Covert Rationing.

Some time ago, there were reports of a poor olive harvest with a resulting shortage of good quality olive oil. Suddenly, olive oil went from ‘good for you’ to ‘bad for you’ in the eyes of the Food Freaks. You don’t want this, oh no, it’s bad for you, and if you want it there might not be enough for us.

Now we have sugar as the new smoking. It’s addictive, you must have it or you will suffer withdawal symptoms and since it’s what your brain runs on, these symptoms can be pretty severe. Naturally, anti-everything Puritans will suffer no ill effects from a total sugar withdrawal since they are already brain dead anyway.

This new demonisation has a cause. There might not be enough sugar to go around, so naturally the plebs must be scared away from wanting to have any. Demand by plebs will only push up the price, and the plebs won’t riot when they can’t get something they’re scared to have anyway.

The Puritans gave up on salt control very abruptly, didn’t they? There’s no shortage of salt. I bought a 3 kg bag in Poundland the other day and I’ll buy more. They also sell plastic containers to store it in. Tesco sell the same size plastic containers for four times the price. It only has to keep the stuff dry on a garage shelf, it’s not some kind of kitchen fashion statement. A one-pound plastic box does the same as a four-pound plastic box.

I’ll have to lay in a stock of sugar too. There are six pounds of frozen plums waiting for the demijohns to be freed up – although I have noticed, on eBay, plastic fermentation bins that will be far easier to get the first fermentation run out of. There’s a lot of mashed fruit in that first run and demijohns have very narrow necks.

Also, I have been eyeing up those huge plastic bottles of cheap supermarket water. Much cheaper than demijohns and so easy to fit with an airlock… but I’m digressing as usual.

I wonder about this antismoking stuff. I used to think it was based entirely on spite because there is no other clear motivation. There is no advantage to the Dreadful Arnott and her drones if we all stop smoking. It is already banned anywhere it could trouble the delicate nostrils of the girlie-men. Banning it in private cars (and soon homes) does not improve the life of a single whining toadie anywhere. There is no reason for it other than pure spite.

Maybe there is. The level of control over the hive-mind of the drones that was established by the antismokers has proved useful. They believe the crap about second, third and nine hundredth hand smoke, they believe all smokers are stupid (a very useful thing to have them believe, I find). They believe it all.

The same technique formed the Church of Climatology with its army of useful idiots who believe what they are told to believe. It has formed the legions who think that eating any kind of fat will make you fat, who believe that sugar is addictive, that inhaling a wisp of smoke from half a gram of burning leaf is more deadly than sucking on a SUV tailpipe (I’m going to get one of them to prove it, one day, I just need to find one stupid enough), that meat and cheese are deadly, that tax is a good thing, that the amount of time you sit at your desk is a measure of how much work you’re doing… and so on.

On that last point, I have sat at this desk all evening and achieved bugger all. It’s too early to write and I have to sleep in order to work tomorrow. Soon this mad time-frame will end and I can get back to normal hours, spent in the cold darkness of past-midnight when the ideas that come border on the dangerously insane. Luckily for the rest of this town, all I ever do is write about them. It just has to be dark and silent save for the scratching at the windows and the creak of distant doors in an empty house.

A quick digression (it’s worth it) – here are some two-line stories that are worth a few minutes of your time. I didn’t think of any of them, I’m ashamed to admit. I especially liked No. 13.

Five a day. Units per week. Smoke that becomes ever deadlier the more it is diluted. Remove fats, salt and sugar from your diet and you will live forever (you won’t last a month). All utter nonsense and all believed, unquestioningly, by the drones. All because they have been trained by the antismokers to believe absolutely anything at all.

Recently I resisted temptation. One of the Local Shop girls had apparently waved to me as she came out of the swimming pool. I never go there but I pass it every day on the way to work. She was mortified that I hadn’t seen her because it made her look as if she was some kind of loony waving at nobody.

Normally, there is one thing more delightful than wrecking someone’s day, and that is wrecking their entire lives. For the lulz. But, I quite like this girl so I didn’t say what was in my mind. “Swimming pool? You go in there? It’s just a load of people sharing a bath full of each others’ filth.”

She’s young and the young are thoroughly indoctrinated. Their minds can now be turned with just a few well chosen words. It would have been cruel. But funny.

If only she had been an antismoker. I’d have listed the bacteria in the water and described the growths in the filters. She’d never have bathed again and could have become a Green.

I think I’m going soft in my old age, you know.

The conditioning of the antismoking mindset has a purpose. You want to raise the chocolate ration from 35g to 25g and have them rejoice? You can now do that. They will not notice.

There is no need to publicise shortages any more. All you need do is tell the drones it’s as bad as smoking and they won’t want any. Then the price won’t go up.

The smart ones stock up from the pound shops, before the supermarkets notice the ‘shortage’ stories among the hype of the ‘bad for you’ stories.

Poundland currently have 1.5 kg of sugar for a pound. And the plastic containers to keep it in. I’ll be in there tomorrow. No rush, the drones won’t touch it.


41 thoughts on “Covert Rationing.

  1. I hope nobody discovers “Little Town’s” identity old fella…nor especially that of “Little Shop”…

    If cover was blown on you – and you have, let it be admitted – given away one or two clues! – your occasional comments about individuals’ mental abilities, and the toilet-cleanliness- habits of the odd female customer, might lead to your “outing” in whatever passes for the local papers!

    (But I am narrowing down the possible locations to about three…)
    Don’t worry – I’d never grass you up! Apart from anything, I’d love to actually visit you one day.


    • One would like to think that, of the readership of Our Man in a Heavy Hat, anyone that did figure it out would keep schtum (I know I would).


    • I do believe I may have driven past the town on the way to somewhere having been somewhere else, but then I’ve driven past many places in my time. Places differ, but tarmac is similar in most places and that’s mostly what you see whilst driving. Except in Leeds, where the roads are bloody awful.


      • Lots of people drive past. Few stop to visit – there’s not much to see unless you like stone circles. The Picts were busy here a few thousand years back, getting drunk and standing big rocks on end and carving odd things into them.

        But then – that’s true of most of the towns within about a hundred miles or so!


        • I like stone circles: surveyed a few, even, in my student days when I had time to read stuff by Alexander Thom and Gerald Hawkins. They are most probably calendar-markers of an early sort. I don’t believe any of the post-modern hippy druid ley-line nonsense at all: the fellas knew what they were doing and were surprisingly precise.


    • There are some very odd female customers and some even odder male ones.

      Still, nothing compared to what you see in some of the cheapo/pound shops. They cater for the simians. We do, at least, get the mostly civilised ones in Local Shop.


    • I have wondered about the possibility of becoming a writer/editor for Local Rag. It would give me no end of delight to be tasked with ‘finding that Leg-Iron bloke’.

      Negotiations for that story could take months.


    • Where are ya today???????????????? Been miserable watching the web all day for you to mek an entrance!!! Hope all’s well x


      • I’m fine – I fell asleep in my chair and woke with a bad case of Quasimodo neck. Day shift does not agree with me.

        Late shift all next week, that’ll be much better.


  2. From Genesis ‘Foxtrot’ 1972-

    18/9/2012 TV Flash on all dial-a-program services.
    This is an announcement from Genetic Control: It is my sad duty to inform you of a four foot restriction on Humanoid height.



  3. Daily Telegraph yesterday had a front page “High protein diet as deadly as smoking.” Maybe you’re right, tobacco is a major EU crop and the fields might be needed for food due to forecast shortages.


  4. “Recently I resisted temptation. One of the Local Shop girls had apparently waved to me as she came out of the swimming pool…………She was mortified that I hadn’t seen her because it made her look as if she was some kind of loony waving at nobody.” – Didn’t it occur to you she was just being friendly. I’d rather have a friendly drone anyday than a washed up bog cleaner. “Normally, there is one thing more delightful than wrecking someone’s day, and that is wrecking their entire lives” – What a nasty little shit you are – no wonder you’re alone.


    • Marvin, when I was at school, we had a section of English class called ‘reading comprehension’. This meant not just reading, but understanding what the words said.

      Your first comment implies that I deliberately ignored the girl even though you included these words in your quote – ‘I hadn’t seen her’. I would not have deliberately ignoired her, she is a very pleasant individual. Way too young for me, I’m probably more in her granny’s age group, but she’s a very nice girl all the same.

      As I said, I resisted the temptation to ruin her swimming experience forever, even though it’s easy to do, because she has never done me any harm. I doubt she would ever wish any harm on anyone. There are few such people.

      I do enjoy scaring people, hence the books. I delight in those reviews that tell me the story is horrible – that was the point of writing the story. However, I reserve my deeper mental torments for those who deserve it.

      If you want to think of me as a nasty little shit, go ahead. I don’t mind at all. Although if you could inject a little more imagination into future insults, I’d appreciate it.


      • You have been visited by one of the 23%.

        · As many as 23% of the adult American population (40-44 million) is functionally illiterate (Level 1 according to the National Adult Literacy Survey), lacking basic skills beyond a fourth-grade level.


        • Or the 20%

          Some 7 million adults in England – one in five adults – if given the alphabetical index to the Yellow Pages, cannot locate the page reference for plumbers.

          That is an example of functional illiteracy. It means that one in five adults has less literacy than is expected of an 11-year-old child.


        • One day I will tell the full story of the professor who, when preparing for an open day, was adamant that the general public were perfectly capable of understanding his work. We were only post-docs but we could see that our level of knowledge of a very narrow band of a corner of a subset of biology was the result of years of dedicated study. His knowledge of the area stretched into decades.

          The general public had no knowledge of what we do and little interest. They just wanted to see stuff down microscopes. We were working on rumen protozoa so we had some really good stuff to show off.

          We did try to point out the TV ads of the time attempting to get adults into literacy classes… if they could all understand a professor’s decades of study in an instant, why could so many of them not read?


    • On balance, Marvin, if you decide that someone on the internet displeases you slightly, it’s probably better to ignore them and go away. Calling people “nasty little shits” and then casting aspersions upon their social status is considered rude.


      • To be fair, I can be a nasty little shit, especially when faced with a fake-coughing hand-waver. And I have no interest in social status. None at all. I’ve been right to the top as a business owner and it’s actually pretty crap up there.

        Now I can exceed everyone’s expectations at work simply by talking in complete sentences. This is the easy life.


        • “To be fair, I can be a nasty little shit,”

          No, you are too good at being a ‘shit’ to be a ‘little shit’, you warrant the rank of ‘big shit of small size’.

          On the other hand, most of us are larger in stature and less skilled at being ‘shits’, that makes us under-achievers in the world of ‘shits’.

          I will work hard to correct my shortcomings. 🙂


        • “To be fair, I can be a nasty little shit”

          I’m not surprised – you’ve admitted to handling some pretty nasty shit in the course of your work. I guess some of it must have rubbed off!

          Ho, hum…


  5. OK. Who let the nutters out?
    Anyway, interesting thing in the Telegraph – “Saturated fat is not bad for health, says heart expert”
    How long have we been being fed shitty ‘research’?


    • The one thing that links science and religion is that they can both be co-opted to control the drones.

      It used to be easier with religion because you didn’t have to provide proof, but now that applies to much of science too.

      And of course, science controls atheists who can shrug off attempts at religious control. In fact, tell most atheists that ‘religion denies this’ and they will embrace any old crap without question.

      I doubted Stewart’s idea that evolution/creation arguments could be a form of control because I didn’t see what could be gained. However, if you consider that the whole evolution/creation argument has primed atheists to automaticaly side with crap science no matter how crap it is, the conditioning it created becomes clear.

      In fact, evolution/creation are not competing issues. You can have both. Creation should be set against the Big Bang theory but there’s no mileage in that. All you’d then have is ‘It just happened’ vs. ‘God did it’ and the thing would just fizzle out.


      • I don’t think the idea that evolution/creation arguments could be a form of control came from me. I wish it had, as it could be true. Even the famous preachers of the late 19th century had embraced evolution theory as it had been made to appear obvious.

        The fraudulent claims of evolutionists are to shepherd the masses towards atheism.

        But then the *real* science reappeared in the age of X-ray diffraction and electron microscopy and which paved the way for everyone to see that life was far more complex than had previously been imagined and so molecules-to-man became far more implausible.

        It was probably after the final structure of DNA was discovered that two things started happening: science split into two camps (maybe it had been that way for decades) – those interested in real science and those chasing the funding and creating the disinformation, but there were increasingly fewer excuses with massive leaps in technology, but even so, things started getting sillier and sillier until the present day, when almost every ‘scientist’ seems to have the conclusion deduced before the study even begins.

        I think there was just a year between Watson/Crick and DNA and the Doll/Hill smoking ‘study’ first ‘findings’.

        If anything, the smoking-related hysteria was probably devised to test how people would react to bad ‘science’ whereas evolution theory was necessary to help eradicate religion to aid in the global conquest of socialism.

        “Our programme necessarily includes the propaganda of atheism.” (Lenin)

        Dawkins’ drones are the most stupid and arrogant people, in general, I have ever encountered after over a decade of online debates, which is the reason most of them resort to name-calling and misquoting scripture rather than debating science with me – because they are utterly clueless about it. They just believe.

        On second thoughts, I don’t think they do, otherwise they would try to debate rationally instead of flying off the handle for daring to oppose their beliefs.


        • Atheists say that evolution ‘proves’ that God could not have created the Universe in 7 days; but, I have yet to find one that can say how long a ‘God’s day’ would be in human terms.

          Here are 2 other questions they sidestep:
          1. If every thing evolves, what was the ‘speed of light’ before it evolved to it’s present speed?

          2. What was the force of Gravity before it evolved to it’s present rate?

          Then there is the question of what form Dark Matter/Dark Energy,90% of the Universe, evolved from?

          As some one that refuses to gamble against unfavorable odds, I am a Believer.

          If I am wrong, there is nothing lost.

          If an atheist is wrong, eternity in Hell awaits them.


  6. In Africa, there are tribes for whom every problem has but one answer “A witch did it.” Your Grandfather died of old age? A witch cursed him. Stubbed your toe? Witches. Got something in your eye? A witch put it there. Highly primitive thinking (Sort of), but the sort of mental process displayed by the Dreadful Arnot et al.

    In their eyes Smoker / insert bogeymans name here is to blame for whatever minor dysfunction an anti smoker suffered this morning. Eyes a bit gummy? Second hand smoke from the house across the street. Bad taste in their mouth? Likewise. Poor ickle bunny got a headache? Curse those damnable smokers! Someone walked past them with a cigarette in their mouth yesterday. Oh noes! Dooomed!

    The same thinking drives all these health scares. Sugar, protein, fats, smoke. Whatever. Salt, sugar and flour are basic cooking ingredients, and it makes sense to keep a buffer stock in the house. The scares and shortages come and go. Wait a month and there’ll be a whole new one.

    Sorry mate, but as a smoker you are now officially very witchy indeed and therefore should be burned at the stake. Well, maybe not as the second hand fumes from your thoroughly contaminated body might cause untold cancers in the locale. Possibly even cause runaway global warming. I’m sure you can think of many others.


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