Pork scratchings.

I love pork scratchings. Dired and heavily salted little lumps of roasted fat and skin. Wonderful. Not remotely good for me, I accept that, but come one, the best part of roast pork is the crispy skin and it’s even better rolled in salt.

You can keep your crisps and your Monster Munch, when it’s treat time, pass the salted pig fat.

It has to be an occasional thing, like steak, or it’s not a treat. So I don’t have them every day, or even every week. Once in a while though, a pack of six small packs of pork scratchings will vanish in an evening. They are cheap too because the drones think they will die if they even see the glitzy packaging. Shiny with a smiling pig on the front – all that’s missing is a speech bubble saying ‘Burn me and eat my skin along with my subcutaneous fat after dipping that and my skinned body in salt’.

When I was at school, the group of tatty scruffs I hung around with thought that one punishment missing from the law was ‘cut them off at the knee and stand them in a bucket of salt’. Apparently most people start out left-wing when young and develop into right-wing as they age. One of our group is now a filthy Trot, socialist worker, all that crap. Not me. I’m so far right I’m outta sight. Fortunately, so is the one who had all the muscles. But I digress – but you expected that.

SaltRighteous morphed into SugarRighteous a while back because there was no mileage in banning or taxing salt. It’s already dirt cheap anyway and they failed to get the drones interested. It had no visible target. They could blame fat people on fat until what’s left of science finally admitted that fat does not make you fat – carbohydrates do. They can attack smokers and fat people because they are visible, but you can’t tell who likes salt unless you’re standing behind them in the chip shop. Even then it’s not easy. You no longer get to add your own salt, an indoctrinated sixteen-year-old asks if you want salt and if you say yes, they show the salt cellar to your chips.

Now they have come up with a plan. Salt causes ageing of the skin. Salt will soon have the same picture of old hands that has been used for years on tobacco.

What they really found was that salt causes problems iif combined with obesity, but has no effect at all if you’re not obese. The Mail helpfully incudes a picture of a young fatty stuffing an entire packet of crisps into his face and another of an old, normal-sized guy having a heart attack. So there you are having a heart attack and the bloody reporter decides to take a photo instead of calling an ambulance. What a git.

As usual, it’s all bollocks. This limit of grams per day is also stupid. You need salt in a milligrams per kilogram equation – the more kilograms you contain, the more milligrams you need. Your kidneys will get rid of excess, that’s what they do. Far too much and your kidneys will give up but your taste buds should alert you long before then.

Comments are interesting. The drones believe that ‘manufactured’ salt is in some way impure while pink salt from the Himalayas is pure. Hint: If it’s pink, it’s not pure salt.

Just as they believe the Pharmers’ nicotine products contain ‘better’ nicotine than tobacco and that the acetic acid in vinegar produced one way is different from the acetic acid in vinegar produced another way.

These are all very simple molecules. Your body cannot tell and does not care how it was made. It’s the same atoms in the same arrangement.

So they are going to kill off the fat people by making them scared of salt, while those of us who, so far, still fit within the rapidly narrowing ‘normal weight ‘ band can carry on eating pork scratchings.

We’re all going to die. We all have a limited time to live. We can choose to enjoy it or spend our whole lives worrying about it. It makes no difference in the end.

I don’t want to end up in a hospital bed, dying of nothing.

Instead, they can now put me down as a smoking, drinking, butter, sugar and pork scratchings related death. So I’ll have died five times.

At this rate I’ll have had more lives than a cat.



53 thoughts on “Pork scratchings.

  1. I have been eating vast quantities of Salt since I was three years old. My grandmother warning me about it was my first living memory. I am now 75 and still eating vast quantities of Salt.
    PS. I don’t care how I get it or on what.


  2. I’d stock up on the pork scratchings if I were you. Bound to get the bansturbators attention sooner rather than later.

    After all, pork, fat, salt, what’s not to like about banning them?


    • Easy to make by saturating the crackling from a pork roast in salt. It helps to rub salt into the dismembered limb before cooking.

      Just don’t rub any into the bleeding stump of the pig you took it from. They don’t like it.


  3. “‘manufactured’ salt is in some way impure while pink salt from the Himalayas is pure”

    Also, what’s this TV chef obsession with sea salt all about? Have they seen what’s floating around in that marine toilet, ffs?


    • There’s too much magnesium++ ions in sea salt. Too much of that _is_ actually rather bad for you as Legiron will attest. That’s why you mustn’t drink seawater in desperation, when you will have been torpedoed in mid-atlantic by the GramscoFabians, and are unfortunate enough to survive a little.

      Ordinary nice sodium chloride from Cheshire mines is quite OK.


    • Sea salt is what got Gandhi into a lot of trouble. Back then, of course, it wasn’t quite so full of shit.

      It’s a wonderful thing to hear the same dopey hippie tell me that the seas are polluted and radioactive, there’s a pile of plastic the size of Texas floating in the Pacific, the sea is so poisonous all the fish are dying, cigarette ends taint the ocean with nicotine – and then he insists he must only use sea salt.

      I haven’t told him. I’m saving this one because it’s going to be a big one.

      As for me, I prefer the stuff from the salt mines. At least it’s not full of fish crap.


    • Your nervous system needs both potassium and sodium to work. The reason we use sodium chloride as salt is that it’s cheap, we just dig it out of the ground or dry it out of the sea.

      Potassium chloride is a bit more costly. Anyway, to get a good dose of potassium, eat a banana.

      In an ideal world, table salt would be half sodium chloride and half potassium chloride. But we are a long way from an ideal world, and getting further away each day.


  4. Entirely off topic

    Leggy, can you help me, you being a proper scientist.

    Recently there has been a rash of comments on nicotine being a pesticide, which of course it is.

    But the real commercial pesticide which was used for over a hundred years on just about everything was called Black Leaf 40

    nicotine (Black Leaf 40) Chemical Profile 4/85

    TRADE NAME(S): Black Leaf 40 (56)

    FORMULATION(S): Nicotine alkaloid, 95%; nicotine sulfate, 40%


    “Little hazard to birds, fish and beneficial insects. Biological magnification unlikely

    Approximate Residual Period: Very short, 1 day on plants; same in soil and water”

    My question is what do you use to turn something into a sulphate?

    Reading Eagle – 1977

    “Make it all come true with
    Black Leaf 40 Garden Spray
    Natures Own Bug Killer”

    “You can protect your precious plants without harming the ecology or the environment by spraying with Black Leaf 40, known for over 97 years as America’s most effective garden spray.”

    “Black Leaf Products Company

    Serving American Gardeners with Quality Products Since 1879.”

    The pesticide remarks were in relation to stories about people spilling e-cig juice on themselves and having to be rushed to hospital.

    Before anyone gets worried –

    When is a pesticide not a pesticide?

    – when it’s your lunch.

    ‘Killer Spices’ Provide Eco-friendly Pesticides For Organic Fruits And Veggies

    “Mention rosemary, thyme, clove, and mint and most people think of a delicious meal. Think bigger…acres bigger. These well-known spices are now becoming organic agriculture’s key weapons against insect pests as the industry tries to satisfy demands for fruits and veggies among the growing portion of consumers who want food produced in more natural ways.”

    “These substances represent a relatively new class of natural insecticides that show promise as an environmentally-friendly alternative to conventional pesticides while also posing less risk to human and animal health, the researcher says.

    “We are exploring the potential use of natural pesticides based on plant essential oils — commonly used in foods and beverages as flavorings,” says study presenter Murray Isman, Ph.D., of the University of British Columbia.

    These new pesticides are generally a mixture of tiny amounts of two to four different spices diluted in water.
    Some kill insects outright, while others repel them.”
    http: //www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/08/090816170910.htm


    • Black Leaf wouldn;t be related to Black Cavendish would it? A very mild tobacco made by steaming leaves for hours. Most of the soluble stuff would be in the drip-tray underneath, including most of the nicotine. The process turns the leaf black.

      Sulphate is SO4, a sulphur and four oxygens. I suppose the easiest way to make a sulphate would be to add nicotine solution to sulphuric acid. Not concentrated, adding water to the concentrated stuff can be a bit dodgy. Quite how you would separate your new nicotine sulphate from the reamining nicotine without at least access to a gas chromatograph column (and now I am showing my age!) I’m not sure.

      Then again, maybe the sulphate is produced during the leaf processing and doesn’t really matter other than to add to the total nicotine content of the pesticide?


      • In my experience nicotine doesn’t kill anything, the best a tobacco leaf can manage by itself is a thin layer of almost microscopic insects that have settled on a wet leaf over night and that is very, very rarely. Butterflies and bees sunbathe on them and can still fly away in a straight line.

        I was wondering why they had to turn nicotine into a sulphate to be effective as a pesticide.

        Mum’s pre-war gardening books taught me well.

        Derris and Pyrethrum for Insect Control – 1936

        http: //www.thompson-morgan.com/flowers/flower-seeds/perennial-and-biennial-seeds/pyrethrum-tandm-superb-mixture/1700TM


  5. These are all very simple molecules. Your body cannot tell and does not care how it was made. It’s the same atoms in the same arrangement.

    When hippy health food stores first started popping up in the early 70s I found it hard to swallow the argument that supermarket carrots were killing me (with GMO’s) while the organic variety (at about 4 times the cost) would lead to a long, happy-sappy life full of sunshine, lollipops and rainbows everywhere.

    Leggy, would you please weigh in on the GMO controversy for me? I trust your opinion over that of Harry the Organic Hippy farmer/scientist/astrologer any day of the week.

    I’ve just learned that the Garden of Eden carrot that these folks genuflect to wasn’t even orange in color, nor sweet.


    • Not orange and not sweet? I’d hate to break it to them but those carrots are parsnips.

      I’m going to try growing carrots this year. I have a pack of seeds. I’ll probasbly go for a crop of baby carrots because space is limited and I like to eat babies.

      The GMO thing will take a long time to show whether it causes any harm or not. At the moment it doesn’t – to those of us eating the stuff. But it might be long term and nobody has yet been eating it long term.

      The big thing with GMO is the corporate control of nature. There have been moves to ban the sale of all seeds so that the GM companies can sell us all new seeds every year, just like they do to those farmers they pretend to help. The companies want this extended to allotments and back gardens so nobody can just keep seed from one year and plant them the next.

      I think the health scares are a red herring. The economic scare is the biggie.


  6. Some chap I know has been exhorting me to buy some special salt. Himalayan Salt he says and the, I must admit, rather interestingly named Celtic Sea Salt. More iodine apparently and special kinds of iodine too (I forget why), and of such potency that it will cause your thyroid gland to repel radiation sickness …….. from all the nukes that have been dropped (??)

    I must admit there seems a tiny bit of science jangling around in there, as in – there’s iodine in salt…… or at least in seaweed – which is kind of loosely related. But there are impediments to me taking his advice fully:

    He mentions David Icke and that mad, gobby Yank.

    He’s as thin as a rake

    He drinks 39p lager from Aldi.

    He’s into the paedo hysteria.

    He thinks he likes the idea of civil war.

    The said salts are probably a tenner an egg-cupful, instead of 19p a kg at Aldi. Or even 39p at Tesco.

    I think that Himalayan Salt is pink too. It’s like pink shirts – it’s a feminazi ploy. The Celtic sounds like a better option, if I must.


    • The War Secretariat has taken note of this “Himalayan salt” bandwagon, and will be taking names of its praise-singers as candidates for places on the one-way penal-boats to the South Sandwich Islands.

      This has been chosen as a good destination for Ageing Hippies and other sorts of GramscoFabiaNazis with whom they will feel comfortable. For on these rock-stacks, there will not be anything of what these people say is bad to eat, smoke, inject or whatever.

      We can, by satellite, view them scragging, butchering and eating each other raw.


  7. I look after my 94 yo Mum, I cook dinner (at lunch time). I cook old fashioned stuff, with dumplings, pastry and all of those things which are supposed to be bad for her. She’s fucking enjoying herself, what else am I supposed to do? Bunged outta da pub.


  8. It’s about time Black Puddings were mentioned too. A jewel among hog meats. I bet you can’t get them in France. I could just devour a brace of them now.


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