At least, not openly.
A woman was fined for littering, for dropping a cigarette end out of her car window. She refused to pay the fixed penalty notice and the courts increased her fine to a total of just over £1000.
Now, I don’t consider littering an actual crime. It’s unsociable and unpleasant but in a country where thugs can kick the shit out of you in public and where we are seeing more and more drive-by shootings (how’s that handgun ban working out, Righteous?), you would think that the police would be far too busy to bother about the odd dog-end in the road.
There could be an argument of ‘fire risk’ – in one of those hot dry summers back when global warming didn’t seem quite such the load of utter bollocks it evidently is now – but the whole country is soaked through at the moment. You’d be hard pressed to set fire to woodlands with a blowtorch, never mind a cigarette.
The thing is, she was never going to win this. Smokers are legitimate whipping boys now. Anything a smoker does is magnified way over what a feral scrote does. They can throw empty Red Stripe cans all over the park with impunity but you drop a cigarette end and you’re pounced on.
If it goes to court, you are not going to win. The courts are corrupt anyway, and if they have a sniff of money they will take all they can from you. It doesn’t even matter if you are guilty or not, they just want your money. If you are one of the hated groups they will also want to make an example of you. In that case, it doesn’t even matter if you have broken any laws. They’ll just make something up.
To be clear – I do not condone the throwing of anything from cars. Seeing grass verges covered with cans and wrappers is disgusting. The least disgusting thing in there is in fact a cigarette end. Made from cellulose and soaked in insecticide, it’s actually a good thing to have there. It also disappears easily into the grass.
This is not true –
Jonquil Maudlin, council neighbourhood enforcement manager, said: ‘People should be aware that cigarette ends are just as much litter as anything else, and they take a long time to biodegrade, as they are made not of paper, but of plastic filament.
‘They are full of toxic chemicals and it has been found that many have been found in the stomachs of fish, birds and other animals who mistake them for food.’
They are not made of plastic. They biodegrade. The reason you see them every day on the street is that smokers are forced out there every day. If they did not degrade you would be wading through them by now.
Animals are not stupid. They do not ‘mistake things for food’. Why do you think we take so much care over constructing fishing flies? We make them look like food. I have a couple of cranefly imitations that look incredibly realistic – and even with wet flies that look like insects or little fish, if you don’t move them just right in the water they will be ignored. Oh, if only I could just jab a fag-end on my hook and throw it out there. It won’t work.
Some birds use cigarette ends in their nests because they deter mites. Some animals have found that tobacco has antihelminthic properties – if they eat some, it clears out the worms.
Finally, if they are so deadly, why are the antis not stepping over dead smokers in the streets? They never seem to have an answer for that one.
But let’s go back and look at what we are up against.
Jonquil Maudlin, council neighbourhood enforcement manager,
That name is straight out of Gormenghast, the title is straight from the Stasi. A neighbourhood enforcement manager? Really? Evidently the position does not require even a modicum of intelligence or even the capability for rational thought – but then how many council-operated positions do, nowadays? Increasingly it seems that councils have taken over from asylums as a place to keep the loonies.
You cannot win against these people. Not by fighting on their terms because their terms are so heavily skewed, the courts so deeply corrupted, that fighting on their ground is like turning up to a modern battle dressed as a Celt. The only sensible response to being accosted by high-vis dicks with attitude is just pay the £75 fine and let them think you are compliant.
Then go home, shred some more duty-free home-grown leaf and make some more cigarettes while sipping on homebrew.
If they think you are compliant they leave you alone. If they think you are a problem they will stamp on you. If you try to fight, it will cost you a grand and they’ll be watching you from then on for any trivial little infraction they can use to get more money out of you. Be under no illusion, the courts are there to collect money, not to dispense justice. Crimes that don’t involve money are hardly worth their time and people with no money just get a slap on the wrist.
If, like Nisakiman and now Jay, you can get the hell out of this ridiculous country, then now would be a good time. I do not have the means to leave… and I don’t want to.
I am not going to be leading any revolution. Ninety percent of the people of this country are not worth saving anyway and they will do nothing to help themselves. They will work their fingers to the bone to pay as much tax as the government can waste and like Winston’s neighbour in ‘1984’, they will be proud of their children for denouncing them as thought criminals. No, I won’t lead them. Let them sink into the mire of their own self-abuse.
But I want to watch it happen. I want to be here to revel in their pain. They hate me for no oither reason than I choose not to live as they do, so I want to see their faces when they realise that those they support hate them too. Still I will not help them. When they are teetering on the edge of despair, I will push, not pull.
Standing on corners shouting into megaphones will only get you beaten by the Gestapo. It will get you denounced as ‘right-wing’ by the Daily Mail who will not see the irony. The Guardian will demand your immediate arrest and conviction for ‘dreaming different dreams’. This is not a fight that can be won by squaring off to Queensbury rules. In order to win, you have to lose.
My choice is to make no more money than I actually need. Never again will I pay higher rate tax. Never. I will not work that hard. The economy? Screw it. I don’t care about it. I don’t want benefits – the days of benefits are numbered anyway. The money has long since run out and the credit lines are drying up. Those on benefits will soon be begging in the streets, but they will be begging from people who have no spare money, if any.
It will get violent. It already has but it will get worse. People will eat each other. The government will try to retain control but with no money to pay their military or police, they will lose all control. Some of those politicians could feed a family for a month.
They will try to emulate North Korea but North Korea started out with a population who were used to living a subsistence lifestyle. When the Kims started out they did not have to take away all the Xboxes and flatscreen TVs and Nikes and iPhones and Burberry hats. For most of North Korea, life just continued to be as shitty as it was before. Try imposing subsistence farming on the inner-city bennies-fed chavs and see what you get. They don’t even know what a carrot looks like if it’s not in a plastic compartment in a microwave tray, and they think cows come pre-sliced. They won’t raid farms for food. They don’t know what food looks like, and if the floor isn’t tarmac they can’t walk.
I hope Scotland gets independence. The fuck-up will be spectacular. Oily Al clearly has no idea what he’s doing and the Cleggeron Coagulation are terrified that a split will throw the two parts of the UK out of the EU. It won’t just be Scotland who will have to re-apply. The rest will be a ‘new country’ too.
Let it all happen. Trying to take them on in the current system is suicide. They are going to cheat and they have all the guns. Let them do it all, let the drones who supported them suffer, let’s see if those drones will ever fight back. I doubt it. The drones are too ovine to imagine where the truck is taking them. They cannot be saved, they don’t want to be saved, they will not even realise they need saving until it is too late. It will all come crashing down and that is the only way it can be now.
When it does, there will be uncivil ‘servants’ marching in the streets again. Let them march. Let them waste their few remaining calories until they fall, emaciated, to the ground and are set upon by the Ferals they have spent all these years encouraging. The NHS will topple, only a matter of time now since it’s so top-heavy it must soon succumb to gravity. They will blame the smokers, drinkers and fat people they refuse to treat for their fall. Let them. As long as they fall, I will be happy to take the credit.
All those councils will try to mobilise armies of diversity co-ordinators and outreach witchraft equality LGBT officers and finally discover they have employed all of the most useless people ever born – the ones God looks away from and says ‘Well, I have bad days too’.
No, we cannot fight it but I don’t believe we need to. I think all we have to do is dig in, stay under the radar, sit back and watch it all implode.
Maybe, give it a little nudge here and there to speed things along, but otherwise… pass the popcorn.