Scary thought.

I need some. I am spending far too much time not writing and have many other things I should be not doing. So, I went looking for a mad scary idea, and the Daily Mail is always a good source.

Picture the scene: an adolescent brings home his girlfriend to meet his parents, Gomez and Morticia, for the first time.

They begin with the baby photos. Standard parental embarrassment technique, revenge for all those nappies and all the times the kid, as a toddler, humiliated them in public.

“Look, here he is in the bath at one year old, playing with his… discovering his body. And aww, isn’t he sweet in the little bunny costume? And here – ”

At this point Mum opens a drawer and pulls out a box. Son’s mouth and eyes open to almost equal diameters. “Noooo…”

She opens the box. “And this is what he would have looked like if I’d had him aborted.”

Future teens are going to have a tougher time than we did in the old days.

In the horror writer’s mind, of course, the story takes a different turn because the son knows he stole and burned the plastic effigy years ago.

Must knuckle down to writing. There are things the drones must know, and I haven’t even made them up yet.

 

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18 thoughts on “Scary thought.

  1. “Picture the scene: an adolescent brings home his girlfriend to meet his parents, Gomez and Morticia, for the first time.”

    Leggy, GET OUT OF MY LIVING ROOM!!!!!

    Hmph… for the first time in probably a good 30 years, I happened to turn on my new Christmas TV last night and hit on an old episode of The Addams Family and actually sat and watched it for about 20 minutes.

    Obviously you were spying on me.

    I will herewith, forthwith, and therefore report you to the NSA and MI5. Expect a knock on your door. From Lurch.

    – MJM

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    • Heh, I just looked at the linked article. Unless the final product does a better job than what they’re showing, I think they’ll have a bit of a problem. Check out the three “baby pics” (the original, the scan, the final product) and see how accurate YOU think the representation is! Sheeesh… notice the smile on the critter on the right: where the Q did THAT come from????

      – MJM

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      • They are primitive enough to be silly but already creepy enough to be scary, and they’ll improve quickly to where you can’t tell a pickled abortion from a plastic imitation. Horror writers just need to be ahead of the game πŸ˜‰

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    • Everyone watches the Addams.

      I have a book of Charles Addams’ original cartoons somewhere in the attic. It’s probably worth a fortune now, but parting with it would be hard.

      Teachers whisky makes connections I had forgotten in the old dry days… parting is hard, parting hard, party hard… Andrew WK and the benefits culture set to music…

      Anyway, don’t worry about me in your living room. I’ll be quiet behind the couch πŸ˜‰

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  2. They should be produced en masse and passed round classes at sex “education” time to help keep legs closed and hopefully reduce the genocide of the unborn.

    A scary thought is that over 500 human beings are going to be murdered today in Britain alone, but none will make the news because, despite being unique and therefore irreplaceable, they are the unborn.and for some reason, the law permits “doctors” to kill them, almost without limit or reason.

    Sorry, but no comedic element to this posting.

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    • Stewart, the problem is that some people believe unborn babies are human beings, and some people don’t. And there’s no real way that I’ve ever seen to resolve those two beliefs in a way that will satisfy the people who believe strongly either one way or the other. If I take a male sperm cell and stick it into a female egg cell in a test tube, have I “created” a human being? If I refuse to take the two cells and combine them, am I in some sense “killing” a “potential” human being? On the other hand, if I take a woman who’s 9 months pregnant and in the delivery room, and reach inside of her while the baby’s on the way out and smash it’s head, have I *then* killed a human being?

      The problem is where you draw the line in between those extremes, and drawing that line is a matter of what a person believes… and I generally believe that one person should not have the right to force their beliefs unto another person in such fuzzy things.

      Have you seen this link?

      http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2533760/Eating-meat-bad-paedophilia-Morrissey-launches-incredible-rant-says-no-difference-abattoir-supporting-Auschwitz.html

      If you’re a meat eater, Jim Morrissey might like to see you tried and executed as if you were a pedophiliac Auschwitz guard. Do you think that would be right? It sounds like it might be what he believes. What if you use honey in your tea? Are you enslaving bees? Should you be punished for that?

      – MJM

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      • Morrissey is pure comedy gold, a never ending seam of laughs.

        Thing is, he never does. I remember student days and drunken parodies of songs such as ‘Heaven knows I’m such a miserable git’ and ‘This miserable man’.

        What a dreary and sad life he has led. Still, there’s a silver lining. He gives everyone else a laugh.

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        • Yes, Morrissey (awful singing ‘voice’) also wants the Falkland Islanders betrayed into the hands of the Argies. I will always ignore what his type say, especially when they insist that ‘Meat is Murder’ when murder is a purely human-on-human act, but it sells records, even if he does look like an idiot to the sane among us.

          Where do you draw the line on abortion? I would say at conception, where that brand new life has begun. This ‘woman’s choice’ business is propaganda.

          What “some people believe” shouldn’t really come into the equation. Meat isn’t murder. Abortion is. How many songs are there about that?

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    • I can actually see the use of them in sex education classes. A very real representation of what those teenagers see as an abstract concept that ‘won’t happen to them’. They can hold it and see for themselves that their playing around with the big people bits has consequences.

      As for abortion, I have no strong views either way – actually, in my more enraged moments I would have advocated a cull at 16, by which time it should be clear whether the nearly-adult is going to be an absolutely intolerable bastard or not. Never having been involved in abortion, nor caused anyone to even consider it, I’m not in a position to comment.

      The sex education demo foetus is, however, a very good idea indeed. It might reduce the number of teenagers who have to face that decision before it gets that far.

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      • Well, there are “experts” who are advocating the murder, sorry “post-birth abortion”, of babies and toddlers up to two years old if they show signs of disability, so slippery slopes and all that and it’s not beyond the realms of possibility – like buying cigarettes, the age limit will keep on rising.

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        • Once assisted dying becomes a legal reality (and we are being softened up for it) it will eventually be available to the angst-ridden teenager. That’s not one of my flippant comments – that’s serious. They can’t have booze or cigarettes becasue of the risk, but feeling sad and want to die? Your doctor has a pill for that.

          Then the whole abortion issue becomes a little different, I think. That pregnant teenager in despair at her condition and who would rather die than have to choose? Your doctor has a pill for that.

          The future is so dark, we might one day say that the aborted were the lucky ones.

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          • Speaking of dark futures… I’m currently reading “Flashback” by Dan Simmons. Interesting near-future sci-fi about an America (and world) totally screwed up by huge economic collapse and social dislocation aggravated by widespread use of a drug that lets you “flashback” to your best memories in life. Obviously a drug like that would have a lot of attraction for people who look back and think, “Gee, the only time I was truly happy was when… ”

            It’s a long read (about 600 pages) but its fascinating to see him extending trends and possibilities from the time he wrote it (2010/11) through today and onward to about 2030. Highly recommended! (One minor quibbling caveat: he gets a bit repetitive at times in some of his “warnings” about things to come… nothing major, but it caught my “editor’s eye” as I was reading along.)

            – MJM

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    • My leaflet dropped through my letterbox the other day. Definitely something a bit Herr Hitler about it, with over shades of nanny tells you what to do. I’ve been reading up about it. Not happy with what I’ve found. What will they do with our data????????

      Like

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