No, I can’t.

One of the young girls at work (there seem to be a lot more young ones around than there used to be) borrowed a cigarette a few days back. My blend of a bit more Burley than Virginia apparently hurt her chest. I did not offer to kiss it better but admit I thought about it. Twice.

So I offered to make some pure-Virginia girlie weak fags for her. I made ten, put them in a new Bull Brand tin box and non-generously included a lighter. Non-generously because I had bought a pack of disposables and one was pink. If I turn up at Smoky-Drinky with a pink lighter I will never hear the end of it. It was a case of give it away or throw it away.

Total cost to me, less than £1.50 and £1 of that was the tin.

She offered to pay for them. I flatly refused. Not just because she’s a very nice girl but more because if you want to sell cigarettes in Scotland, you have to have a licence as well as dealing with all that duty and VAT stuff. It’s cheaper by far to just give them away.

I cannot accept any payment for any ready-to-smoke tobacco. I can sell leaf or plants or seeds here but if it’s shredded and ready to go… no. I can’t. Too much bother.

Is it even possible to set up as a tobacconist now? Add that duty and licencing into the double tax on the first year and business rates etc… it can’t be possible.

Not even if you bought in or grew leaf and made them to order. As a seller/producer you’d be paying the duty up front and the licence too.

So no, I cannot sell ready to smoke baccy. I can give it away and I can point them to places that sell leaf, shredders, tubes and tubing devices,  I can sell them seed and plants, I can even sell cured leaves from my own plants (I won’t because I don’t grow enough) but shredded baccy… no.

She knows how to tube. I’ll give her a bag of my leftover Virginia ready shredded next. Along with links to her own shredder and a place she can buy her own leaf.

If she has a garden and can’t be bothered tending to it, I will offer my services as a gardener. For free. And I can promise some very nice flowering plants too, along with some more shredded leaf later.

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9 thoughts on “No, I can’t.

  1. Quid pro quo…You ought to get something she has to offer in exchange…it is called capitalism…has worked quite well until recently.

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    • My Great Grandfather was at sea for 50+ years (Bibby line,) sailing mostly to the far East.

      In the days when “customs” was even more of a joke than it is now, he would bring THOUSANDS of cigarettes back, in the days when they were still “kind of” rationed (1945-50(?))

      He never carried cash. He carried a sea-sack full of fags, and could go ANYWHERE, from the local baker to the local pub, and “pay” with fags.

      200 fags, he could drink virtually all week, and he was NOT a “small” drinker!

      Now, if he had thought of growing his own…..

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  2. Pingback: No, I Can't (Kiss It and Make It Better!) | Und...

    • Vey pretty, but far too young and too attached to a boyfriend. My days of fending off enraged boyfriends are probably best left in the past.

      Although, since her boyfriend thinks she’s stopping and I’m supplying her with smokes, I’m already in trouble with him anyway.

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