Past the credulity horizon.

Cancer Research’s subversive response to Drinkuary is apparently on television. In summary, if you support the CRUK campaign, they want to to not drink any alcohol at all in January and send them money to prove you’re doing it. By way of contrast, if you support Drinkuary, you can drink or not-drink as you please and nobody expects any money from you.

Furthermore, the CRUK campaign is paid for through your taxes while Drinkuary costs the taxpayer nothing. The choice is yours – do you support, and send more money to, a campaign that you have already paid for, or do you reject the idea of paying arrogant, self-important people to tell you how to live? The latter is all that is required to support Drinkuary.

I have not seen the CRUK ad on TV because I don’t watch the idiot lantern, but their propaganda is all over the tabloids. As always it is hyped to such a level that it has started to collapse in on itself to form a black hole from which no intelligence can escape – assuming there was some in there to start with.

One such propaganda exercise is in the favourite paper of the loony-tunes masquerading as public health, our very own comic of carnage, the hack-rag from Hell, the Daily Mail. They are clutching their handbags to their chests in horror at the thought of five cases of teenagers being treated for booze-mushed liver in the last three years.

Five. In three years. Yes, that is enough for ‘experts to say’ that there is a teenage booze epidemic and that all the cheeeldren are going to die. There are still drones in the comments who want massive alcohol restrictions on the basis of this but more and more are noticing the ‘five in three years’ part of the story.

Some people are unable to handle alcohol because they are genetically incapable of detoxifying it. Very few people have the extreme version of this which would mean that even moderate alcohol intake would start liver damage. Unless everyone in the country is tested at birth, the only way to find out if it’s you is to drink alcohol and see if it makes you ill.

Five cases in three years is actually fewer than I would expect for this, but then most will have realised the booze hurts them and stopped drinking it. In which case, five teenagers in three years pushing it to the limit is about right. They probably didn’t even realise it was damaging them until they turned yellow, and why would they? It wasn’t damaging their mates to anywhere near the same extent, if at all.

Of course, some people don’t drink booze simply because they don’t like it. I have no problem with that. I don’t eat marzipan or tofu for the same reason. Both are the vile produce of Satan’s Kitchen of Faecal Creations in my eyes, but I have no interest in stopping anyone else eating them. Eat all the marzipan and tofu you like and if we both have a piece of Christmas cake, you can have the marzipan off mine too.

If you don’t like booze, we have the basis of a mutually beneficial trade here.

But I (unsurprisingly) digress. The point is not the article, that is the usual overhyped nonsense any normal person expects from a newspaper whose reporting is so rough you wouldn’t dare use it as toilet paper. The point is in the comments.

Fewer and fewer are falling for it than used to. The Puritan Righteous have added too much mass to their idiocy and it is now collapsing beyond the credulity horizon.

There will always be drones who lap it all up as long as you use the magic words ‘Experts have Said’ or ‘Studies have Shown’ but the stupidity they spread to others is wearing off now. There will always be enough of them to spread mad ideas and cruel jokes.

Easter is coming. According to the supermarkets it’s already here, the shelves are stocked with chocolate eggs and hollow bunnies. Local Shop had a few boxes marked ‘Creme Egg Parasite Unit’ delivered. I was disappointed to find that they are the plastic trays that attach to shelves, and not devices for inserting parasites into chocolate eggs. No matter, it only took an hour to work out how it could be done.

Last year I had a lot of fun telling people that I never eat unbroken chocolate eggs in case there’s a spider inside. This year I will tell them how parasite eggs could have been inserted into chocolate so even the broken eggs aren’t safe. Hey, I am only doing my bit to combat obesity here. Sure, I might be tasked with disposing of a lot of chocolate but everyone has to make sacrifices.

Yes, there will always be gullible drones to play with. They’ll just be a little harder to find for a few years.