Speaking as a smoker of far less than magnificent stature, I must therefore conclude that I am as thick as two short planks. This means that the clientele of Local Shop must be, as I have long suspected, zombies. They are far dimmer than me!
Anyway, we’re all used to the smoker-bashing by now. Also fat-bashing, drink-bashing, burger-bashing and all the rest. Today, we welcome the short people into Denormalisation Club. Don’t worry, folks, you’ll soon get used to it. You’ll also find it’s generally much friendlier on this side of the divide.
Perhaps we should rename it ‘Non-Aryan Club’ since that is pretty clearly where it is headed. Linking the differences to genes offers the Health Nazis a clear means to eradicate all non-standard behaviours and body types. A means they have tried before, more than once, and are likely to be itching to try again. They could call it, oh, a ‘final solution’. Oh wait – they already did, in one of their most recent purification drives. They’ll need a new name for it this time round because re-using the old name is likely to spook the proles.
With the inclusion of the short people, I think everyone but the Aryan ideal has now been denormalised. All religions have been turned against, all non-British-Standard-Human lifestyles and body shapes demonised, the deformed and the disabled turned out to fend for themselves. Really, all that’s left is to reel in the gays and there has already been a ‘gay gene’ identified – or not, depending (as with all things in science now) on who paid for the research. Is the ‘gay gene’ a real thing or not? Does anyone believe it matters at all? When they come for you, as when they came for all the rest, the truth becomes a highly flexible thing.
Anyway, I’m back on a week of early shift, so I’ll just leave a little song to welcome our new denormalised, non-Aryan small people into the fold. A song that was misunderstood by the drones at the time (1978) and they still don’t get it now. Get ready, professionally offended, this one will twist your knickers until only dogs can hear you whine.
Oh, and as for short people being dim… Isambard Kingdom Brunel. That is all.