The leech doctors are back.

Well, the idiots in government have gone ahead and done it. They have banned smoking in cars with children. It is unenforceable – of course it is, it’s meant to be. Give them a few weeks and they will ‘solve’ this ‘problem’ by banning smoking in all cars. Then they will ban smoking in homes infested with infants. Also unenforceable – so the solution will apply again.

This is based on modern ‘science’ which, in that same day’s paper, also declares that global warming is hiding under the sea, that children conceived on Valentine’s Day are less likely to get multiple sclerosis, and that smoking in America will become extinct – because more teens now use marijuana than tobacco. Um… that’s also smoking. It contains all the same chemicals apart from nicotine – which is the harmless one!

My favourite is in the comments to the story that smoking causes breast cancer. It’s a response to one of the worst-rated comments. He’s right, there is only one way to get a carcinogen from the lungs to the boobs…

Bishop, London, 3 hours ago
Women that smoke are repulsive.

Grandpa Broon, Auchenshoogle, United Kingdom, 2 hours ago
Not nearly half as much as Holier Than Thous. If this were the case, it would mean than carcinogens became blood born and they would be forced to stop taking blood from smokers. The minute that is suggested, I bet they come up with a different result.

Wonderful. If smoking really causes any cancer in any part of the body not directly exposed to the smoke, it must mean that the carcinogens are in the blood. So if you get a blood transfusion from a smoker, you are going to die. That will bear repeating every time smoking gets blamed for something non-respiratory.

The NHS must therefore, with immediate effect, refuse blood donations from anyone who smokes, and from anyone who had so much as a whiff of passive smoke on the way to the clinic. Failure to do this leaves them open to legal action by the recipient of the tainted blood and the case is proved by the NHS’s own propaganda.

I wonder if the Blood of Smoky Death also affects leeches. Since modern medicine has now regressed to the Middle Ages, we might soon find out.

If you have a headache and your doctor suggests ‘trepanning’, decline. It’s not a pill.

There are at least 376 idiots in Wastemonster who believe all of this, you know. I wonder if we can get them to ban blood donations and organ transplants from smokers?

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31 thoughts on “The leech doctors are back.

    • I gave up on blood donation a long time back and plan to burn out every organ before I die.

      When they open me up, my liver will have an expiry date seared into it with alcohol. Last week.

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  1. http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/will-a-nicotine-patch-make-you-smarter-excerpt/

    I read through dozens of human and animal studies published over the past five years showing that nicotine—freed of its noxious host, tobacco, and delivered instead by chewing gum or transdermal patch—may prove to be a weirdly, improbably effective cognitive enhancer and treatment for relieving or preventing a variety of neurological disorders, including Parkinson’s, mild cognitive impairment, ADHD, Tourette’s, and schizophrenia. Plus it has long been associated with weight loss. With few known safety risks.

    Nicotine? Yes, nicotine.

    In fact—and this is where the irony gets mad deep—the one purpose for which nicotine patches have proven futile is the very same one for which they are approved by the Food and Drug Administration, sold by pharmacies over the counter, bought by consumers, and covered by many state Medicaid programs: quitting smoking.

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    • If they sold nicotine patches as an aid to concentration or as a means to control a range of disorders they’d make an absolute fortune – but they dare not. The Pharmers have allied themselves with the morons who believe that adding nicotinic acid to bread could get people addicted to smoking. The most mentally ill of all. There’s no way back now.

      All they have is a failed product that could sell massively if only they were able to point out that it’s not the nicotine that does any harm, and it’s not the addictive component (if there even is one, which I don’t believe) in tobacco.

      It could have been another Viagra-style success story but they can’t do it. Their anti-tobacco controllers would crucify them with their own money.

      Ha ha ha.

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      • it’s not the addictive component

        Studies of nicotine in humans with Parkinson’s are now under way, supported by the Michael J. Fox Foundation.

        Other research suggests the drug may protect against the early stages of Alzheimer’s disease. A study involving sixty-seven people with mild cognitive impairment, in which memory is slightly impaired but decision-making and other cognitive abilities remain within normal levels, found “significant nicotine-associated improvements in attention, memory, and psychomotor speed,” with excellent safety and tolerability.

        “What we saw was consistent with prior studies showing that nicotinic stimulation in the short run can improve memory, attention, and speed,” said Newhouse, who led the study.

        As Newhouse sees it, “Obviously the results of small studies often aren’t replicated in larger studies, but at least nicotine certainly looks safe. And we’ve seen absolutely no withdrawal symptoms. There doesn’t seem to be any abuse liability whatsoever in taking nicotine by patch in nonsmokers. That’s reassuring.”

        That’s not reassuring: it’s totally bizarre. Nicotine has routinely been described in news accounts as among the most addictive substances known. As the New York Times Magazine famously put it in 1987, “nicotine is as addictive as heroin, cocaine or amphetamines, and for most people more addictive than alcohol.”

        But that’s just wrong. Tobacco may well be as addictive as heroin, crack, alcohol, and Cherry Garcia combined into one giant crazy sundae. But as laboratory scientists know, getting mice or other animals hooked on nicotine all by its lonesome is dauntingly difficult.

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        • Nicotine isn’t addictive, which is why nicotine patches don’t work even for those who believe they are addicted to nicotine.

          Electrofag does work as an alternative for many people and it contains none of the original tobacco chemicals – except nicotine. Which isn’t addictive.

          Smoking isn’t addictive. It’s just enjoyable.

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  2. I would very much like to donate my body parts when I die because I want to help people. Problem is I daren’t allow the doctors to know this because I genuinely fear that in a life/death situation they will see more reward in harvesting me than saving me. From each according to his organs to all according to how much money we can make, that’s how I see doctors.

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  3. Oh and another thing. Why is it that you can’t put a cigarette in your mouth till you are 18 but Rev. Flowers can shove his cock in there from 16 onwards?

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  4. Oh and another thing. Why is it that you can’t put a cigarette in your mouth till you are 18 but Rev. Flowers can shove his cock in there from 16 onwards?

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  5. Pingback: The Leech Doctors are Back | VapeHalla! | Scoop.it

    • The depressing thing is, despite nobody ever meeting a child with health issues caused by their parents’ smoking, many people believe its an epidemic. Its the same with the rain, I know so many people who parrot the global warming, worst since records began shit even though we live in Wales where it has always bloody rained for weeks, sometimes months on end. But the propagandists are geniuses at getting people to erase all memory of their entire life experiences. The sad truth is, they know their critics will tire of arguing and just give up because for ever one of us there are a 1000 new believers created every day. We won the argument but they are winning the war.

      On a more positive note, Pontypridd council, despite being Labour, actually sorted out all our flood hotspots and for the first time in history we have had ZERO flooding. As much as I dislike Labour, credit should always be given for a job well done, and they have done a fantastic job.

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  6. “… smoking in America will become extinct – because more teens now use marijuana than tobacco. Um… that’s also smoking. It contains all the same chemicals apart from nicotine – which is the harmless one!”

    Most will get the nicotine too, as it’s commonplace to use tobacco as a filler. Otherwise it tends to go out and is too strong. Many people find the experience much less pleasurable without the additional stimulating effect of nicotine.

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    • As someone who smokes a mix of the two very often I agree. Cannabis without tobacco is too heady and doesn’t smoke well. Tobacco without cannabis is too chesty and doesn’t get you high. It’s like god made them to go together. In fact, I’m sure the American Indians used to smoke all kinds of mixtures of anything that burned, and it was a European thing to just focus on smoking one weed exclusively.

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      • Certainly in the UK most cannabis smokers mix it with tobacco, almost universally if smoked in a “joint” (i.e. cigarette). This has to be the case where the cannabis is bought as resin, i.e. a block with texture and appearance somewhere between an OXO cube and soap, as only a small quantity is crumbled off and needs to be mixed with something to be smokeable in a cigarette. If in its natural plant form (“bud”) it can be smoked unmixed but doesn’t tend to burn very well unless smoked in a pipe or bong.

        So yes, for the most part the supposed “switch” is an illusion. There are some users who are either purists or born-again anti-tobacco zealots who will smoke it on its own but they are in the minority. Most social users will smoke it either way, depending on the smoking apparatus available in the setting at the time.

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  7. For fun and games, whilst smoking in cars is still legal, whereas smoking in a car with a child is not: purchase a baby doll and a child safety seat (really cheap second-hand one will do because it is not needed for restraint). Light up. Do gooders and constabulary alike will be after you in no time at all. Non-smokers against this interference can even help the cause using a fake cigarette.
    It take enough non-compliance for this type of interference to fall flat.

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    • Be careful though… they’re after banning e-cigs partly because they “look like smoking”. How long before they issue you a ticket anyway because “it looked like a child”?

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