Waterworld.

I liked that film. The Smokers were the bad guys but they had an endless supply of tobacco in a world with little to no soil to grow it in. They also owned all of the oil on the planet and were the only ones not living a Middle Ages lifestyle. Thus proving that smokers are almost miraculously resourceful.

I also liked Prometheus. Not the greatest in literary terms, a few silly plot holes (the aliens weren’t trying to destroy humanity, they were trying to contain a bioweapon that had gone wild and were looking for help). Still, an enjoyable space romp with smoking allowed on board and a ship well stocked with booze. But this is all beside the point.

The weather here in the north of Scotland is hovering around the freezing mark. It was just below today, but not by much. This is perfectly normal for February, I’m just glad there’s no snow. In all, so far, it has been one of the milder winters. The only real downside is that it usually means a shitty summer.

There has been a hell of a lot of rain and wind though. I’m lucky I live halfway up a hill. Those nice riverside properties are looking less attractive by the day, and the mountain snow hasn’t melted into the rivers yet. Even so, no major floods, no massive wind damage aside from a few trees down here and there, and no reports of railways or roads falling into the sea.

Large parts of the US seem to be entering an ice age. So are parts of Europe. All those anti-warming taxes are definitely working then. Vlad the Inhaler should have imposed big green taxes on the site of the Winter Olympics to encourage snow. He doesn’t have any. He’ll have the warmest Winter Olympics ever. The most popular event will be synchronised dumping – at least he has the paired toilets already in place. Strange that he is so anti-gay and yet builds loads of rooms where men can take their trousers down together. Just picture Julian Clary saying ‘Someone’s in the closet…” Actually two someones, in the same water closet. Perhaps it’s the Olympic cottaging event? Seriously, when your name is Put-in, you really have to stay away from anything involving any kind of sexual innuendo. Does anyone else think the word ‘innuendo’ could be construed as an innuendo, or is it just the Italian genes speaking (and waving their little hands about)?

In the south of the UK, there is much more weather than up here. Much more weather than anyone really needs. Large parts of the country are entirely submerged. That has nothing to do with global warming, the pet project of the next King Charles who is going to cause what the first one did because he’s just as barmy. It is due to a band of idiots who think they know best.

Yep. Government. Specifically, the Environment Agency who believe the best way to protect ground-dwelling wildlife and ground-nesting birds is to not dredge rivers and thereby drown the lot. Because it is Evil to kill a few badgers by shooting at them but Green to kill the entire population with a flood. If only they had taught the badgers about the Ark.

But then they don’t even tell children where the Ark story comes from any more, so what chance did the badgers have?

Apparently the solution to the flooding is to charge the rich more for flood insurance but not pay out when they get flooded, because their houses cost too much. So… they think these rich people will pay huge premiums for insurance that won’t pay out if they ever need it? It will be enforced. Kray Twins plc is not only still in business, it’s now in charge.

I always thought I was unfortunate to always live in places that were lumpy, and that it would be so much easier to get around on flat land. It turns out I’ve been very lucky because I’ve never lived anywhere that was flooded. The worst I’ve ever had to contend with was damp.

Cameron says his rapid response team, Cobra, is working flat out even though there is little sign of activity. That’s because he called it after a reptile. Reptiles perceive time depending on temperature. When it’s cold, they operate at a much slower pace of time than the warm-blooded world. They might think they are acting in a matter of hours but to the outside world, they are hardly moving for months. Perhaps he should have called it after a different reptile. Slow-worm, maybe.

Meanwhile, in Northamptonshire, your elected superiors once again demonstrate their wisdom in spending your money

No wonder they won’t let us have guns.

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30 thoughts on “Waterworld.

  1. As for Charlie boy he can say what he likes as he has no power to raise taxes in pursuit of a supposed loony agenda. Unlike Chas I he is unlikely to lose his head. Perhaps he has lost it already. As for the Ark: I think it is great kids no longer have to fill their heads with religious bollocks. As long as they fill it with ‘good science’ I’ll be happy. Alas, many fill their heads with nowt. After watching the debate between Bill Nye and Ken Ham with regard Creationism vs Evolution I am starting to despair of the American school system. How any intelligent person can truly believe that ‘creationism’ should be on the biology curriculum is beyond comprehension. Luckily American academics are starting to rally and rail against this blatant nonsense. Please believe what you like, that is your right. But trying to interweave theology with science- now that is something that should be vehemently resisted.

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    • I’ve just left this comment on Frank Davis’s site, where his latest post is entitled, “Destroying the Reputation of Science”. I wrote:

      Once the masses wake up to the fraud of evolution theory as well then what for ‘science.? Of course, Creation science is ignored by the media as much as the evidence which shows SHS is not a danger and that the case for manmade climate change is overstated (to say the least).

      But this smoke-free, post-industrial, depopulated world being manufactured relies totally on Marxist-Leninist ‘ideals’ and Lenin said, “Our programme necessarily involves the propaganda of atheism”.

      I believed in evolution theory until I was 41. How could you not when you’re only ever presented with one side of the story? It was only when one of those foundation schools with a ‘Christian ethos’ started teaching Creation science and there was a backlash in the media that I decided to look into it. And the more that I have looked over the past nine years, the more I see how I was fooled.

      The science behind evolution theory is as wobbly as that behind manmade climate change and SHS.

      In fact, just about everything has become politicised, like most of the medical profession, from ‘family planning’ to psychiatry, the police and judiciary and the ‘entertainment’ industry hastening in the Brave New World by repeating lies, glorifying abnormality and infantilisation.

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      • Stewart: You are entitled to your views. But just to be clear: ‘Creationism science’- this is not science. Putting the word science after creationism doesn’t make it so. It is theology. You could argue that it is a hypothesis. But from there it makes no sound progression into scientific thought. Evolution as a theory has stood for 150 years, and until replaced with a better theory, most elegantly explains biological systems, As a professional biologist (geneticist) I accept evolution as the best model for explaining our world of living things, to do otherwise would be an exercise in intellectual madness.

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          • “those who don’t believe in God call it ‘intelligent design’ ”

            I’d heard of this but never really thought much about it until you put it in those terms.

            Somehow, something doesn’t seem quite right about the reasoning.

            Intelligence, as the term is normally used in English, pretty much demands a “being” of some sort to possess and use that intelligence. Quite aside from old men with long beards or blue-skinned cuties with 8 arms, any such “being” that’s “designing” things would pretty much fill the role of a “God.”

            For my own part, I’m a moderately strong theist, although I’m also intellectually honest in simply saying “I have no way of REALLY knowing.” The reason for the “moderately strong” bent toward theism — there’s simply no way, in any understanding I have of the universe, that anything WITHIN the universe could have brought it about: Hawking’s “timeless singularity” sounds like poppycock to me… more of a fancy way of saying “I dunno.” than simply saying “I dunno.” even if, mathematically, it all seems to fit properly. Steady state theory also doesn’t work real well: it’s still “the universe” and within the universe things have causes, effects, befores, and afters.

            Sooooo…. the only *logical* explanation seems to be that there’s something OUTSIDE the universe, something that simply doesn’t operate in any way that we (at least at present) are capable of understanding, which created (or started or imagined or whatever) it into existence. That “something” fulfills the essential role of “God.” I might happen to believe that there’s some sort of personal element to that “God” — something that maybe cares about me in some form and that I might get to know better after I stop breathing so much — but that’s purely an extra belief tacked on to the more fundamental belief that there has to be *something* out there in that “God” role that we do not at present time have any grasp of.

            My…. this thread has certainly gotten rather lofty, now ain’t it?

            :>
            MJM

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          • XX Stewart Cowan on February 8, 2014 at 8:33 pm said:
            You clearly have no idea about which you speak, Flaxen. It is very much science. Creation science oozes science and those who don’t believe in God call it ‘intelligent design’ because it oozes science. XX

            Prove it.

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            • Actually I don’t have to prove creationism. If you believe it then the onus of proof is on you. I don’t believe in fairies either. Let the ‘fairy believers’ show me they exist. Creationism and ‘intelligent’ design are not science- that is a fact.

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              • Mention ‘fairies’ and you lose. Conversation over. You’re too far gone, methinks. Pavlovian response = seen it too many times in Dawkins’ ignorant hordes. You know zero about science so resort to ‘fairies’ and FSM, etc. Boring and predicable. Seen it all a thousand times.

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            • @Furor – I’ve written several pieces on my blog. Now you prove that we evolved from pond slime via the most miraculous series of totally random genetic mutations. Even reading that sounds too stupid to be true. And I believe that it is.

              @MJM – I think that ‘intelligent design’ is a strange compromise by ‘atheists’. Some believe we may have been seeded by aliens, but who created the aliens?

              From Dawkins we learn that those considered brainy can be completely clueless. Just because they have distinguished grey hair and a posh accent and ‘teach’ at Oxford gives the illusion that they must be intelligent.

              And Dawkins says the ‘right’ things to encourage the sleeping army of the ungodly to rouse from their metaphorical coffins and hate anything religious, equating it with suicide bombers and the like as he’s programmed them.

              One thing I would say is that we have this life to work it out – while we are still breathing!

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              • Stewart, I don’t think there is much point in pursing this. It is clear to me you know nowt about science or the scientific method. I do. It is my job. I’m always willing to debate with folk who put forward coherently argued viewpoints, even if it is in disagreement with which I hold to be ‘true.’ I am also willing to admit I’m wrong given compelling evidence and even to change my world view. Creationism/intelligent design is NOT science and has no place on any science curriculum. Science should be a journey in the pursuit of new knowledge. Theology has already completed the journey and has gained ‘knowledge’ without even taken the first step. Religion has always peddled inferior intellectual goods and this is why all religions are anti-intellectual. When religion had the power, it repressed science and free thinkers, by force. My hope is that one day all religions will disappear because people will be educated enough to see the inherent absurdity of believing in supernatural deities. Let us believe in the real world- this should be enough. Relish life now, because this is all you get. Smoke, drink and be merry and hope you don’t die in pain.

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  2. “Seriously, when your name is Put-in, you really have to stay away from anything involving any kind of sexual innuendo. Does anyone else think the word ‘innuendo’ could be construed as an innuendo, ”

    Only you Leg. Only you!

    Flaxen, re Creationism, I’d tend to agree, but… modern cosmological AstroPhysics doesn’t much beyond it. I was just listening to a wonderful explanation of “things” by Stephen Hawking. All about black holes and big bangs, and it was flowing along nicely for me until they got to the point of the singularity that had no time and then had a Big Bang. And since there was no time before then, there’s no before then and therefore no need to even look over in that direction so just move along nicely folks… Somehow that just fit well with my concepts of what “science” and “understanding” are all about.

    Of course I’ve spent most of my life living in a box with a nasty zombie cat called Schroedinger, so who am I to pontificate?

    :>
    MJM

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      • “Mister M. When last you looked was the cat alive or dead? ”

        It’s hard to say…

        Actually, I had a wonderful Burmese cat for a while. My brother gave him to me because he insisted on hunting and trying to kill all the other cats in my brother’s house (They’re an 8-cat family: two for each human.)

        I had not other cats for him to kill so he took to assiduously hunting mice.

        He never played with them: wait, stalk, pounce, then crunch their head in his jaws.

        At that point he’d bring to over to me, lay them on the floor, purr for a bit while nosing the bodies … and then proceed to “massage” their skulls with his jaws for a while before finally, delicately, opening up the tops and lapping out the brains.

        He’d leave the rest for me, but he was quite insistent upon devouring those brains.

        True story btw!

        Most amazing kitty I ever had! His name was Buster!

        🙂
        MJM

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  3. ‘Chris Smith is a coward, a little git and I’ll flush his head down the loo’
    http: //www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2553474/UK-weather-Locals-flee-rising-waters-ghost-villages-left-behind.html

    Words I can only applaud and agree with.

    It seems that the shifty Lord Smith has been quietly following the policy of his predecessors in turning Glastonbury back into the Isle of Avalon again.
    A romantic idea, but if you intend to do it its only fair to pay proper compensation to the people who live there rather than slowly flooding them out.

    I thought the Somerset Levels were looking unusually wet when I went drove past them last spring.

    “The root cause goes back 18 years to when responsibility for keeping the Somerset Levels — including a fifth of the county’s farmland — drained and managed was handed over to a new government body, the Environment Agency. And one of its first decisions was to abandon the regular dredging of the four main rivers that for centuries have carried the floodwater, which hits the Levels every winter, safely away to the sea.”

    “But the agency’s argument was not simply that to carry on dredging was too expensive. After a Labour peer, Baroness (Barbara) Young of Old Scone was put in to run it in 2000, she and her officials decided on a new priority.
    Instead of managing the Levels as farmland, large parts of them should be allowed to return to being a swampy wilderness as nature reserves for birds and other wildlife.

    As Baroness Young famously once observed: ‘I’d like to see a limpet mine put on every pumping station.’
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-2547732/CHRISTOPHER-BOOKER-Its-deluded-greens-whove-left-Somerset-neighbours-10ft-water.html

    24 January 2014
    Wildlife charities express concern over dredging plans for Somerset Levels

    The RSPB and the Somerset Wildlife Trust are calling on MPs and others to press government and its agencies to develop a water management strategy for a more flood-resilient future on the Somerset Levels that benefits both people and wildlife. However, the charities have also expressed concern over calls for dredging to address the issue.

    “In addition, because large parts of the Levels are wildlife rich, and we have yet to see guarantees that nature will be secured in both any dredge and then any subsequent water management operations, we have to see these concerns overcome.”
    http: //waterbriefing.org/home/flooding/item/8636-wildlife-charities-express-concern-over-dredging-plans-for-somerset-levels

    Fund Somerset Levels dredging or face “catastrophe”, Government warned
    January 24, 2014
    “The Government has been urged to urgently fund dredging of rivers on the Somerset Levels to avoid future “catastrophic” floods.

    MPs this week warned a huge area of Somerset was “drowning” and blamed the Environment Agency for not dredging rivers, particularly the Parrett and the Tone, which are blocked by silt build-ups.

    But the heavily-criticised quango is reluctant to dredge against warnings from conservation groups it will destroy wildlife habitats.”
    http: //www.westernmorningnews.co.uk/Fund-Somerset-Levels-dredging-face-catastrophe/story-20495801-detail/story.html

    I expect the wildlife are mostly dead by now.

    ‘Somerset flooding was EU plan all along’
    http://www.centralsomersetgazette.co.uk/Somerset-flooding-EU-plan/story-20556464-detail/story.html

    The men who sank Somerset

    “Most floods are an act of nature. This one belongs to the Environment Agency

    From 2000 onwards, under the leadership of a Labour peeress, Baroness Young of Old Scone, this reluctance to dredge and to maintain the pumping stations became a deliberate ideology, designed to give priority to the interests of ‘habitat’ and ‘biodiversity’ over those of protecting the Levels as farmland. Lady Young is famously said to have remarked that she wanted to see ‘a limpet mine attached to every pumping station’.

    The undredged rivers gradually become clogged with silt, drastically reducing their ability to take floodwater away.

    The Somerset farmers and engineers who run the local ‘drainage boards’, responsible for cleaning the ditches or ‘rhynes’, also found that the Environment Agency was forever on their backs, imposing every kind of restriction on what needed to be done; such as how they could dispose of the resulting silt and vegetation, now classified as rigorously ‘controlled waste’.”
    http: //www.spectator.co.uk/the-week/leading-article/9131442/floods-of-incompetence/

    Presumably they were hoping that people would very slowly begin to move away by themselves as the swamp began to return.

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    • Well said and presented Rose. Friends of mine live in Roman Way in Glastonbury. When looking out of their lounge window when having dinner, to the left you can see the Tor and the ant like tourists flogging up and down it. Straight ahead are the levels and the river Parret. We used to like to take a walk on the levels with the bonkers dog after dinner, you can’t do that now it is an inland sea. This has been done deliberately by EU dicktat. And all the “wildlife” they sought to preserve has bleedin drowned!
      There was a question on Any Questions today… How far should we let nature just take its course? Well I’m not a Dutchman, but in this instance I think we should ask one, because without intensive flood management Holland would largely cease to exist.

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      • Rab, apparently there have been offers from the Dutch to dredge the levels at a price cheaper than the Environment Agency quoted, I heard with considerable relief that Eric Pickles intended to accept. I hope it’s true, we most likely have lost 18 years of experience and the right equipment for the area.

        From what I’ve been reading on various comment threads the farmers are no longer allowed to do it themselves because of heavy fines and that the silt that used to be spread on the land to fertilise it is now classed as controlled waste that either has to be taken away or left on the edge so that when it floods it just washes back into the water.

        Dutch engineers could be called in to sort out Somerset Levels flooding
        http://www.telegraph.co.uk/topics/weather/10611111/Dutch-engineers-could-be-called-in-to-sort-out-Somerset-Levels-flooding.html

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        • Funnily enough one of the most comprehensive experiments in restoring what some perceive to be an immediate post Ice Age habitat has taken place in Holland, on land reclaimed from the sea. Seems those wacky guys at the EA decided to do it the other way round.

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  4. There is a lesson in this sorry affair for Government, I think. You set up a quango called “Environment Agency” and it immediately fills up with environmentalists demanding that the Government does X, Y, Z. You set up one called “Public Health England” and it immediately fills up with prohibitionists demanding A, B, C. Etc, Etc.
    Obvious lesson?

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  5. A comment from rom your Mail “Bible story link.

    XX tommcnally, London, United Kingdom, 8 hours ago

    The reason Church attendance is in decline is simply people are becoming better educated, and finding themselves able to draw a distinction between myth and fact. XX

    When those same twats believe in “Global warming” and second hand cigarettes smoke???”

    You taking the PISS or what, McNally?

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  6. Re. councils making stupid decisions (far more stupid than hamster-care tuition), the electorate will vote in the same councillors and parties at the next election, so most of these angry people writing in the Mail are hypocrites as their decision for whom to vote could be considered more stupid than anything their councils have done, even if they run courses for blind people to learn to become bus drivers under equality legislation.

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