The perfect foot-shot.

A vicar has declared that it is just silly to believe in Santa. Nobody sensible would believe in someone they cannot see and cannot prove exists, he said… and I wonder if he has even yet had that ‘uh-oh’ moment.

I know there are a few devout religious people who read this blog and you know I do not set out to offend the religious (except the really nutty ones) – not out of any sense of self-preservation or kowtowing, but because I honestly don’t care what anyone else believes in. That’s why, when atheism became a religion with meetings and devotees and high antipriests and so on, I changed my description to ‘apathist’.

If someone wants to believe that the constellation Orion is the Winter God or that the North Wind has a face or that the holiest teacup ever made was spirited away by their God and is now in orbit around Betelgeuse, all that is just fine and dandy with me. None of it troubles me at all.

However, even the most devout must surely see the wionderful irony in a vicar telling his congregation not to believe in things they can’t prove exist. As ‘shooting yourself in the foot’ incidents go, that is a bang-on centre-shot with laser sights and exploding bullets.

There are many more pictures of Santa than there are of God. On the basis of visual evidence, Santa actually has the upper hand here. Okay, I know the jolly fat Santa was invented by Coca-Cola but even so.

Religion, like Santa, is based on belief. Okay, Santa is a little different, we can trace him back to Darvell Gadarn’s usurping of the St. Nicholas legend with some surety, whereas the Judeo-Christian God’s origin is a bit less definite. There are theories but nothing absolute either way.

Still, it is all based on belief. If, like me, you don’t believe in God then nobody anywhere can offer absolute proof. To the likes of me, God is as real as Santa – not at all.

Neither is the tooth fairy. Nope. No tooth fairy. Kids pretend to believe in that one because they get money for their milk teeth, They pretend to believe in Santa because they get extra presents ‘from Santa’. Parents need not worry about the smarter kids, they’ll keep the pretence going as long as the presents and cash keep flowing.

I was very interested in the ‘gruesome tales’ attached to St. Nicholas, of course. They turned out to be about as gruesome as the Grimm fairy tales I heard as a child and which probably started the dreams that result in stories now. Hard to believe kids are now scared by such stories. The Brothers Grimm didn’t always have happy endings you know – people died in their tales and there were no saints handy to bring them back to life.

Well, anyway, I have a new story idea. A New Santa who takes umbrage at not being believed in and who takes revenge…

Also, I will laugh for days at the parent who said this –

He has been coming in for years now so who know what else he has told them – he may have even been talking to them about Satan.

Um… that’s kind of his job, you know?



16 thoughts on “The perfect foot-shot.

  1. The 1950s advert staring Ronny Raygun advising us to send all our friends the Chesterfields Xmas Card edition carton are now well known, as are the Smoking Santa cards of yesteryear.

    If I had had time and money then this year for Xmas I would have been sending out cards of my own design to all ….a design showing Santa sitting in a BIG red armchair -one with an ashtray in the arm- and smoking a cigar…discreetly. Caption? “Now then Boys and Girls, have you been good?” of course.


  2. XX Well, anyway, I have a new story idea. A New Santa who takes umbrage at not being believed in and who takes revenge…XX

    Hmm. Too late. Terry Pratchett has done very similar. “Schweinsgallop” in German. But then “Small Gods” was also along those lines.


  3. Firstly, Christmas is not Christian (if you ask me). It is a Pagan day and a lot of the ‘customs’ are Pagan. I’m all for having a couple of weeks of fairy lights and fancy food and time off work, but call it something else and choose a different day or just have a Winterval fortnight.

    Have you heard a Christian calling for ‘Winterval’ before? Because Christ was almost certainly not born on 25th December – probably in the Springtime. I think I would be offended if I’d given my all and people celebrated my birthday four months too early – and on a day for devotion to Pagan gods to boot. What an insult!

    (I’m a bit surprised that the government doesn’t have an army of santas going into people’s houses with cheap trinkets to covertly check on how the cheeeldren are being treated. I’m sure there would be plenty of volunteers from children’s homes to have hundreds of boys and girls sat on their laps, while they ask what their parents get up to.)

    But I disagree with one thing you said, Leggy. One can be fairly certain of the existence of the Almighty. Humans are totally different and above all other animals. We have all sorts of dilemmas to overcome, which no other creature has. And naff as my life has been at times, I know that there has been a guiding Hand to prevent it getting impossibly naff. You know, how things just happen in the nick of time and someone you haven’t seen in ages saves the day etc.? Plus the wisdom in scripture and the prophecies coming true for our time as in times past are evidence aplenty.

    Christ is real. Christmas is a farce. And it now starts in October (maybe earlier in other towns). Probably as another method of putting us into more debt and acting to subconsciously wind people down, as engineering deindustrialisation and debt are the two ways this country is being sabotaged for a globalist solution to ‘save’ us. Instilling in us the Romans’ ‘bread and circuses’ mindset, but with seriously wicked measures of extra control.

    Then after the One World Government (we’re nearly there, as many of our laws come from the UN before being laundered through the EU) comes the One World Religion, where some fake ‘saviour’ (maybe Santa himself?!) makes some grand entrance and 99% of the world falls for it and all the ‘atheists’ (and ‘apathists’) get on their knees and start praying to a modern day golden calf – or maybe a golden reindeer with a giant ruby for a nose. But it won’t be pulling a sleigh, it will be to aid in Agenda 21 – to slay a large part of the world’s population and ensure almost total obedience to global governance.


    • Interesting that the MSM are only interested in presenting one fixed view about SHS, despite evidence.

      Somewhat similarly, SKY News in the UK is pushing special reports on gun crime in Chicago, implying the need for gun control.
      However, what SKY News will not even mention in these reports is the existing gun control Chicago already has, and which, if they honestly linked the two, would strongly indicate ideology out of touch with real life.

      There is a sort of gallows humour to be found, I think, in a police chief threatening to have his police officers shoot law-abiding citizens who are legally entitled to carry concealed firearms.

      It makes me think of the NHS threatening not to care for ill-people who do not toe the ideological line:


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