An invitation from the Dark Side.

I had an Email from the Lords of Darkness today, inviting me (and everyone else) to join in this weekend’s Kill All Light festival.

Dear Smokydrinky,
Thank you for your work mucking around in Scottish politics. You’ve proven yourself as a trusted voice!
As huge fans of your work, we’d like to ask for your help.

Huge fans, eh? Smokydrinky is the Email address, not the name attached to blog posts. This is a generated mass email, isn’t it? I suspect they’ve contacted the Total Politics lists, if those are still going.

WWF’s Earth Hour is fast approaching. This year thousands of people in Scotland will be switching off their lights in a huge, symbolic show of support for action on climate change and a more sustainable future.
We’d be honored if you and your readers would take part in this celebration of our amazing planet.

Take part in sitting in the dark? Can we keep the heating and computer on? I mean, I have candles, but if this lot think that just turning off some low-power bulbs is going to save the world then they are mad.

Will you help rally them to join us this Saturday, 29 March at 8:30 pm?

No. It’s silly.

It’s the world’s biggest celebration of our amazing planet, with hundreds of millions of people from around the world coming together in a spectacular lights out display.

A spectacular lights out display? Cameras at the ready, everyone, but don’t use flash. On the positive side, if it’s a clear night we’ll get a fine view of the stars for once.

We’ve made it easy for you to be an Earth Hour star. Simply post a blog about Earth Hour [fact sheet attached]

One blog about Earth Hour right here. Done and dusted. I didn’t open the attachment, I’m afraid. I never open attachments from loonies.

Our goal is to get as many people as possible to sign up at (you don’t really want the link)

Oh no you don’t. That wil just generate more spam and nagging. My inbox is already around 75% ‘delete unread’ every day even with spam filters. I don’t want more.

Attached is everything you need to remind your readers to think about the small things we can all do to make a brighter future. Together we can make change happen!

By turning off about 50 watts of Ecodim bulbs at most, per house, for an hour? The power stations won’t even notice the difference.

Thank you. And thank you again for your amazing work.

None of which you have read. If you had, you would have known what to expect when you sent that load of cobblers.

So the drones will be plunged into darkness for an hour on Saturday night.

Lidl sell boxes of 50 of those tiny snap-and-shake glowsticks for three quid. They are for night fishing – never used them myself but apparently you attach them to the end of your rod and when a fish tugs the line, the light moves. I bought a box, not for night fishing but because they have enormous play value.

They are a mix of red, green and blue. My plan was to drill holes in the eyes of some of my garden ornaments and insert glow sticks to make the eyes light up. I still intend to do that. However…

On Saturday I’ll be placing random pairs of green or red eyes all over the place. In hedges and in foliage. I won’t be going into anyone’s garden, I’m not nearly fast enough for that. No need anyway, plenty of green patches around here. The little lights are hard to see during the day but when it gets dark, there they are. I’ve already tried a couple and they glow for at least 24 hours, longer if you snap but don’t shake.

Turn out the lights and look outside. Hopefully the council loonies will join in and turn off the street lights. There will be pairs of tiny glowing eyes looking back at you.

I probably won’t use the blue ones for this. Green ones and red ones will be more effective.

Earth Hour could prove to be fun after all.


18 thoughts on “An invitation from the Dark Side.

  1. DAMN FUCK!! We are in Bourtange, camping, 1813 style! We will HAVE nothing electrical to turn ON!!

    Na, I know, As we leave the house Friday, I will switch all the lights on, and leave. Could also “forgrt” to turn the heating off. The computer never gets switchef off any way, so…


    • A delightful irony, considering how much fuel was burned to smelt the steel, machine the parts, assemble the satellite and blast it into orbit. Still, turning off an 11-watt Ecodim bulb will counteract all of that in a trice.


  2. I always celebrate ‘Earth Hour’, religiously. I figure that turning on every light in the house just for one evening won’t impact too badly on the electricity bill, and it’s a small price to pay if we can get this global warming thing going properly. It all seems to have stalled a bit over the last decade. Yes, they’re absolutely right, we do need to show support for action on climate change (whatever happened to ‘global warming?). I for one think it would be jolly good if the earth warmed up a few degrees, so I’ll be doing my bit to help it happen.

    You have to get involved in these global movements, what?


  3. Dear Leg-iron

    These people really are taking the Michael:

    ” … about the small things we can all do to make a brighter future.”

    Not sure how you manage that in the dark.

    Anyone living in a mud hut without power, heat or running water who had the misfortune to learn of this would consider all those involved to be absolute loons.

    I’ll have all the lights on for Earth Hour – celebrating human life on Earth as it should be for all. Think how much electricity I’ll save when I turn most of them off until the next year.



  4. Even if we turn off all our electric appliances the power station generators will presumably still be turning and using fuel for that hour? all that is then is a shocking waste of fuel, so what`s the point?


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