Catapults and pointy sticks.

Tonight I am trying something different. It’s called Isle of Skye and it’s a vatted malt – a blend of malt whiskies with the youngest being 8 years old. Here is part of the blurb from the back –

15p from every bottle sold goes directly to Scottish Mountain to fund vital resources – SARDA rescue dogs, stretchers and avalanche training.

A most worthy cause. 15p sounds a bit mean considering the bottle cost £15. Only one-hundredth of the price. But then, since the government already take around 70% of the price to waste on vanity projects, the subsidsing of their own booze and grub, and the deaths of soldiers in pointless wars, 15p is likely to be a significant percentage of what the producer actually gets. It’d certaonly more than this charity gets from the morons in power.

So I am drinking to help save the lives of mountaineers, and the NHS will treat them without censure. Funny old world.

It’s not bad, this whisky. A lot like Lochlan, or like Glen Orchy used to be when it was 8-year old (it is now 5-year old and a tad on the rough side but still far better than Toilet Duck or even Bells). Very drinkable and most charitable too. For now. Once the Righteous get hold of the idea that drinking whisky might save lives they will go all-out to stop it. Saving lives has never been their aim.

But to get to the actual blog, for once…

I used to have an air rifle. A cheap one but a good one. When I bought it I lived in the middle of bugger-all-for-miles and used it to shoot slugs that grew to a size that scared the mice. They can’t get immune to a slug pellet that is made of lead and delivered at speed.

Now I live in a town and have a small garden. I can throw the pellets at the slugs, no rifle required. I still have a couple of air pistols that do the same job, one of which is a Gat which is not an air pistol at all. It throws the barrel forward to transfer momentum to the .177 pellet then sends that pellet in something reasonably resembling the direction you wanted it to go. My brother used to have a Diana which did the same thing but looked pretty and girly and I used to laugh at him for it.

The proper .22 air pistol I have is a Harrington Maxima (made in England but bought in Scotland!) and that’s pretty good. Still poor accuracy at long range but then I was more used to the rifle. I gave away the rifle for the cost of postage some time ago when I saw what was coming. Well, I hadn’t used it in over a decade so it was best it went to a good home.

Oily Al and his Silly Nannying Puritan party now want to licence all airguns in Scotland. Just imagine what they will do if they get independence. Oily Al already thinks all Scots are drunks so you will need a hipflask licence within the first year of his Bonnie Soviet Scotland.

It’s okay for me, I can just bugger off back to Wales although the Plain Old Cymru lot are just the same. Bunch of control freak Puritans. Maybe I can find a place in Cornwall…

This is their idea –

Under the proposed new scheme, anyone wanting to own an air gun would need to demonstrate they had a legitimate reason for doing so.

That is not my understanding of the law as pertains to shotguns. I don’t  have one so am no expert but as far as I know, the police cannot deny a licence unless they have evidence that you’re a loony. You do not need to prove anything, the police have to prove you are not fit to have a shotgun.  Much less totalitarian than Oily Al’s proposals for what was, only a few short decades ago, a common child’s toy.

So what next, Oily? I have a damn good catapult here that I would put against the average airgun weilder in a heartbeat. I have the ability to throw knives and other sharp things with at least enough accuracy to shred a small round Scottish millionaire. Going to ban elastic and sharp edges next?

What about pointed sticks? Too dangerous in  the hands of proles?

Maybe he’ll ban fruit next.

It would not surprise me. The chubby idioit seems to want a new North Korea.




36 thoughts on “Catapults and pointy sticks.

  1. I build traditional archery equipment. You’d have to ban wood to put me out of business. And very good arrow points come from WC bowl ceramic or glass ashtrays. All kit passes metal detectors.


  2. I have the amusing image of men in evening Highland dress having to hand over their sgian-dubhs at the door of the SNP annual ball


    • Already, Highland dress comes with a fake plastic sock-knife. You’re not allowed out with real ones any more, although at a glace, who’d know the difference?


  3. But they are lefties. The justice guy is a zealot and dangerous. They want to save people from everything whilst making everyone loves that but more dull.

    That’s not to say the independence is a bad thing. Win independence and wake everyone up. Anything is possible after that. Out of the EU, radical localism, land tax reform, no Queenie among others and sovereignity of the Scottish people as it used to be.


      • I’m not so sure. You see things mat change after a yrs vote. It wouldn’t surprise me if Queenie wasn’t head if state. We’d need a president. Step forward Al.

        He’s a good politician si I’d have to assume he has a few cards up his sleeve.


        • He is a cunning old bugger for sure (the very definition of a politician) but this particular ride has gone faster than I think he expected. Not so long ago, the SNP was a fringe party with nothing much beyond ‘Independence!’ as a policy. He has been thrust into power and hasn’t had time to plan it properly.

          The same thing might happen to Smoky Nige down south. Nige should be paying a lot of attention to recent Scottish history. He also isn’t expecting to win much more than some EU seats.

          He might be taken by surprise too. Let’s hope he has time to filter out the loonies and the caviar fish before it happens.


  4. Should ‘independence’ become a reality, Oily Al will know that his junta will be deeply unpopular, so he will ban as much as he possibly can so his secret police and armed forces can abduct and harass without fear of any great reprisals.

    What will Scotland’s military be like? As Fish Face seems intent on creating a new North Korea, where about 4 out of every 10 inhabitants are in the full-time military or reserves, that’ll give him over 2,000,000 warriors to stand against proud Lizzie’s/Charlie’s/Willie’s army and send him/her homeward tae think again.

    Now that the Home Internationals have finished in football, he may be keen to restart the Anglo-Scottish wars, or just march down to London and claim England as a colony for the next 309 years to make up for 1707-2016. With the piddling little army the rest of the UK has, it will be a doddle.

    With a frenzied lust for power, he’ll order his kilted hordes to march on Brussels and Strasbourg and claim the EU, which will be renamed ‘Eck’s Union’.

    His biggest U-turn will be to keep the nukes and make more with the help of his chum, Kim Jong-un. He won’t rest until he owns the world – and an acre on the Moon.

    Think I’m exaggerating?


    • If Al wants a politically correct, nonsmoking and nondrinking army he’ll have five blokes from Edinburgh in it.

      If he promises free booze and baccy he’ll have almost the entire population of every major city enrolled.

      No need to supply weapons, they all have their own. Just get them drunk, point them at the enemy and say ‘See that lot? They are looking at your bird, mate’.


  5. You are correct about shotgun rues, at east in England. I have a icence and own a nice Mossberg 500 pump action. It’s not realy built for shooting cays but it looks the bollocks.

    I imagine that if there’s ever a serious crisis where I might need it for more than clays, armed cops would come round and take it off me.

    And the air rife did go to a good home. Thanks again 🙂


    • That’s what I thought. The police ‘issue’ licences, not ‘grant’ them and they can only refuse if there is a good reason to suspect the applicant is likely to go berserk.

      Too much trouble to get one for an airgun. Especially one I never used!


  6. Anything can be a weapon. I think that’s what the collectivists don’t get. For example; in the right, or wrong hands, dependent upon your point of view, a sharpened bamboo chopstick is far more lethal than an air rifle. Even a pencil can be deadly if you know where to jam it, but then the ‘ban everything’ mindset always confuses tool with intent.


    • I’ve thought that before. Supermarkets age-check those buying knives (and sometimes spoons because an idiot manager has put the age check on ‘cutlery’) but you can buy a bag of 50 pre-sharpened pencils for a quid and get them out of the shop without your fingerprints on any part of them.


      • I actually once researched how laughably easy it was to kill with a simple ten inch chopstick. Without actually doing it of course, Officer. What I found was that bamboo does hold a point rather well under pressure, even when stabbed repeatedly into a shoulder joint of pork.

        There’s also reference in one of Ian Flemings James Bond books, forget which one, detailing the use of a knitting needle through the ear as a difficult to detect torture and assassination method. Kind of knit one, purl one, stitch then stab, no need to repeat. Who needs guns?


        • A youngish gentleman of bad parentage once showed me how to use an icepick as the mobsters did…put the point either to the thin bone at the temple or in the ear, slap the handle with the free hand, and kind of swish the pick part by swirling the handle. Surprising what comes up during conversation.

          I don’t see why it wouldn’t work with a knitting needle, too.


          • Knitting needles are banned from carry-on luggage on planes. Steel Parker pens are not. I own no knitting needles but have often travelled with my very nice brushed-steel Parker.

            Maybe next time I’ll just take a biro. Less likely to be nabbed by security and will do both of the same jobs.


  7. You can get an FAC for a shotgun, pistol, rifle or air rifle in N.Ireland with relative ease, with the result that there is one legally-held firearm per eight people. True. You also can (if the police agree that you are at risk of attack) pack heat in case of emergency. Gun crime here is non-existant re: legally-held weapons. The cops here are happy to help people gain access to their sport via granting FACs knowing that firearms are part of the rural and sporting scenery.


  8. To be honest, despite the efforts of two regrettably rather stupid lottery winners, Oily Al seems to be losing this one. Most of the sensible arm of Scottish society is looking at his plans and noting that several large employers (not least of which being the British Government) are planning on leaving should the vote be yes, and noting also that the money in their pockets will not be pounds or euros, but rather something on similar lines to the Zim dollars I carry as a talking point. I also rather think that the Scottie Dollar would go the same road as the Zimbabwean dollar; an entity so worthless as to make forgers give up and ply their trade elsewhere.

    As Oily Al’s regime would be Hard (of thinking) Left, pretty much every major asset or currency earner in Scotland can expect to be taxed extremely heavily. Whisky manufacturers would bear a large brunt of this, so laying in a stock now before the hammer falls is a good idea. Oil drillers are likely to face retrospective taxes too. Apart from that, pretty much every firearm going will be regulated into oblivion, and highland deer stalking made impossible by fiat of bureaucrat.

    At this point, re-introducing wolves and big cats would be the only way to control a burgeoning deer population; doing this would cripple the few remaining livestock farmers.


    • IF I ever win the lottery (unlikely since I never enter – I am told that buying a ticket increases your chance of winning but not by very much) then I am not going to use the money to support any form of socialist party. They will just come back for the rest of it when they get into power.

      Perhaps I should occasionally enter. It would be worth winning just to reply to all those letters from fake charities. “Sorry, all this money is tainted with third hand smoke and I cannot in all conscience expose you to the risk.” Although I might send the occasional bunch of notes with cigarette ash rubbed into them – to the most rabid antismokers I can find. Dare they burn them and release the demon Nikotin from the papery folds?

      Some large employers are already making plans to move south – and might well do so anyway, now it’s all been set in motion. The threat is enough to damage the economy.

      Re-introducing wolves and big cats wouldn’t be much help for a tourist industry largely based upon roaming free in the wilds, either… especialy since you won’t be allowed to carry anything that might be deemed a ‘weapon’. Including tent pegs and a hammer.

      At least it won;t cost Oily Al anything to feed the wolves.


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