No Smoky-Drinky this weekend. One of the Secret Ninja Cleaners has left us, so we are all working extra time again until we find a replacement. I have drawn the early shift on Sunday so will be retiring early tomorrow night, soberish. Well, it’s good news for the bank balance for a while but no holidays and permanent knackeredness is the order for the forseeable future.
We don’t pay enough to attract people who can earn more for doing nothing, and I don’t blame them. If I could bear to have nasty, filthy, screaming crap-machines around the place I could also sink into the quagmire of bennies.
No I couldn’t. The housebound inactivity would drive me insane.
Still, I don’t blame the benefits tourists. If someone said “Hey look – free house, free money, you don’t have to do a thing and we’ll protect your ‘culture’ too, innit?” who wouldn’t be tempted? Especially those who currently live in a shithole full of people who hate them. I don’t blame them for taking advantage of a bunch of morons willing to give them everything for free. I blame the morons.
But this is getting into downer mode again. It’s time to wish everyone Happy VD. I hope you are enjoying / have all enjoyed your VD, depending on your time zone? It’s the day when lovers share their VD in intimate circumstances.
Ahem. Valentine’s Day. You filthy minded pervs.
Don’t scratch. You’ll just make it worse.
Anyway, it’s too late for the UK but you rebel colonists in the USA can still prepare a wonderful VD meal for the one with a special place in your
Here you go. A couple of recipes for you. Don’t overcook this one, it can turn into rubber if you do. Healthy, low-fat (unless it’s from a permanently pissed or seriously obese ox) and sliced into delicate nibbles, they won’t know what it is until you tell them – while holding a bucket in front of them. Just in case.
In the spirit of this romantic occasion, I also suggest a little ditty you can play in the background during dinner. Happy VD, everyone!
Don’t forget to sing along with the chorus –
And anterior uveitis