What are little ciggies made of?

Snips and snails and puppy-dog tails, if you believe the latest desperate rubbish masquerading as ‘science’.

Once more we have 4000 chemicals in every cigarette. It’s a wonder anyone can pick one of these things up. They must weigh a ton, what with all that tobacco leaf as well as the stockroom of a medium sized chemist in every little paper tube.

This is the really bizarre part –

From nail polish remover to rat poison, one website has revealed some of the most shocking cigarette ingredients.

And there we were thinking that they were made out of leaves. No, according to a bunch of gibbering baboons from North Carolina, they are brewed by witches under a full moon with eye of newt and wing of bat, polish of nail and poison of rat. High-pitched cackle time.

These are not ‘ingredients’. You cannot add carbon monoxide or butane to anything because they are gases and will just float away. These are compounds found in… just about anything. Carbon monoxide is the result of an incomplete combustion and the amount you’ll get from a cigarette is as nothing compared to what a dodgy boiler can pump out.

The graphic is nothing short of comical. Butane is billed as ‘lighter fluid’ and illustrated with a picture of lighter fluid and a Zippo. Hexamine is billed as ‘barbecue lighter’ and illustrated with a butane-powered barbecue lighter. So if butane in trace quantities is deadly, what about all those drones holding a canister of it when they light their barbecues? They have just poisoned all of the food.

Stearic acid is indeed in candle wax so anyone who lights a candle is certain to die at once. It’s also in beeswax and will be found in honey. It is likely to be in tobacco because it is a natural product formed by living cells so it’s in everything. It’s in you. Now. In far, far greater quantities than in any cigarette.

Ammonia is billed as toilet cleaner. Who the Hell cleans toilets with ammonia? You’d pass out from the fumes. Ammonia is also a gas so cannot be an ‘ingredient’ of the witches brew the drones believe cigarettes are made of.

Methane. Sewer gas. Also the gas that comes out of your gas cooker and gas fire. You are heating your home and cooking your food on sewer gas, drones. Incidentally, methane, being a gas… oh never mind.

Acetic acid. Vinegar. So the drones fear vinegar, do they? File that one under ‘have plenty much fun with later’. If they believe tobacco contains vinegar,. wait until they hear how vinegar is made – by extracting it from tobacco plants. Ho ho ho.

Nicotine is indeed an insecticide but it’s not the one in those spray cans that can knock a fly out of the air in seconds. That stuff is much nastier. Still, if the drones believe it, then they’ll just have to stop spraying nicotine around when plagued by flies, won’t they? They can be convinced that it’s much healthier to just let the flies stay. I am certain of that.

Cadmium and arsenic are elements found pretty much everywhere in trace amounts. They are not deliberately added to each cigarette.

Paint. WTF? Paint? What colour? Dulux or Crown? They most likely mean the ink used to colour the filter end of the paper. Paint? How far can you push the stupidity and still have the drones accepting it? So far, in my experience, there is no limit but even I had not thought of paint. I think they should be told it’s tartan paint, produced in Scotland by dissolving kilts in whisky.

My cigarettes just contain leaves. I don’t add any of those things. All of them are likely to be present (except paint) because all of them are present in any leaf, anywhere, including lettuce, curly kale and hemlock. Even Popeye took in far more of those chemicals from his spinach than from his pipe.

Methanol as rocket fuel, eh? Only in Hillbilly country. If methanol was any good as rocket fuel then NASA will be kicking themselves. It’s a damn sight cheaper than the fuel they’ve been using. Just think, they could have gone to the moon on moonshine. Yee-ha! “That’s one small (hic) step for a man, and… that’s as far as I’m going.”

If there are 4000 chemicals in one gram of cigarette then they are present at 1/4000th of a gram each in a cigarette that contains no tobacco leaf at all, just chemicals. Real cigarettes are mostly cellulose and starch.They are biodegradable, vegetarian and unsalted. All the things that are supposed to be so good these days.

And yet a few parts per million of cyanide is a cause for terror? Ever eaten almonds? Every one of these traces of death can scare an antismoker into a full trouser-soiling apoplectic fear-fest.

I say, do it. Every single one of their ridiculous claims can be turned around on their drones. Every one. Turn them back. If they fear barbecue lighter chemicals in tiny amounts, why are they buying barbecue lighters in concentrated form? If they fear toilet cleaner chemicals in trace amounts, why do they have bottles full of the deadly stuff in their homes? If methane is sewer gas, why are they cooking their dinner over it?

Every time you meet one of these drones, stay calm, be rational, and just make up any old shit you feel like saying. Terrify them with the things they have been conditioned to fear. They will believe it. They will believe anything.

That article proves it.

 

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24 thoughts on “What are little ciggies made of?

  1. Leggy, I remember you saying that readymades tasted chemical, and I remarked that if you left a rollie it would go out, but a ready-made would burn away…that’s why I smoked rollups!

    As for the trace of butane, could that be from the lighter?

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    • The butane could well be from the lighter since their graphic suggests they have no idea what butane actually is. It could also be from butyric acid, something produced by many forms of living cells.

      It’s not just dead tobacco leaves. There will be bacteria on them – there are bacteria on everything – and those bacteria will be incinerated when the baccy burns.

      So, if ithere is one thing on the planet that you cannot possibly catch an infection from, it’s a cigarette. Unless you share one with a drooling leper, but that, I suspect, is a rare thing.

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  2. I came across more or less the same article yesterday in ‘Medical Daily’

    What Is In A Cigarette? Chemicals and Ingredient List Confirm How Dangerous Smoking Really Is

    http://www.medicaldaily.com/what-cigarette-chemicals-and-ingredient-list-confirm-how-dangerous-smoking-really-279718

    I left a comment, the bulk of which I lifted from one of Rose’s comments that I’d saved (thanks Rose! :))

    For some odd reason that I cannot for the life of me fathom, my comment hasn’t appeared yet…

    So I’ll repeat it here:

    “Scaremongering rubbish. The first rule of toxicology:

    The dose makes the poison.

    But if you want to play silly games with frightening sounding ingredients, I can play that game too:

    Chocolate contains:

    “Acetic-acid, aesculetin, alanine, alkaloids, alpha-sitosterol,
    alpha-theosterol, amyl-acetate, amyl-alcohol, amyl-butyrate, amylase,
    apigenin-7-o-glucoside, arabinose, arachidic-acid, arginine, ascorbic-acid,
    ascorbic-acid-oxidase, aspariginase, beta-carotene, beta-sitosterol,
    beta-theosterol, biotin, caffeic-acid, caffeine, calcium, campesterol,
    catalase, catechins, catechol, cellulase, cellulose, chlorogenic-acid,
    chrysoeriol-7-o-glucoside, citric-acid, coumarin, cyanidin,
    cyanidin-3-beta-l-arabinoside, cyanidin-3-galactoside, cyanidin-glycoside,
    cycloartanol”

    http://www.rain-tree.com/chocolate.htm#.U1WSm6Lx0dU

    And that’s only up to C.

    It’s very easy to mislead people. As a journal that purports to be informative, you should be ashamed of yourselves.”

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  3. I love it when they come out with this shit.

    I especially love it when the number of chemicals keeps increasing. The highest number I have heard was 7,200. The guy who told me was stunned when I said “Great”. “What do you mean ‘great’ ” he asked. I said that the more they find the smaller they become. Mike McFadden has some fantastic examples of how much of each ‘nasty chemical’ an innocent non-smoker would have to ingest before even feeling slightly icky, never mind dead.

    My personal favourite is Polonium 210. A sandal-wearing, tree-hugging veggie will insist that the P-210 in your ciggies is killing you, man. Whilst ignoring the fact that his lettuce* sammich contains around 1,000 times more P-210 than a carton of ciggies. It makes I larf, it does.

    *Polonium 210 (a daughter of Radon, I think), is found in all broad leaved plants. It has a half-life of 110 days.

    Bring it on, I say. Discover another 50,000 chemicals. All it does is make my smokes safer.

    CR.

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    • Nothing in second hand smoke will really harm even the most feeble of drones – but they believe it will. The placebo effect is a fun and powerful thing, it can clog up all of the NHS and bring it to its plastic knees, given time and persistence 😉

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  4. Methanol as rocket fuel, eh? Only in Hillbilly country. If methanol was any good as rocket fuel then NASA will be kicking themselves

    Ouch, that’s closer to the truth than you think.

    “During World War II, methanol was used as a fuel in several German military rocket designs, under the name M-Stoff, and in a roughly 50/50 mixture with hydrazine, known as C-Stoff”
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Methanol

    Wernher von Braun

    “Before the Allied capture of the V-2 rocket complex, von Braun engineered the surrender of 500 of his top rocket scientists, along with plans and test vehicles, to the Americans. For fifteen years after World War II, von Braun would work with the United States army in the development of ballistic missiles.As part of a military operation called Project Paperclip, he and his “rocket team” were scooped up from defeated Germany and sent to America where they were installed at Fort Bliss, Texas.”

    “In 1960, his rocket development center transferred from the army to the newly established NASA and received a mandate to build the giant Saturn rockets. Accordingly, von Braun became director of NASA’s Marshall Space Flight Center and the chief architect of the Saturn V launch vehicle, the superbooster that would propel Americans to the Moon.”
    http://history.nasa.gov/sputnik/braun.html

    Over the past few years my research into anti-tobacco’s tenuous connections has been wide and various, but rarely dull.

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    • Oho, so their reference to rocket fuel links to their Nazi roots. Makes sense. They have probably copied all of this from the Nazi propaganda without any of it passing through a single brain cell for verification.

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      • Dead giveaway isn’t it?

        My first foray into anti-tobacco rocketry.

        On the Dangers of Cigarette Equivalents: More Misleading Claims by Anti-Smoking Groups – 2007

        “In order to promote smoking bans to protect nonsmokers from the hazards of secondhand smoke exposure, a number of anti-smoking groups are appropriately providing estimates of the cigarette equivalent exposure of nonsmokers.”

        “For example, if I say that the level of NDMA in a restaurant is 0.05 ng/L, it might not mean anything to a policy maker. But if I say that the amount of NDMA that a nonsmoker working in such a restaurant would inhale over an 8-hour shift is the same amount inhaled by an active smoker of 1 pack of cigarettes per day [this is just a hypothetical example], that provides a lot more meaningful data for the policy maker.”
        http://tobaccoanalysis.blogspot.co.uk/2007/12/on-dangers-of-cigarette-equivalents.html

        But he didn’t explain to us what NDMA was, so I thought it my duty to find out.

        “NDMA is found in the diet, in various meat and cured meat products (600 to 1,000 ng/kg in fried pork bacon), fish and fish products, beer (50 to 5,900 ng/kg), milk (90 to 100 ng/L) [III] , cheese, soybean oil, canned fruit, and apple brandy. In the body, NDMA is formed when acidic conditions in the stomach catalyze the reaction between nitrite and dimethylamine (DMA)”

        San Francisco water department
        http: //sfwater.org/detail.cfm/MC_ID/10/ … /C_ID/1865
        Link no longer works.

        “NDMA is an industrial by-product or waste product of several industrial processes. Manufacturing of unsymmetrical dimethylhydrazine (UDMH), which is a component of rocket fuel that requires NDMA for its synthesis,”

        “Of more general concern, water treatment via chlorination or chloramination of organic nitrogen-containing wastewater can lead to the production of NDMA at potentially harmful levels”
        http: //en.wikipedia.org/wiki/N-Nitrosodimethylamine

        Case Study: NDMA Treatment at NASA
        White Sands Test Facility – 2006

        WSTF groundwater has been contaminated
        as a result of historical rocket engine testing
        operations.”
        http://www.frtr.gov/pdf/meetings/dec06/zigmond0120606.pdf

        Anti-tobacco and the V2 rocket.

        Nazi Medicine and Public Health Policy
        By Robert N. Proctor

        “Anyone who has ever examined a V-2 engine will have few doubts about this, and there are numerous other examples. During the Nazi era, German scientists and engineers either developed or greatly improved television, jet-propelled aircraft (including the ejection seat), guided missiles, electronic computers, the electron microscope, atomic fission, data-processing technologies, pesticides, and, of course, the world’s first industrial murder complexes. The first magnetic tape recording was of a speech by Hitler, and the nerve gases Sarin and Tabun were Nazi inventions.”
        http: //archive.adl.org/braun/dim_14_1_nazi_med.html#.U2StkKKhcdV

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  5. Meanwhile my e-juice lists the ingredients as:
    1. Herbal extract
    2. Glycerol
    3. Propylene glycol
    (I especially like the herbal extract bit!)
    How long before the same drones ‘discover’ 10,000 ‘chemicals’ in that too?
    I am currently working on my own space program to reach Mars on a mixture of rhubarb and custard flavours.

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    • The ‘extract’ will no doubt contain all the chemicals found in the ‘herb’ but in far, far smaller amounts than in actual leaf. They will be detected as parts per billion, at levels where you would need to drink a pint of e-juice a day to have any effect at all, and they will declare them ‘deadly’.

      Because they only have to convince the drones, and the drones are stupid.

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  6. Cigarette snails. Conus. If one of those stings you, you have just about enough time for one last smoke before snuffing it. That’s what cigarettes are made of. I’m sure you can have fun with that one, Leggy. Odd synchronicity. F**king Walpurgisnacht also. I bet Smoking Santa had a hand in this. I need to ask my Puritan handler about the correct course of action. Polonium is oddly synchronous too. And then there was the cluricaun…

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conus#Risks

    Forgive my crypticness. It’s been a strange few days. I came here with the intention of sharing cigarette snail trivia before I even read this piece. Yesterday I watched an episode of Person of Interest in which a hapless surgeon got poisoned with polonium. And there really was a leprechaun. And much Jameson.

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    • If you get stung by a cigarette snail, I bet it would count as a smoking related death even if you didn’t have that last smoke.

      So… when French restaurants serve snails, is that renormalising cigarette snails? Are slug/snail pellets funded by ASH in case a cigarette snails shows up? Slugs and snails love to eat tobacco (I had to install little spittoons for them) but there are cigarette snails too, so do we kill all the snails in case they renormalise cigarettes or encourage the snails because they wreck tobacco plants…

      You could tie a drone’s brain into a pretzel with this sort of thing 😀

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    • Don’t run in the rain, you’ll hit more drops. That’s 1976 vintage, I was a right bugger for messing with heads even then. I lost count of how many have tried to apply reasoning to that statement. “But… surely you are missing the drops that would have hit you if you stayed still so… ah, but you hit ones that would have missed the front of you…”

      Just drop in the statement and let them tangle their neurones over it. The simple answer is that once you are soaked through, it doesn’t matter at all.

      There can never be enough links to DHMO. One day, the Mail will pick it up.

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    • Since dropping into the janitor job, I have come into real contact with the drone-world. Possibly for the first time since leaving school, and I had little contact with the knuckle-draggers even then. Before this job I would meet occasional drones when they sniffed and hand-waved at me smoking. Now I meet them every day and…

      …most are pretty nice people, if a bit limited in conversation. The ones who think themselves important are the best ones, they consider me to be some two-O-level mop-jockey and I am happy to let them feel superior. They don’t even know when they are being insulted.

      Meeting so many, so often, it is true that they will literally believe any old shit you care to make up. That is what really makes the job fun, and I’m not just talking about tormenting the antismokers. There are harmless lies to tell too.

      There are some where I have had to wonder how they find their way out of bed in the morning. And they can vote!

      Explains a lot.

      Oh, and even in the world of academia, there are plenty of gullible idiots to play with. Office politics in Local Shop is child’s play. Try surviving it in a place where nobody has an IQ below 120, even the girl on the front desk. Now I work with people who don’t know what IQ means! If I am still there in another year, the janitor will be running ther shop. It might well be an improvement.

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