There is a fantastic place in California. They deliver fried chicken, pizza, anything you want to eat… and they deliver alcohol and cigarettes too. Look along their top menu bar.
Apart from, perhaps, their vegetarian option, everything they sell will send the Bansturbators into apoplexy. Everything. And they deliver. Unfortunately not to Scotland.
I didn’t think you could buy tobacco as a takeaway delivery in the UK but it turns out Tesco do it. At horrible prices. I’m surprised every image isn’t just a picture of a little door. Apparently there is no danger of cheeeldren seeing these packs online because they are all too busy watching fisting videos (DO NOT look that up. I didn’t believe it when someone told me about it, many years ago, looked it up and the revolting images I found will be in my head until I die).
Also in California is the other extreme. Picked up via the #Octabber group on Farcebok is the news that a city in California is the first to ban smoking in all homes, including private residences.
Halfway up the west coast of Wales is the stair where I sit – wait, I’m channeling that damn frog again. Ahem.
Halfway up the west coast of Wales is a place called Aberystwyth. I went there for a job interview once. It is a very long way from anywhere at all other than the attractively named Borth, the next town. The only roads are really, really twisty and have that uppiness and downiness to the extreme. The Romans never saw this place, they gave up long before getting that far. It’s not possible to build more than five feet of straight road on that landscape.
There is a single track railway that crosses the estuary at Borth on an old wooden bridge that looks like this. Oh, it’s all very picturesquee but that bridge is very, very old and often closed for repairs. The only other way out is over the mountains by tractor or well-waxed racing sheep.
Nevertheless, it is a popular holiday destination even though the locals hate everyone to an extent that makes Royston Vasey seem like a left-wing multiculti paradise.
A little over a decade ago, the overwhelmingly leftie people of Aberystwyth (yes, they are all Labour or Plaid Cymru voters, all for immigration but not in their town) decided that nobody should be allowed to buy a house in Aberystwyth unless they had lived there for two years. They really did.
The result was predictable, to all but the dense and sinister Left.
House prices plummeted. Nobody could sell because the pool of buyers was so restricted. Only those in rented accomodation and had been renting for two years were able to buy. They were in rented accomodation because they couldn’t afford to buy. So they didn’t.
This particular insanity was almost instantly scrapped.
This will happen in California. If 20% of people there smoke (I don’t know the real figure, it might be lower since if I lived in California I’d have moved out long ago and many smokers probably have) then the market for buyers for any home that is not stand-alone just dropped by 20%. If you have a wall that joins on to next door, or an apartment, a smoker doesn’t want it. They will not be allowed to smoke in the home they have paid for.
You want to attract the next Einstein to your town? Oh dear, they won’t want to live there. All you will be left with are your antismoking drones and the hate-filled hand-wavers. Then Panoptica will be reality. Maybe I should give up on that one. California is just about there.
Californians still believe that tobacco smoke passes through solid walls while simultaneously believing that dope smoke does not –
The law will also not impact marijuana smokers, only tobacco users.
Just how much dope are they smoking over there?
If you smoke tobacco in California, put a bit of dope in it. Just enough to make it stink of dope-smoke so the dopes think their walls will protect them from the magically transcendendent power of God’s True Leaf. Or, burn a dope-scented candle while smoking. Your opponents are not intelligent at all, don’t expect them to catch on. Oh and when you move away from California as all sensible people eventually will, leave them a note explaining why they are about to die.
In California, you can have tobacco delivered to your home but you can’t smoke it in there. You must believe that walls are permeable to only one type of smoke and that only one type of smoke will make you die. If your neighbour smokes a cigarette you must report them so they can be stoned to death but if they are spaced out on Mary the Iguana, standing naked on their balcony and reciting the entire Iliad in a voice that sounds like Donald Duck – don’t bother the police, that ‘s fine and legal.
When Dorothy said to Toto ‘I don’t think we’re in Kansas any more,’ I think I now know where they were.