The vegans are after pork now.

All this stuff about ‘ooh, all the meat is Halal’ is nonsense. Really. That lamb chop is a bit of a dead baby. You can angst about it if you like, I’m going to eat it. And not just one. They are small.

I have snared rabbits and they aren’t always dead when you find them. Sometimes they don’t go through the snare right and just get trapped instead of garotted. It’s nasty, that’s true. I had no money and needed to eat so I got over it. I have clubbed trout and other fish to death after hauling them from the water with a metal hook jammed into their lips. There is no way to make that sound nice. It isn’t. I don’t ‘play’ fish, I haul them out with a big, fast spinner reel and strong line – or drag them quickly with the fly line. On the spinner I use, the buggers hydroplane in and get flipped onto the bank instead of being gently lifted out in a net before being bludgeoned to death.  They don’t get time to work out what’s going on. I do not fish for sport. I fish to eat.

(Lidl currently have fishing gear including a very nice spinner reel for £14, if you’re of the fish-munching fraternity).

If you want to eat meat than something has to die. It can be humane but is that a real thing? You’re still going to kill it. Okay, there is a big difference between what a cat does to a mouse before killing it and the fast bite of a deadly spider but in the end, the living thing becomes meat.

Vegetarians and vegans can’t cope with that and that’s perfectly okay. It is, let’s face it, nasty. If you can live without the nasty stuff then why not? But if you really like to eat meat then you have to accept that it’s something that was once alive and then died.

I like to make it clear. A poached egg in a chicken curry is ‘mother and baby curry’. Lamb is eating babies, eggs are consuming the unborn. If there ever comes a time when I can’t deal with that then at least I can say I was honest about it. I knew exactly what I was doing and still do. I am not lying to myself or anyone else – I eat dead things and I like it.

I could get into the whole ‘You know, that lettuce leaf is still alive when you rip it apart with your teeth’ but I eat lettuce too. Also radishes and carrots (they are better raw) and lots of other vegetable and fruit foods. I eat anything. Don’t stay still too long.

I have long wondered whether the whole ‘It’s all Halal, you know’ was an attempt to put us off eating meat altogether. The Green Cult want us all vegan, living on lentils and tofu and while that might sustain life, it doesn’t seem to me to be much of a life. Okay if you like it, but it’s not for me.

It is definitely not beyond the Green Cult to enlist the vegetarian and vegan fundamentalists to their cause. Definitely not beyond either group to make wild and unsubstantiated claims to put us off meat. Not even beyond them to actually lie.

Nicked from the vegans on Farcebok –

This is called a farrowing crate. Sows go in there when they are about to give birth. It has a reason.

The sow might weigh 300 kg, the piglets will be 1 kg or less when born. The ones in the picture have just been popped. Sows don’t think to check whether there are piglets beneath them when they decide to sit and 300 kg sitting on 1 kg has only one messy result. I have, more than once, rescued a piglet when its mother decided to lean against a wall and wasn’t concerned by the squealing of her trapped baby.

They are not in there for two and a half years. They are in there until the piglets get old enough and smart enough to get the hell out of the way when Mum sits down. This arrangement lets the sow suckle her young without killing them and is not intended to be deliberate and unecessary cruelty as the vegans pretend.

It is also not for the benefit of the animal. Let’s be fair here, it is so that the farmer does not lose too many piglets to the ‘sod it, I can pop ten at a time anyway’ attitude of the sow. It both is and isn’t for the benefit of ‘the peeeglets’.

The only meat they cannot put us off with ‘Halal’ is pork. There is no such thing as Halal or Kosher pork. It cannot exist. Bacon is always a safe bet, which is as it should be because bacon is the food of the Gods. That’s why the Gods don’t want you to eat any. It accelerates thought and gives you psychic powers and the Gods don’t want you having any of that.

If God did not intend us to eat animals then He would not have made them out of meat. There are nutritional reasons to eat meat too but stuff it. I can’t be bothered. There are perfectly valid reasons, based on personal morality and preferences, to not eat meat.

I am not religious. I do not care at all if someone else decides that religion defines their life. It’s their life. I only get fractious when someone declares that their beliefs should control my life. Look guys, even I can’t control my life. You have no chance.

The vegetables (fundamentalist veggies) are trying the same thing now. You fundie veggies want to ban all meat?

You are made of meat. When you succeed in banning all other sources of meat, it would be wise to keep that in mind.

Nom nom nom.