The Collective now state that ‘all 14-year-olds watch porn in their bedrooms‘ and that their internet usage should be limited to two hours per day.
Two hours? Blimey, modern kids have far more staying power than I did when I was 14, or indeed at any point in my life. Two hours a day? You’d go blind in a month but you’d be able to sell your palm hair to wig manufacturers.
The modern kids have it easy, they don’t have to worry about making Mum’s underwear catalogue all sticky. Nor do they have to sneak in mags and find places to hide them. The porn is hidden with a quick ‘delete history’ nowadays but otherwise, nothing at all has changed. Teenagers will be interested in sex and the spirit of Mary Whitehouse will imagine that can be changed and nothing will ever change. Except the means of access to flesh-toned imagery.
Teenagers are mostly at school. They will use the internet to regurgitate the crap they are expected to believe in for homework, and they will use it for porn. Girls too – come on ladies, you are not the sweet wallflowers you pretend to be. I have cleaned your toilets and overheard your conversations. I know how vile you can get.
Limit their access to two hours a day and what will they cut back on? The porn or the serious stuff? Does that even need an answer?
Modern porn is horrible. In the seventies it was normal-sized guys with Freddie Mercury moustaches and waka-waka guitarists in the background. I have seen recent stuff and it’s all the same. Some guy with a horse dick grafted on and a girl who could accommodate a train. First the suck, then something that stretches her to the point where she could not hold a baby in for the full nine months, then up the tradesman’s entrance. Usually with a bit of slapping and spitting. Disgusting. Also he is expected to finish in her mouth which must surely account for declining birth rates. That is not how babies are made, modern teens. It is how mouth ulcers are made.
I agree that teens should not see this. Over 50, it makes me wince. Let them see the old seventies films where the guy at least knew which hole it was meant to go into, and had equipment normal men could relate to. For most male teens, watching modern porn then looking down can only lead to feelings of inadequacy. Few will be able to impress the average donkey and some will get a snort of derision from a pug. For female teens, it can only lead to unrealistic expectations. No, girls, it is not normal to have a telegraph pole with a bouncy castle on the end rammed up there. Or up there. it is not a good idea to wreck your sphincter muscles either. You’ll be sorry when you have to wear *cough* ‘roomy pants’.
We had it easy in the seventies. All we had to worry about was whether we could manage to grow the moustache and work a waa-waa pedal.
Porn, though, was always there. In my teenage years it was in print, in magazines. In ancient Rome it was in frescoes and even before that, phallic symbols abounded.
People like sex because sex is where people come from. Teenagers are just getting to the stage where they are realising this and wanting to learn more about it. That is how it has always been and how it always will be.
Limit them to two hours of internet a day and what will lose out – the schoolwork or the fingerwork?
It’s not a hard equation (fnarr) and for those Marxists who want us all turned into Borg, it is in fact an obvious next step.
It’s a sideways version of ‘dumbing down’.