The PaedoEye has turned on Cyril Smith. Hard to believe nobody noticed him before. You’d have needed a stepladder to overlook him.
Strange how all these tales come out when the perpetrator is conveniently dead. You can blame the dead for anything. There’s sod all they can do about it. Cyril Smith can’t even come back as a ghost, there isn’t enough ectoplasm on the planet to allow him to materialise.
I blame Cyril Smith for the Earth’s axial tilt, especially now he’s stopped moving around and is buried in one place. Local gravity fields will have warped around his burial place, a depression orbited by pies. Please don’t let them bury John Prescott nearby or the planet will topple. Rumour has it that part of the Pennines only came into existence when they had to find somewhere to dump the excess earth from his grave.
I digress, but that lot just had to come out. It’s the whisky talking. I have some very chatty whisky here. The sort that has more to say than ‘Drink me’.
There is a Labour MP claiming that Cyril ‘Planetoid’ Smith was just part of a high level paedo ring operating at the heart of Government and silencing anyone who tried to disclose what was going on. I don’t know which Labour MP. It was something I read in Local Rag at work today – the sort of Local Rag that would have headlined the sinking of the Titanic as ‘Aberdeen couple lost at sea’. There is a longstanding rumour that they really did that but it’s not true. There were two couples.
Anyway, there have long been people claiming the existence of a high level paedo ring. As conspiracy theories go, it’s easy to laugh off but impossible to refute with evidence. We all know what a lot of those MPs are like – in it for themselves, out of touch with reality, pervy orange-sucking self-throttling while masturbating weirdos. They aren’t all like that. There are one or two who have some contact with reality now and then. Some don’t even suck oranges while masturbating, I hear.
Which gives rise to a wonderful yes/no question to ask the unwary. “Do you suck oranges while masturbating with a ligature around your neck? Yes or no”. Add it to the list that begins “Have you stopped beating your wife?” To which the only sensible answer is “I tried to, but she won’t let me.”
If such a ring exists, it is in a position to silence all those who try to reveal it. Consider the paedo motivation from the other angle – it is not that teachers and priests are all paedos, but that paedos will try to get jobs as teachers and priests. They will try to get into a position where they have access to the snot-nosed, disease-ridden objects of their utterly incomprehensible lust. Some will inevitably get through because that criminal records check only works on those who have one. For a peado, getting into a position where you have control of every child in the country and an army of SS to get them for you must be the ultimate dream.
But then, it has to be said, the Church often doesn’t help itself…
Back to the point, although I should point out at this point that the point I intend to point at has not been sharpened, is probably dull and likely to be pointless. Pressing on regardless…
What if there really is a paedo ring in government, still, to this day? What if they keep getting their paedo pals into positions of pokery power? What if it’s all true? What if that bloke they keep arresting for shouting about the Holly Greig case is right after all? What if all those forced adoptions and SS-stolen children really were stolen to order? What if?
What would be their logical course of action?
Well let’s see. First they would have to try to blame it all on someone else. That will only stave off the inevitable Eventually they will still be found out. So blaming it on the Savilator and others of his time might have worked – if it wasn’t for the inconvenience of the live ones actually defending themselves and being found not guilty.
Blaming it on celebs didn’t work. Blaming it on priests and teachers has not worked. Getting kids as young as five to learn about sex, both straight and (ahem) ‘alternative’ hasn’t made it go away. That will work, but it’ll take years. When those kids grow up they will see the connection between sex and infants as normal. This is horrifying, disgusting, and adds a whole new and exceptionally vicious slant to Panoptica, the book-in-process that cannot keep up with reality.
All of this has done one thing. It has immunised the public against it all. So Mr. Pebbleglasses has been found to be whipping out his unmentionables in front of the nursery class. At first, shock horror. Now, increasingly – Yawn, another one.
Finally, then, we come to the place where the politicians reveal their dead paedos. Cyril Smith first, since there have been hints and stories for years. I bet Ted Heath is next because he’s also conveniently dead and because there are already rumours that link him with the Savilator.
So I predict, with my hat wrapped in tinfoil, that this will culminate in “We used to have a paedo ring in government but we don’t now, honest. Hello small boy, do you want to see some puppies? (cough) The microphone is off, isn’t it?”
I used to laugh at all conspiracy theories. I didn’t even believe in the existence of Common Purpose, but I have since seen the amateurishly exaggerated body language of their crazed wench-in-charge on YouTube. She could learn a lot from Jeeves’ ultra-subtle inflections of the word ‘Indeed’. Well she could, if she was capable, but she isn’t.
So now it makes me wonder. What if it’s all true? The logic attaching events to this theory is sound, but that does not in itself make the theory correct. It only makes it possible or at most probable. When the people in the spotlight are the ones with the power to turn off the spotlight it’s very hard to be sure.
Opinions are welcome, even those that say I’m bonkers.