Raw booze.

Sugar is the new tobacco. Poor old Dreadful Arnott and her ‘tobacco is not like any other product’ argument. Same principle for booze and burgers and now sugar.

Professor Capewell is part of a new US-UK campaign group – Action on Sugar – that says asking firms to make voluntary changes has failed.

Not ‘Action on Sugar and Health?’ Or would the acronym just be a shade too blatant even for you Righteous out there? Oh dear, Dreadful, they are even copying your vicious organisation’s name now. Still no slippery slope, eh?

Apparently caramel is now ‘hidden sugar’. Surely everyone knows how caramel is made? I mean, it’s really not a complex recipe, is it? As a place to hide sugar, it’s, well, it’s the second worst place, after a glass jar with ‘sugar’ written on it. Which is where I hide mine.

Sugar is, along with grapes and other fruits and most vegetables, nothing more than raw booze. It needs to be fermented to be properly palatable. Stop wasting it on cornflakes! In fact, stop wasting corn on cornflakes. Ferment those suckers.

Hmm…. Frosties have the corn and sugar already combined. Water and yeast…

So we can expect a new ‘sugar duty’ in the near future and once they get one food, salt will be next and then pork scratchings and crisps and then all the rest. Soon it will be uneconomical to add sugar to your homebrew. No big deal, you don’t need it in beer anyway and you can just use high-sugar fruits for wine. Press more raspberries to get more lovely sugary juice and start from there.

I have a feeling honey might well be exempt because the luvvies all use it and pretend it’s not sugar. So an explosion of mead could be on the cards. No problem, you can make a mead that isn’t teeth-rattlingly sweet.

Getr ready for brewing without refined sugar. Or stock up, but keep it thoroughly dry. Unlike salt stocks, it really does matter if sugar gets damp.

I could live without refined sugar. I don’t want to, but I could. Chocolate with no sugar would be just nasty but some people already like it that way, and chocolate is doomed anyway. All the plants are the same, genetically, so one disease and chocolate is gone. Much the same is true of wheat, only a very few variants now exist.

Sugar has alternatives. Honey is the obvious one but there are others (not aspartame, that stuff turns my arse into a power-washer that does exactly the opposite of what power-washers are meant to do). There are other natural ones. Soft fruits, sugar beet, all kinds of real sources without troubling sugar cane.

Sucrose isn’t the best thing to eat anyway. You’re set up to eat mostly glucose and fructose (fruit sugar) in season. Sucrose is glucose and fructose in equal measure. We use it because sugar cane is a quick, cheap and easy thing to get sugar from and because we like it. Still, taxing it is the idiot’s response. Which is the only response we now expect from government and the health lobby. It’s the only response we ever get.

I like sugar. I also like tobacco and booze. The latter are heavily taxed but there are ways around it for both. Perfectly legal ways.

There will be a way around sugar duty too. Start preparing now. It’s coming.

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14 thoughts on “Raw booze.

  1. Golden syrup is basically Inverted sucrose (ie it should be ideal for brewing) and:
    “The syrup, however, has not changed at all. And it is, literally, vintage stuff. When the TV chef-cumfood genius Heston Blumenthal experimented with the contents of a 70-year-old tin, he found that it tasted even better than a modern one”

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  2. That article had a list of common products and the amount of sugar they (supposedly) contain. I can imagine a Mars bar containing lots of the stuff, and obviously Frosties are Cornflakes coated with sugar, but the one which made me wonder was “Cadbury’s Drinking Chocolate made with skimmed milk”, which they claimed had no less than SIX spoonfuls. Forgive me for being thick, but how the hell does one (or even 2) spoon(s) of brown coloured powder contain 6 spoons of sugar, even if the “Chocolate” is really a concentrated flovouring? My distant memory of chemistry lessons is that evaporating a solution of sugar and water eventually leaves crystals behind, so I always assumed this meant there was no H2O left – Wiki says “Crystalline fructose consists of at least 98% pure fructose, any remainder being water and trace minerals” and “Because crystalline fructose is sweeter than the sugars it replaces, less sugar can be used to produce a desired level of sweetness”

    So what am I missing here Leggy?

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    • They take the ‘six spoons of sugar’ that’s in the entire tin and pretend it’s in every cup you make.

      Or, they fail to define ‘spoon’ and are referring to the one from the Action Man field canteen set.

      Basically, they are lying.

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      • I’ve just checked the figures while making a cup for breakfast; six spoons is (conveniently rounded up) the amount you’d find in 100g – sounds like someone did some quick research on the back of a tin and didn’t bother to scale down (though I do prefer the idea of them carefully measuring it out with Action man cutlery).

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  3. “Apparently caramel is now ‘hidden sugar’. Surely everyone knows how caramel is made? I mean, it’s really not a complex recipe, is it? As a place to hide sugar, it’s, well, it’s the second worst place, after a glass jar with ‘sugar’ written on it. Which is where I hide mine.”

    Brilliant!! It’s lines like this that make this blog so great. I think they had this professor bellend on 5Live this morning and he sounds like a right fecking twat too. Even Victoria Derbyshire, who is about as close to a product of the system as you can get was skeptical about the “new smoking” tagline.

    They also had a guy on warning about the dangers of aspartame too, I was amazed that the BBC let him on to be honest, as things go that stuff is pretty nasty shit. Anything that Donald Rumsfeld is involved in is dodgy by default.

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    • I herar terrible things about aspartame and then something pops up saying it’s all safe. It gives me the squits anyway, whether it’s okay for anyone else is another matter. I won’t touch it.

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  4. XX Professor Capewell is part of a new US-UK campaign group – Action on Sugar – that says asking firms to make voluntary changes has failed.XX

    “This morning the Fascist bastards in Brussels handed the Smokers/drinkers/Sugar eaters a
    final Note stating that, unless we heard from them by 11 o’clock that they were
    prepared at once to criminalise them all a state of war would
    exist between us.

    I have to tell you now that no such undertaking has been received, and that
    consequently this country is at war with Smokers/drinkers/Sugar eaters.”

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    • It was the first bit that got me mate about the hidden sugar in caramel. 🙂

      I don’t know anyone better than Leggy for ripping the piss out of these nannying tools stupidity, DP is also very good at it.

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