The Independence that isn’t.

Must sleep early tonight. The change from late shift to early shift gets harder to deal with when you get a bit old. Especially if you write at night. Getting up in the morning is okay, I don’t like it but I can do it. Being even reasonably functional takes three cans of Red Bull-like cheapo chemical fizz topped up with the awful ‘espresso that is really just bad instant coffee with less water’ from the free machine at work. That said, I have never yet failed to do everything I’m supposed to do and often done a bit more. Just… on autopilot.

Lidl do a nice chemical fizz with some actual fruit-like flavour in there. A touch more expensive than the four-for-a-pound at Poundland and Farmfoods but £1.79 for six is still a hell of a lot cheaper than the original.

Which reminds me, I have to go there and get some Ben Bracken in before the Budget booze-price increases. The inevitable blast of tobacco price increases no longer interest me. I have seeds and soil, a combination that gets more attractive to more people every year. The budget is in March, which gives the newly enraged time to get some seeds or seedlings in. Just guard them from slugs and frost until they are big enough to sneer at both.

Tobacco grows perfectly well in Scotland although I’m not sure I can get it to grow wild here. Won’t stop me trying – it costs nothing but a little time. Late frosts are common and could wipe out the wild plants, but I have so many seeds now that failure doesn’t matter at all. Even if I fail here I might produce something hardy enough to grow wild further south. It’ll do and once established, it’ll spread.

I fully expect Oily Al, the Wee Plastic Wallace (a term I picked up from a Mail commenter and thought was perfect) to immediately ban any and all growing of pretty much anything that can be turned into smoking or drinking material as soon as he has control.

The thing is, he won’t have control, not even the limited control he thinks he’ll get. Andrew Marr was slated for his remark but he was right. The EU will not welcome Scotland with open arms. Many European countries have little bits that want to be independent. Even some US states have made loud noises about secession. People do not like central control. If Oily Al were to succeed, all those little bits of land will think ‘Wahey, we can get independence and then get the EU to subsidise us forever’.

Not ‘until we can get our act together’. Forever. Whole small countries in the benefits trap. Why work for peanuts when you get coconuts for free? The few remaining countries with money will have realised this and will be thinking ‘Git awa’ tae buggery ya wee bawbags, ye’re no’ gettin’ a penny oot a me’.

Perhaps I should have titled this ‘Scotland Adrift’ because that is what Oily Al and his Spiteful Nannying Puritans promise.

No link with Wastemonster? It does sound good but then Wastemonster isn’t running itself. The EU runs it. The Cleggy and the Cameroid are just the front men, the warm-up act. What Oily Al and his sidekick, Miss Caviar, want is to free Scotland from the ineffective and emasculated Wastemonster and give it to those who control Wastemonster anyway. So, an expensive exercise in achieving nothing at all. They must have had lessons from NHS management.

Then there is money. Oily Al pretends he does not want the Euro while deviously steering his supporters into demanding it. He claims Scoitland will use the Pound whether the Bank of England likes it or not. His supporters are easily pushed into demanding something non-English instead but that’s not the real point.

The point is that whether he uses the Pound or Euro or Dollar or Yen or pints of yak’s milk or shiny stones from Tenerife is all irrelevant. He will preside over a country that has absolutely no control over its own currency. That model has worked out so well for Greece and Portugal and so on…

As for the great Scottish economy, that is based on running-out oil, whisky and Buckfast. All of which Oily Al wants banned. Really. If you vote SNP you are voting for someone who wants your country destroyed. Tourist industry? With the whole landscape looking like a Windy Miller wet dream? Get real.

Independence means independence. It means ‘Nah. I’m living life my way and you can just go and live yours’.

It’s what smokers do. It is not what the SNP do, which might be why they hate smokers so much.

Oily Al wants a socialist utopia like North Korea. If he manages to win a Yes vote, that is what will happen. When it comes to running an actual country he has demonstrated that, like all those past revolutiionaries, he has no fucking clue. What will you use for money? We’ll use yours. Where is your business base? Currently packing and moving out but that’s okay. we don’t want capitalists and all their filthy money anyway. Does your plan involve escaping the EU to join the EU? (dons Bane mask) Of course! The man is an idiot but admittedly, a personable moron.

There is no independence in Oily Al’s promise. He wants to switch from the current master to the same master. With a bit of spin and illusion for good measure. Really. England is just another EU region now. Breaking free and then re-attaching the chains is a level of stupid we need a new word to describe.

In the event the idiot wins, nothing at all will change except for the very much worse.

I’ll miss the whisky.

16 thoughts on “The Independence that isn’t.

  1. I’m a Scot. You’re an honourary Scot via your whisky lineage. We can see what’s happening, but the drones are pure dead excited (so they are) at the thought of being ‘free’ from England, even if things will be much worse after indy-pretence.

    They forget how rubbish we are at politics up here. They forget how Labour’s “Scottish Mafia” messed up the whole UK, not just a bit of it. They even forget (or never knew) that it was the stupid political moves to establish the failed Scottish colony of Darien in Central America that left us so skint we had to form the ‘Union’.

    Of all the places Scotland could have built a colony in the 1690s, the dimwits chose a place with one of the most inhospitable climates (which killed many a colonist) and was part of the Spanish Empire (and had to surrender to them).

    Not only are our politicians generally rubbish, our voters choose rubbishly, so we’ll have one socialist government after another (Labour/SNP/Labour), with the socialist EU as overlords and their directives emanating from the Leninist Marxists at the UN.

    And these stupid people think this is independence, when real independence really would lift us up to Norway/Switzerland standards of living. Ah, but we’d still have the problem of the heid the ba’ political class and clueless voters, so we’d still be an impoverished backwater, but free from those English Tory baskets….. until we’re skint again (won’t take long with Salmond ‘powering’ the country with windmills and obeying every EU directive and global ‘green’ scheme)…. then the politicians and people will be begging to rejoin the Union.


    • Well, I’m rather afraid you’re right Stewart.

      But one of the other little problems is that the Scottish Labour Mafia have, in the course of their depredations down here, managed to heartily piss off most of the English.

      I oscillate manic-depressively between the two following positions:-

      (1) shouting that we ought to cut the lot of you adrift whether you like it or not, taking away our Amotic Sumbarines which the wee Plastic Wallace says he doesn’t like anyway, and building a border fence a-la-Mexico/USA,

      (2) march in, arrest the wee Plastic Fella and Miss Caviar and their local gang, give the others that we can catch a good spanking, and then _sort out_ the fungoidal socialism that’s corrupted Scotland.

      Neither of those scenarios will come about. Things will just get worse than they are now, whether the Scots vote for independence or not, I fear.


      • My only mistake was getting Marxist-Leninists the wrong way round! I’d have gotten away with it if it wasn’t for you pesky kids.

        I lived in England for 13 years. I know these people. I know they’re human and when I was there (mid 80s to late 90s) there was no anti-Scottish feeling that I encountered. Not once. Just rivalry, of course, especially when it came to football.

        But I left just months after the devolution vote in 1997. I think it was the niggly little things which upset the English, like our free prescriptions and the perception that we get more money from Westminster than England, even though we arguably contribute more and some English regions are subsidised more, but it all added up to increase the divide and conquer nature of the whole thing, which I believe was the real thinking behind devolution.


  2. Explain to me why Scotland voting on independence from the UK is OK without the rest of the UK voting – and yet Crimea voting on independence from Ukraine without asking the rest of Ukraine isn’t?


    • But with 1% of the EU’s population we’ll be minnows. The whole thing is an illusion. The wee plastic oily one wants to feel like a big fish. He’s in it for the personal glory. Otherwise, you can tell from his appearances on HIGNFY that he’s really a comedian.


  3. Wanting to join the EU is bizarre. If Scotland just joined the EEA they would have full access to the EU market, they would have full control over their own fishing grounds and offshore oil industry, a seat at every international rule making body and a seat at the UN. Compare that with being in the EU. The problem is that most politicians no longer represent their voters, they represent the EU governing bodies.


  4. He wants to switch from the current master to the same master. With a bit of spin and illusion for good measure. Really.

    It is not the master that concerns that lot, it is that they themselves should hold the vital post of middle-man between master and slave. That is where true comfort lies; in that sweet spot of no real accountability, but plenty of power derived from being so close to the master’s table.


  5. As I understand it, if Scotland joins the EU, they have a rule that says that new countries have to abide by all existing rules, including the Euro. So what is all this rubbish about the pound. Also, the rest of the UK will have to reapply, and to be accepted, they will have to have the Euro too. The pound would cease to exist.


    • Correct about Scotland.

      However our politicians will need to hold a referendum on joining the EU and I strongly suspect they’ll lose.

      The rest of the UK is unaffected. England, Wales & NI will continue as normal.

      Of course they’ll have 5.6 million less people as well as a fractionally smaller economy, and that will impact on their contributions to the EU.

      The referendum on independence (should they win) will simply represent the starting point in a whole series of issues. NATO, UN, even the Commonwealth. There is no planned date for cutting the cord, however it shouldn’t take more than about five years to officially separate.

      Compare that to what’s happening with Crimea where there the whole process has been concertina’d into a week.

      There the problem for the ordinary punter is their adoption of the Ruble. Banks don’t have them and many savers may have voted to join the Russian Federation, but hadn’t quite factored in what that really meant in practice.

      Here we still have the Scottish Pound. That continued as a part of the 1707 settlement. In due course I expect someone will chuck that into the mix. Should we be barred from using Sterling and from joining the EU, the Scottish Pound becomes our only option (once they’ve built from scratch a Central Bank).

      As things stand Mr. John Swinney MSP will be our equivalent of George Osborne and should be charged with overseeing monetary policy.

      Sadly the man does not fill me with confidence.

      Certainly on any day Scotland adopts its “Pound” as the only legal tender I expect to see a run on its banks of a scale unseen in recent history. In fact I expect to see “capital flight” as soon as the wrong results are announced.

      Great news for Carlisle, Berwick and Newcastle.


  6. I am a Scot, lived abroad for quite a few years but grew up in Scotland and was educated there. We stayed in Scotland from 1980 – 1996 when we moved to England as we had decided to do if devolution was approved, it has turned out as expected, second rate politicians and jumped up councillors. I have never experienced any anti Scottish felling here, ever but there has always been a streak of anti English feeling, especially in Glasgow.
    I only know one person who is voting for independence, personally I am past caring but either go and get on with it or stop whining.


  7. It will be interesting whatever the result. If the vote is no, then that leaves Oily with no reason to exist and if the vote is yes, then Westminster loses all those Labour MPs. As an Englishman I don’t want to see the Union broken but losing all those Labour troughers is one hell of a consolation prize.


  8. I remember learning in a Politics class, long, long ago that if it weren’t for Scotland then Labour could never win a General Election. So it seems odd, then, that Labour are the ones braying supportively for an independent Scotland (and indeed were the ones who were the main movers and shakers in that direction vis-à-vis devolution) and the Tories are the ones pushing the idea of continuing the Union. Maybe it’s just a sign of how far both of our main two parties have moved from their original roots, aims and objectives. “And the animals looked from pig to man, and from man to pig and they saw that it was already impossible to tell the difference between the two.”

    Maybe there’s a constitutional question regarding the EU that Cameron’s deliberately not mentioning. I have heard it mooted that as we joined the EU as “the United Kingdom of England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland,” then that country would – having lost the “Scotland” bit – effectively no longer exist and would itself have to re-join the EU as a new country. Which, of course, would force the much-promised-but-never-delivered in/out referendum which Cameron (and Brown and Blair before him) is so terrified of and has been at such pains to avoid. Even if this isn’t automatically the case, it would certainly, I imagine, be an angle that UKIP would push to its limits as an obligation (or at least “the perfect opportunity”) for a referendum to take place which, given the amount of public pressure for a referendum that’s around at the moment, would be tricky, to say the least, for our current crop of EU-slave politicos to argue against.


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