to improve literacy while at home.

I see nothing wrong with that. Sounds as if they just keep a note of what books they’ve read. eBooks will count. Lefty parents will insist this is ‘nanny state stuff’ which needs a bigger word than irony.

Naughty children taught by teachers rather than supervised by staff in exclusion rooms.

*blink* You mean… they’ve been putting kids in solitary? Just… what the blistering fuck? Good on this headmaster for stopping this monstrosity.

More time spent by teachers giving feedback to pupils about their homework.

They used to do that in the old days anyway. They didn’t mince words either.

Teachers lesson plans closely scrutinised and given more training and advice.

Sounds good to me.

The only thing I could take any issue with in that list, and it’s really not much of an issue, is where she asks smokers not to smoke outside her school. Inside the grounds she has the right to declare a ban. All schools have always banned it anyway, but we had bike sheds. Outside the school she has no right to declare a ban – but she did not do that. She asked them not to smoke. That’s all. Anyone can ask me not to smoke any time they like and as I said, I will either not smoke or smoke more depending on how I’m asked and depending on the reason for the asking.

The rest of the rules would not trouble me at all. Why would anyone be bothered by them?

Mrs Papas, 53, said she was shocked when she saw the petition and did not expect it at the school because it is much more ‘middle-class’ than the one she ran before.

She is the same age as me. In our youth, the middle class were sensible if somewhat staid people. The modern middle class would be better described as the mindless class. They cannot be bothered thinking and want someone else to do it for them. They accept every insane ‘progressive’ idea and they rail against any return to reality. Every single item on that head teacher’s utterly sensible list will send the modern mindless class into a rage – except the ‘would you mind not smoking’ item. They’ll love that one, it lets them hate someone else more.

As with everything else that’s blamed on smoking, this is easily debunked as being just another poorly contrived antismoker propaganda exercise. The hate is not coming from smokers, it is coming from ‘progressive’ haters. See how many commenters insist that all smokers are fat and on benefits in this middle class area. Ask yourself ‘Who is the stupid one?’

Antismokers, we smokers don’t hate you. We don’t care enough about you to have any feelings about you at all.

You are simply not relevant.



46 thoughts on “Everything is caused by smoking. Even attitudes.

  1. “I spent many a lunchtime writing out an incomprehensible sentence a hundred times.”
    When I was at school I heard of children being forced to write essays such as: ‘describe the inside of a ping pong ball’. I imagine you’d have had great fun explaining that ping pong balls are actually giant spider’s eggs and then describing what’s inside them.


    • Back then, if you had been paying attention in chemistry, physics and maths, an essay on the inside of a ping pong ball would be no trouble.

      Then again, an essay describing how the bounce is caused ny trapped demons, and that ping pong balls all originated from archaeological digs in Mesopotamia and linking them to those spherules found on Mars…


  2. Sorry, LI, but I disagree. Her right to ask me not to do things which have nothing to do with her ends at my ears. I fully understand parents saying, “Who do you think you’re talking to?”
    The odd thing is that she said it.


    • You are right. She can ask but the smokers can say ‘no’.

      What I dispute is that all the hate she is getting comes from the (probably few) radical smokers at her gates. There will be a few fundamentalists but I think most of the hate she gets comes from the progressive leftie middle class who think their little darlings should be allowed to stab teachers with no consequence.

      The story, like all stories, is twisted to blame it all on smokers.


    • I agree with Junican. And isn’t it most likely that smokers are smoking outside the school gates because it’s one of the few places where they can still smoke?

      I’d also add that I actually do hate antismokers. They hate me, and so I hate them back.


      • Hate involves effort. I don’t think they are worth the effort.

        If ants invade my house I will do all I can to eradicate them – but I don’t hate them. They are merely a mindless pest to be disposed of.

        Hate is what antismokers use to drive their drones – it clouds judgement and confuses the mind. People in the throes of hate have highly malleable minds, wide open to the calm and (apparently) logical voice… 😉


    • I once worked in a school which introduced a smoking area. Perhaps surprisingly, it was backed by some of the most ‘progressive’ staff as an issue of child welfare, arguing that a perceived addiction made it hard for some pupils to get through the day without a cigarette.

      A disused tennis court by the main gate was allocated for the purpose; to access it, pupils had to sign up to a ‘stop smoking’ programme (with the use of patches and gum) and provide written permission from their parents.

      As a result of the policy, prospective parents visiting the school were now treated to the sight of a dozen or so teenagers merrily puffing away, there was a roaring black market in nicotine gum in year 9 and the school nurse was inundated with badly-written authorisation letters purporting to be from the likes of ‘Chelsees mumm’.

      Interesting times!


      • We had big brick bike sheds where the smokers lurked. The teachers didn’t allow smoking but since many of them were smokers, they didn’t enforce the rules unless someone was blatant. Keep it out of sight behind the bike sheds, the teachers won’t bother to check.

        I’m sure I told the story of Fudd, the ancient biology teacher. One of the kids lit a cigar at the back of the class. Another, one who thought himself witty, shouted ‘Sir, there’s a fire in the classroom.’

        Fudd never even paused in his blackboard-writing. ‘Well you won’t burn, (name), you’re too green.’

        Yes, he identified the boy without turning around and wasn’t bothered about cigar smpokein the class. He was a pipe smoker, and so was a later tweed-coated biology teacher who arrived once they had pried Fudd’s fingers off the chalk and forced him to retire.


  3. I came to the conclusion some time ago that most of the bullshit comes from the middle class! I’m talking about the IKEA furnitured, wine sipping, iPhone phondling, Guardian reading, Facefooking, Twattering Borg here.


    • ” Guardian reading, ”

      Uhm no, no member of the Middle Class would read such a northern rag as the Manchester Guardian. My mother was very clear on the fact that no gentleman reads a tabloid nor a ‘red top’….and lets be frank, the Guardian is simply the Daily Mail for Mumsnetters.


      • LOLZ. Well there’s Middle Class and “Middle Class”. You brought gender into it! You and Legiron have bigger balls than me!


  4. Sorry Leggy, but I do hate them. Anti-smokers are the lowest of the low. I really can’t think of any group I loathe more as they sum up the very worst of humanity – child-like, stupid, easily-led yet vocal in their entitlements, fascistic, fun-hating, conformist, anti-scientific, anti-expression…. They are basically anti-human. As such I would gladly see them all dead. Sorry…..


    • I’d see them all dead and have no more feeling than I would for derris-sprayed greenfly. To me, they have fallen below ‘hate’ and into ‘irritant’. They are not worth the effort of hating.

      Wasps, I hate. Slugs, I hate. These antismokers? They are lower on the list of things I expend effort on than wasps and slugs.

      When I say I hope to convince one to death one day, I’m not kidding. Ideally, not too quickly. As with ants, dealing with them one at a time takes forever so you give them something nasty to take back to the nest.

      I hope to give them an idea.


  5. It will be some of the smoking parents threatening to picket and cause criminal damage to the cake van. Idiots the lot – such tactics are guaranteed to fuel anti smoker sentiment (as evidenced by the DM comments). ASHites will be rubbing their hands in anticipation and praying these are not hollow threats. The champagne will already be on ice. It’s like the passive smoking shit, they’re desperately hoping that someone’s death will be unequivocally proven to have been the direct result of inhaling second-hand smoke.


    • There might be some smoking parents in that lot but really, I can’t see many smokers following the Jamie Oliver pathway on the cakes. I’d expect most of the anti-cake mob to also be antismokers.

      On the other hand, a smoking picket at school gates will, as you say, not help at all. The antismokers will instantly start in with ‘for the cheeeeldren’ – it’s a gift to them. That’s why they made pubs ‘family friendly’, so any smoke-in will ‘affect da cheeeeldren’ who shouldn’t be there in the first place.

      The smokers should withdraw from this fight and let the anti-cake mob have it. But then, have you tried talking sense to people these days? It’s a lost language for most.

      They will never have unequivocal proof of anything from second hand smoke, but they will pretend they do. SHS is their philosopher’s stone, it performs all sorts of magic but it doesn’t really exist.


    • XX ASHites will be rubbing their hands in anticipation and praying these are not hollow threats. XX

      “False flag.”

      Who made these threats? Smokers, or “ASH” disguised as such?

      Were the threats actualy made, or did some ASH drone invent them for the newspapers?

      I have done similar my self.

      Tink invasion on the Wirral.

      Night after night of burglarys, wrecked pubs, and general shit on the streets.

      Local council “could do nothing.” “We need at least a month to get a court order.” All that sort of bollox.

      So…. after a bit of thinking, I telephoned the police, annomynously, and told them that a couple of taxi drivers had reliably informed me, that a large gang of lads were planning to come over from Liverpool and Manchester, and have a go at this gypoe camp with shotguns.

      The camp was gone before the end of my shift.

      THIS is the game ASH could be playing in this school “incident.”


  6. I believe in the importance of hierarchy. The head teacher is the boss. If the boss says no smoking then you don’t smoke. If you don’t like it then go to another school that is happy to have crowds of smoking, swearing parents in their pyjamas at the gates.


    • “I believe in the importance of hierarchy”….

      Hmm….presumably ONLY if you are the boss….or
      do you always need to be told what to do, what to think, by authority???


      • No I’m not a libertarian, I’m an anarcho-fascist. And no I don’t want to be anybody’s boss. Being a good boss is a lot of responsibility and hard work, which are two things I avoid as best I can.

        And it doesn’t just apply to head teachers, I believe democracy would be a lot better if the PM had absolute power to do as they want for five years. I feel sorry for Dave Cameron having to listen to criticism all the time. Everyone should just do as he says.


    • Heirarchy is important within a closed system such as a school – unfortunately the kids are at the top of it these days. The teachers should be in charge of he kids, the head in charge of the teachers. This is what she is trying to impose within the school and on that, I say good for her.

      Outside the school she has no authority. She has no right to tell parents not to smoke outside school. Within my version of free speech, she has the right to ask them not to smoke – but they have the right to say ‘no’.


  7. “Susan Papas, who took charge of Selsdon Primary School in Croydon in September, brought in a raft of changes to improve school discipline and took to her online blog to ask people not to smoke as they waited to collect their children.”

    To ask someone not to smoke on the pavement in the open air is to make an intrusive, unnecessary and personal remark criticising their character, especially now.
    I realise good manners are a thing of the past, but the reason why they were formulated in the first place does still exist. As she has now found out.


      • It would be interesting to know just how many people really used to stand outside the school smoking before she asked them to stop and how many after.
        It would also be interesting to know exactly what she said to them.

        Even the most mild mannered, decent citizen can eventually be pushed too far.


        • Why just allow cigarettes? Why not ganja or booze? Heck it’s a free country so why not crank up the car stereo and make em all listen to hilarious radio one DJs at a million decibels? I hear being gay is all the rage these days, maybe they should start shagging each other on the pavement. Or maybe we can show some self control and wait till we get home.


          • Well, cigarettes are legal, pot is not. As for booze, there have been cases of parents swigging from Red Stripe cans at the school gates while wearing pyjamas and sandals…

            You know what? I don’t care. Let the parents booze and smoke when collecting their kids. Let them shoot up at the gates. They are not my kids. If they want their children to grow up as cannon-fodder for the next pointless war, or to die in the guttter in their own bowel contents and vomit, let them do that.

            I do not care at all about other people’s children. Most parents want the best for their children but there will always be enough utter wasters for a daily dose of the Mail. There will not always be benefits to feed them. Then they will die. As Dickens said, ‘if they are wont to die, then they had best do so, and decrease the surplus population’.

            I am not heartless but if the parents don’t want to look after their own children, why would I be expected to?

            In this age, a parent smoking is right at the bottom of the ‘risk to children’ gauge. There are far more dangerous things in the air now.


        • I see, “After a few weeks, she ‘respectfully’ asked parents to refrain from smoking outside the school’s gates, ‘as some may see this as setting a bad example’.”

          Meaning, if you smoke, you are a bad example to your children.
          Yes, that would have annoyed me too.

          Something about asthma or allergies might have been more prudent.


            • I’m sure she believes it.

              See, they said it in the papers, by now it’s gospel.

              Warning: the health police can seriously addle your brain – 2003

              “Dr Vivienne Nathanson, the head of science and ethics at the British Medical Association, said: “There is decades of overwhelming evidence that passive smoking causes lung cancer and heart disease, as well as triggering asthma attacks.”

              The reference to asthma hints at a new strategy by anti-smoking campaigners – towards a focus on the health of children. Unlike the risks from lung cancer and heart disease, the evidence that passive smoking damages the lungs of children is strong. Last week the British Thoracic Society called for more funding into this aspect of the smoking and health debate. That suggests that children with disorders such as asthma may soon become the focus of attempts to introduce a total ban on smoking in public places.”


            • One thing I would ask Dr. Nathanson – if there are decades of overwhelming evidence, why can nobody produce any? All we ever hear is ‘Roy Castle’ when passive smoking comes up, and his cancer could not have been caused by smoking.

              Nobody mentions titles or authors of papers showing this ‘overwhelming evidence’.

              If this is how the head of science and ethics at the BMA behaves, little wonder that nobody trusts doctors any more.


    • The thing about free speech is that it means people will say things you disagree with. The other thing about free speech is that you are free to disagree with them.

      So while I think she is not right to hector parents about smoking, I think she has the right to say it. The parents have the right to say ‘Sod you’ and light another one.

      Yes, smokers are getting more and more touchy now and the antismokers have long since pushed too far, but let them keep pushing. Let them reveal themselves in increments.

      They believe that ‘nonsmoker=antismoker’ but this is far, far from the truth. Most nonsmokers don’t give a damn about an activity they don’t engage in. The antismokers are by far a minority, a lunatic fringe whose lunacy becomes clearer by the day.

      Let them speak. Give them enough rope…


  8. (There are a few places left on the Octabber response. We have a plan for excess contributions too, nothing will be wasted).

    Just managed to break through my long suffering writers block and put together one for Octabber. I’d written one earlier with the Rodrigo de Jerez/October/Columbus Day angle and had to scrap it when I saw that Pat had already alluded to it. So, like any good roof cutter worth his salt, I changed the pitch slightly and made it work. I hope.

    It’s under 600 words, somewhat funny and somewhat stupid. Wouldn’t want to send anyone into shock by penning an erudite masterpiece.

    I just thought it might be interesting to submit a postcard from the belly of the antismoking beast here in California. Or should I say from the gall bladder of the beast.


    • Rose has mentioned Dr. Little often. That research is spreading fast, and the best part is that so many antis drive diesel cars because they think they are ‘green’.

      Smoking did not cause the surge in lung cancer. Antismoking did.


  9. I just wonder if this Headteacher put the “no smoking at the school gates” rule in in the (clearly mistaken) belief that all the parents would focus solely on that, think “Oh, that’s all right then,” and thus not disagree with any of it. It seems to be a common tactic these days to slip a little anti-smoking rule or comment or reference in somewhere in the genuine belief that this will magically make an entire article or item (or list of rules) credible and/or acceptable in its entirety.

    It’s just a thought but, as Kitler points out above, she doesn’t mention any other activities which she doesn’t want to see taking place outside the school gates and, as all the other rules apply to academic work and discipline within the school, it seems a bit of an incongruous one to put in there all on its own.

    But either way, it’s clearly not worked in this instance. Maybe people are becoming immune to the “if it’s even vaguely anti-smoking, it’s automatically acceptable” tactic at long last …


    • That’s a possibility. All her rules seem fair and reasonable to me (apart from nagging parents about smoking) and she’s not stupid. Maybe she slipped that one in so the others would be accepted.

      It has, as you say, backfired spectacularly. She’s not stupid, but she’s not much good at extrapolation either.


    • XX she doesn’t mention any other activities which she doesn’t want to see taking place outside the school gates XX

      What, like… Tennis riots? Mountain climbing? Dogging? Shabeens?

      Maybe it is because those things do not HAPPEN at the school gates.


      • Parents in pyjamas, swigging from beer cans, apparently do happen (when they’re not being banned from Tesco). But not at her school, it seems. Or maybe they do, but it’s not as much of a bad example as smoking?


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