Spotted a story in one of the newspapers at work. It is, fortunately, also on the internet.

A Scottish SNP MEP called Alyn Smith (he almost has more letters after his name than in it – pity none of them mean anything) has responded to the Canadian ban on Irn Bru by insisting the EU ban Justin Beiber.

Irn Bru, for those unfamiliar with it, is a Scottish fizzy drink made out of rusty water and sugar. Putting it in whisky should be a hanging offence. It does taste nice though.

The story is thoroughly hyped. I am pretty sure (not 100%, not with modern politicians) that his remarks were at least half-joking. Banning Justin Beiber would be pointless anyway, he is currently racking up a list of serious charges in the US and is likely to be singing ‘Jailhouse Rock’ for a good few years if he keeps going.

Canada has not banned Irn Bru or Marmite or any of the other things. What they say happened was that a shipload of stuff turned up without the right paperwork for the meat part of the load, so Canada sent the whole shipment back. Irn Bru and Marmite just happened to be in the same shipment.

So there is no ban (can someone in Canada, or who knows for sure, confirm this?). The MEP has overreacted, he has apparently written Letters of Outrage to some people nobody gives a toss about and if he includeed ‘Ban Justin Beiber from the EU’ in those letters, the recipients are likely to respond ‘I thought we already had, because of the monkey incident?’

If he was joking, and I really hope he was because the alternative is that he has the mental faculties of a toddler, he should really know by now that it was a bad idea. There is no sense of humour among the Sinisters, those of the Left, and he is paid to promote their humourless world. If he is really one of the Sinisters himself then he cannot have been joking. They don’t know how.

In which case, it suddenly becomes clear why they want to reduce the voting age. They need to get it down to about five or six so that they can appeal to those whose idea of retaliation is similar to their own.

Are we really reduced to schoolyard politics? Even as a joke, it was a crass and feeble threat. What happened to the Scots?

kiltsLooks like they’ll fit into Y-fronts now.

Come on, Scots. Pull yourselves together. Stop voting for children just because they have the right colour badge.

Vote for people, not parties.




18 thoughts on “Humourless.

  1. Scottish born and bred I wonder what’s happened too, I spent half my life in Scotland, a good few years living abroad and now settled in Kent. I often watch the Scottish politics shows, it is quite worrying that the level of debate is so poor. Wonder what will happen in the referendum?


    • The referendum will determine whether Oily Al ends up a hero or a failure. Or maybe a hero, followed by failure if he wins it and then can’t work out what to do with it.

      There’s little evidence of real-world thinking about what the SNP will do if they succeed, so if they succeed, it might be a total shambles.


  2. Careful now Leggy, the lovely Alyn will be accusing you of abuse. Anyone who is likely to support independence receives that accolade from him. 😀


  3. Vote for people not parties but when the ‘people’ seeking a vote are infantile minded three year olds what is the point?
    The government always wins, even a government that should go to be early and take afternoon naps.


    • If people stopped voting for the rosette and took a lok at who they are actually voting for, they might pick someone worthwhile. Although they’d probably still pick a donkey with a rosette on it.


    • Vegemite? VEGEMITE? You mean that tasteless substandard substitute for the real thing that they produce down under because they’re too tight to pay the shipping costs of proper marmite?

      …hang on, can you ferment it?

      Sure you can. The Germans do. It’s called Jagermeister.

      (I’ll just nip out and get my bomb disposal suit on before the flak starts flying… :¬D)


    • Marmite is only fit as a fracking additive any way, Vegemite rules…hang on, can you ferment it ?

      Apparently so.

      Exclusive: Scots cons getting drunk on home-made Marmite hooch – 2009

      “Prison inmates are knocking back jars of home-made hooch – made with Marmite.
      The savoury spread is in big demand to make an illicit alcohol dubbed a Marmite Mule because of its powerful kick.
      The secret brewing is going on at privately run Addiewell Prison, Scotland’s newest jail, sources revealed yesterday.

      One insider said: “I’ve never been a fan of any kind of prison hooch as they all taste horrible, but the Marmite Mule certainly does the job.”
      The yeast in the Marmite starts the fermentation process when it is added to fruit, veg, bread and water.
      The source said: “It’s not rocket science to make, all you need is something which will ferment, and the time to let nature take its course – both of which there is plenty of in prison.

      “The longer you can leave it, the stronger it gets.”

      The brew is left to ferment over a couple of weeks in old soft drink bottles or plastic bags before it is strained – using an old T-shirt or sock – to remove the remains of the fruit and veg.
      The source added:

      *”The yeast in the Marmite starts the process of turning the sugars in the fruit into alcohol.
      “You need to keep an eye on your brew though and let gases escape which are given off during the fermentation process.

      “Inmates are pretty good at making the hooch because they’ve had a lot of practice.”

      Prisoners banned from having fruit after using it to make alcohol – 2009

      “Prisoners have been banned from buying fruit to stop them from making homebrew following a rise in assaults.

      * A Prison Service spokesman said:“The ingredients for Marmite do not include any active yeast and as such it is impossible to use Marmite in the production of alcoholic beverages.

      “Attempts to make alcoholic liquid are in contravention of Prison Service rules and regulations. Staff at HMP Dartmoor, as at other prisons, search prisoners’ areas regularly. If hooch is found this is dealt with through internal disciplinary procedures.”

      * The live yeast should be on the fruit or in the air.


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