Have to be up for work tomorrow so this lonely bottle of Cardhu will only get sampled tonight. £10 off in Tesco (£35 reduced to £25 – how could I resist?). Still, it’s expensive, it’s best to make it last as long as possible.
I finally got around to getting my hair cut. I look like I’ve evolved! It’s thinning on top so even when it’s long, it’s not bushy when I look in the mirror to comb it after washing it, but when the back dries it puffs out into a shrubbery. When you start to become conscious of the weight of hair on your head then it is time to visit Pretty Blonde Barber and have it shorn. Anyway, that job is at last ticked off the list and it’s a weight off my mind.
Oily Al has messed up again. If he gets independence for Scotland we’d be booted out of the EU. He acts like that’s a bad thing. If he had any sense at all, he’d realise that it’s one of the most powerful arguments for independence he could have and spun the right way, would get him a definite yes vote with a massive majority.
Also, he has to ditch Sterling and devise his own currency. The Seeyoupal, with coins counted in Jimmies, would be a great one. Don’t put John Logie Baird or McAdam on those notes, no, put one panel of an Oor Wullie cartoon on the back of each one – and make one of the panels rare. People all over the world would buy that currency just because it’s funny. Scotland could print money and get rich selling it.
More seriously, he cannot claim independence when the value of his currency is dependent on the whims of Whitehall.
Independence should be a chance for Scotland to buck the trend. To say ‘Och, awa’ an’ bile yer heid’ to all the control-freakery and Puritan self-hate now permeating the world. Instead, Oily Al wants an independent Scotland that is just the same as it would be if it was still under the UK/EU thumb. What’s the point? Independence means independence, Oily Al. Westminster is irrelevant. The EU controls all the UK so if you want to stay in that, there’s no independence at all, is there?
What happened to you Scots? Did your balls drop off under snow-covered kilts? You know, less than two miles from me is the site of the second to last land battle fought on the UK mainland. Actually, no, less than two miles away is where the first of it started. Some of it was in my back yard.
Scots used to fight for what they believed in. They had leaders who were at the front of the battle line. Now they take handouts and follow a leader who’d back out of a pub confrontation. A leader who would be turned down for a job as a used car salesaman because he doesn’t look trustworthy enough. You want independence? Go for it – but your masters are not the English. They are slaves too. Your masters are the EU and Oily Al is determined to keep you in thrall to them. He doesn’t think he is really offerning independence but that Spanish PM’s words suggest that perhaps, inadvertantly, he is.
Vote ‘Yes’ and get thrown out of the EU. The English, and many other nations, will be desperately jealous. be ready to get a new leader because Oily won’t be able to cope.
The Catalans will also be watching with interest. That Spanish PM doesn’t know what a can of worms he has just opened.
Change of subject (come on, keep up) – there is a Japanese company making life sized dolls of Lady Gaga that play music through her tits. You have to stick your face in there and try to hear above the motorboat sounds you’re making.
I don’t want one. Nothing wrong with her or her music – I think she’s pretty and can sing well, and her songs and videos are pretty damn good, it’s just not my style of music. But I do not want a room-temperature lifelike woman in my house. That is what is commonly known as a ‘corpse’. I read, a few months ago in Fortean Times (far more sensible and balanced than New Scientist), that there is an American company making extremely lifelike silicon sex dolls, which is disgusting. The more lifelike a room-temperature doll is, the more it is akin to necrophilia.
Now, if the real Lady Gaga wants to come and sing to me while I bury my face in her chest, I am very interested indeed. But a plastic one? No. I’ll stick with YouTube for the listening parts.
If you really must have a silicone corpse, at least do it properly.
Right. Sleep time. Goodnight from me, and goodnight from Cardhu. Which has mostly survived, for tonight at least.