This is a new one from the NHS. It smacks of scraping the barrel, of ‘experts’ tearing out their hair and screaming ‘We don’t know what else to do!’
They are going to initiate antiemployment. They are going to pay people to not do something.
This was a dream of mine, long ago. I wanted to find a cure for all known diseases, a cure that was cheap and easily assembled in any kitchen from household ingredients. Then I would tell all the Pharmers about it and ask how much they’d pay me to keep quiet.
If I found it now I wouldn’t keep quiet. Sod the Pharmers, sod the money. They are behind the whole antismoking crap, the pretend obesity nonsense and all the rest of it. No, if I found such a cure now it would be on every internet forum I could find. I don’t have one. Yet.
Antiemployment is a word with a long history (ten minutes) of common usage (three times counts in my book) and it is, as I said, paying someone to not do something. It is especially relevant when their doing or not doing of that something is really of no consequence to you at all.
They don’t want to pay very much. Their ‘experts’ imagine that offering plenty much money is no more effective than offering the price of a can of beans, which is nonsense. Offer me £3 to stop smoking. Get stuffed. Offer me a million pounds if I stop for six months and all my tobacco will be in the chimenea as soon as the cheque clears.
After the six months is up I’ll spend a little of those millions on some leaves, seeds and papers. Even with a million I won’t be back at the tobacco counter. The way things are going, in six months you won’t be able to find it anyway. To paraphrase Douglas Adams, it’ll be in the cellar with no lights or stairs, stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying ‘Beware of the leopard’.
Employment works like this. You pay me to do something, so I do it. I do it your way even if your way is wrong (I might point this out depending on whether I’m paid enough to care) and I abide by any rules in place while at work. Once you stop paying, I stop working and no longer abide by workplace rules. Well, obviously, if you have a rule that states ‘do not slit your own throat’ I will carry that one over into non-work time but otherwise, when you stop paying you lose all control. Not that you ever really had any, it was all just an illusion brought on by the unreasonable cost of whisky.
Antiemployment works like this. ‘I really don’t care whether you do that thing or not but I’m going to pay you to not do it anyway’. It only works when it’s not your money you’re piddling away.
The delightful irony in it all is that the NHS depends very heavily on the tax take from UK-bought tobacco for its very existence. They are using the money extorted from smokers to bribe smokers to not give them any more money.
Perhaps this post would have been better titled ‘assisted suicide’. Maybe it spells the end of the NHS.
We can only hope so. They have long since passed the point of being expensively useless.