I expect every smoky, drinky and/or eaty blog is going to jump on this one. Dick Puddlecote already has, but then he does get up a lot earlier than me. I bet he is often up before noon. He probably has some form of insomnia. Max Farquar has the original Mail front page before the editor spat his tea all over it.
The Great Moribundo has laid out his plans for us all, and as with all the main parties’ plans for us all, they include nothing anyone anywhere could possibly mistake for ‘enjoyment’. This stunt double for Wallace actually thinks we will vote for compulsory Puritanism.
Some will, because some people are indeed insufferably puritanical. Others will vote for Moribund because they are Labour supporters and don’t actually understand what they are voting for. Still others will vote for him because they are stupid, and he will get a lot of votes from the sort of people who stare at their shoes for hours, trying to work out how to put the laces into flip-flops.
Aside from where the above sections overlap with real people, he has just lost a lot of votes from those who drink, smoke, like to sit around in front of the TV all day and/or are fans of Frosties, burgers, pizza and those things in batter that almost taste like chicken. So that’s pretty much Labour’s current core vote.
I think he’s fallen for his lobbyists’ hype. All the politicians hear these days are the whining of the lobbyists. “There is massive public support” for smoking bans, plain packs, booze control, diet control, and all the rest and it is all entirely fabricated. As the swing to UKIP – despite the constant portrayal of that party in the press as being composed of people almost as insane as those in Wastemonster now – should demonstrate to a politician with a brain. Even if it’s in a jar on his desk with ‘For emergency use only’ stencilled on it.
That’s all they hear since they stopped listening to real people. “There is massive public support for this new measure we haven’t yet told anyone about. Look how many signatures we have written, um, collected.” Now the effects are filtering through. Moribund must genuinely believe that turning the country into a less appealing version of North Korea is what the public want. Either that, or he really does not want to win the next election.
In his place, neither would I. The country is on the edge of anarchy and I would not want to be in the history books as the one who was in charge when it happened. Maybe they are all trying to lose. It certainly seems that way. Maybe Clegg is not as stupid as he looks (it would be quite a feat anyway) and is making damn sure none of his party are going to get blamed for the coming collapse.
I don’t see UKIP winning the next Parliamentary election. They might get a seat or two but the voter apathy is too entrenched for them to make big inroads into government next year. All the drones know is that they put their X next to the blue or the red or the yellow or that colour the SNP use that is a sort of yellow (I am not good with colours but exceptionally good at monochrome). They will do it again next year even though they know it will hurt. Some people – many people, it appears – never learn not to try to catch the flame.
Maybe I will be surprised. I hope so, but really don’t expect it. UKIP seems still to be mainly Nigel Farage in the news plus a few loonies on the fringe. He must have a lot of sensible people in good positions in there. Once in a while he should let someone else speak. Who would be his Chancellor? Who would be in charge of foreign policy? Education? Fag-end-dropper persecutors? I hope he will cremate all of those alive and just drop their ashes in the street. I bloody would.
I think UKIP really needs to be seen as more than just Smoky Nige, much as I like the man. He can’t run the country single-handed. The only other UKIP members the press are covering are the little fringe councillors who are lambasted for, often, no more than a careless remark.
It might not be Mr. Nigel’s fault. Maybe the press are deliberately avoiding covering anything sensible. Most of them seem to do that anyway, these days.
So if there is no UKIP government in 2015, who will be in charge? From the pronouncements of the three big photocopies who run the show now, it looks very much as if none of them want to win. Then again, maybe they have all fallen for the nonsense and genuinely believe that the majority want to be controlled in every detail of their lives. Most of them, especially the ones in charge, are certainly daft enough to believe that.
So that is Labour’s plan. No mention of dealing with the risk of being drawn into a third world war by meddling in Ukraine. No mention of the crippling debt this country has. No mention of spiralling crime while police are being cut and politicised. No, their priorities are solely about you. They must – MUST – control you. For your own good.
The other parties’ policies are… exactly the same.
And to think, there was all that stuff about an old version of UKIP’s manifesto being a pile of rubbish. The big mobs made a lot of mileage out of that.
Then they come up with something even worse, and expect us to vote for it.
They really have no idea, have they?