The Day I went to Church.

What is it with English kings called Charles? This one hasn’t been crowned Charles III yet and he’s already provoking Russia into a war. Royalty should never name their firstborn Charles. They are nothing but trouble.

Anyway, I went to church to play a game of ‘pick the idiot’. The polling station was in a church. Not at the altar, where God could whisper ‘oh dear me no, not that one’ in the voters’ ears. It was in a churchy side room of some sort that smelled of pencil shavings and something nasty. I might visit the church again when I die. It depends which relative can be bothered dealing with my third-hand-smoke-infused corpse. They can take their time, it’ll be well pickled by then so should keep for a while.

I voted UKIP. That makes me an unintelligent swivel-eyed loon as far as the drones are concerned. They had better take care who they say that to because there are a hell of a lot of us about.

It was a long voting form and, as Oi You and Jaxthefirst noted on the previous post, it included a lot of mysterious ‘anti-EU’ parties I’d never heard of before with UKIP right at the very bottom. I assume it was in alphabetical order but didn’t really check. Just put X in the box, fold it and go. I had a litre of Teacher’s waiting so spending too much time on X would have been a waste.

Voting Conservative in the north of Scotland would have achieved nothing at all. The SNP and the LibbyDibbies have this place sewn up. Labour have the south but not the north. They still do better than the Tories here though. Even though the place is largely rural towns and farmland, natural Tory territory. That poll tax experiment was a very, very bad idea.

I did once vote Conservative here, but it was a sympathy vote. Also a safe vote – there was no chance of the candidate winning and it was a way to reduce the winner’s majority by oine vote. Perhaps voting UKIP will achieve nothing either but then they used to say that about the Greens and they have MEPs now. They even have one MP who goes on marches to protest about fracking. Who does she imagine is best placed to speak to Parliament about it, I wonder? Who is she protesting to?

Anyway, the vote is cast, the ticket posted in the ‘As if we give a shit’ box and by now, hordes of terminally bored people will be sorting long sheets of paper, each with one X in one box. I don’t know how long it will take to sort out the result and to accidentally put enough of the papers in the wrong pile to arrive at the predetermined result. Maybe this time it will actually really be a fair election. That would be something new.

There have been the usual smear stories about UKIP, the upstart party who dares to become popular by talking about things the real people want to talk about. Although as Frank notes, there has been no mention of the smoking ban for quite some time. The Big Boys have not said one word about UKIP’s promise to do away with this hateful legislation, even though they claim it is the most popular thing they have done since… um… the last popular thing they did… can’t quite think of anything at the moment.

The thing is, UKIP have gone very quiet on it too. I do hope they are not planning to renege on that promise. It is the number one reason for voting for them on my list – out of the EU is only number two and immigration – I don’t care. Just stop paying them to come and it will sort itself out. If they go back on this one thing, next time I am voting BNP. They will be the only ones left. I still have my Hells Angel uncle’s old SS badges so I’ll be fine.

I don’t think Smoky Nige will go back on it, he likes a beer and a cigarette just like normal people. However, if UKIP do one day get into government, he won’t be the only one to decide. The antismokers have infiltrated UKIP and have placed sleepers in there to screw things up, just as the main parties did. It won’t be easy.

The main parties woke many of theirs just before the election. It is no coincidence that large swathes of UKIP councillors and members revealed themselves as politically correct loons or wild-eyed racist fruitballs all at once.

The Puritans are still in there. They will not be activated unless and until UKIP get into Parliament. I hope Nige is smart enough to realise that the first MP he gets might well be a plant designed to make his entire party look nastier than Vlad the Impaler.

He’s a canny operator. He must realise that he is up against people who would make Machiavelli fall to his knees and clasp his hands in admiration. There are no depths they will not plumb in their quest to hold onto the free money we all hand over to them from the sweat of our brows.

Oh well, the vote is cast now. It’s all over bar the counting. We can but wait and see.

And in the end, it doesn’t even matter. The EU parliament is just as much a sham as any EU country’s government. It decides nothing. Herbie Remploy-Van and the shadowy wraiths behind the curtain decide things and then tell the EU parliament what will happen. Whether they vote for it or not is of no consequence.

What UKIP – and equivalent parties in other countries – do is to make that sham clear. They speak out in the EU talking room and are ignored, time and time again. They make clear that those parliaments are full of ravens who quoth ‘Nevermore’ at any suggestion they might be getting it wrong.

It is not a takeover of the UK that the EU, and the UK comfortable parties fear.

It is the exposure of their racket.


18 thoughts on “The Day I went to Church.

    • UKIP was really upset because another party sounded so similar it was afraid that people would mistakenly vote for it – maybe UKIP, like the other parties, believes the electorate is pretty thick (mind you, in my experience they have a point). Much handwringing on Beeb’s R4 this morning at UKIP’s showing so far in the local elections with one bewildered, horrified commentatior bemoaning the fact that people are voting for a party one of whose candidates suggested that Lenny Henry go back to Africa – how could this have happened? Someone else – a politician – came up with the novel idea of speaking to the electorate to find out…

      The Westminster Bubble is truly real: an insular, cocooned little community filled with self-important, arrogant, self-serving people who expect voters to elect them after disdainfully ignoring their concerns or insulting them and who have so little empathy that they don’t get that.


    • MJM,

      Definitely cobbled-together to split the UKIP vote (I’d be very interested to learn how they got their funding …?). There were none – not one – that I’d even heard a whisper of, even with all the hoo-hah about UKIP across the papers over the last couple of months, and yet the tagline for all of them was identical, just re-phrased to make them sound different.

      I suspect that their extremely late appearance (i.e. on election day itself) is a reflection of how the major parties have been taken so much by surprise by UKIP’s rise in popularity (largely, that is, because they haven’t bothered to take any notice until now, at the eleventh hour), and a reflection, too, of how unswervingly and arrogantly convinced they were that their oh-so-clever “smear” campaigns in the run-up to the elections would succeed in convincing what they clearly believe to be an extraordinarily gullible electorate away from voting UKIP and back to voting for the same-old-same-old. As election day approached, the nasty reality must have suddenly hit them that – oh, dear – people really were going to vote UKIP and – oh dear again – that the name-calling campaign actually hadn’t – gasp! gulp! – worked. Something “had to be done,” and fast!

      But, (sighs and smiles), too little, too late, chaps! Quelle shame!


    • spoilers, the Electoral Commission ( the ones who said UKIP could not use the word Independent for fear of confusion ) said that punters wouldn’t be confused by two uses of Independence with accompanying out of EU blurb…
      that’s the commission run by a common purpose leftie quango queen, not the scrupulously fair body one would expect.
      The position of U in the alphabet allowed the careful folding of the ballot papers by some scrupulously fair officials to hide the choice of the legit party leaving only the imposter, at the top of the page, in view.
      Complaint to the Commission elicited a response that didn’t quite say ” tell someone who gives a fuck” but that was the drift of it.
      One of the parties was the bloke who went in for ‘extreme-dress-up’, as I term it ,and now calls itself ‘Nikki’


  1. Princes/kings are figure heads and non-elected. There opinion, in the ideal world, should carry no more weight than any other citizen. But this is not the case. The wise prince should keep his mouth shut and pronounce his views to his butler, only.


    • ‘The wise prince’? Hahahaha! The man is a jug-eared buffoon. The only reason his mother stays alive is that she is hoping he will die first. She’s no fool. He is.


  2. UKIP getting a decent foothold in LA’s may help to thwart the anti-smokers. It’ll have no power to overturn the main ban, but may at least try to prevent implementation of local ones. But it’d need close on a working majority to be effective. Problem is, there’s plenty of smoking drones out there who’ll vote left as a matter of routine yet also receive more punishment.


  3. They fear the exposure of their protection racket? Yes, most definitely. They’ll fight tooth and nail over that, with anything from the dirty tricks department they can lay their hands on.

    Thank you for the mention.



  4. Election Results.

    They will be announced late Sunday 25th once all nation states have had their elections. Meantime all we have are exit polls and talking heads.

    Smoking Ban

    They’re fighting an EU election. Farage stuck strictly to that. As he can do nothing about the ban in the UK at the moment I can fully understand why neither he, the press or his competitors chose to raise the issue.

    Come the General Election I suspect things will be different. Miliband undoubtedly will raise the subject as a misguided put-down; possibly Clegg as well, though probably as a needle to salve himself after his pedantic performance in the head to head debate. Both are of the opinion that the majority of voters are on their side re the smoking ban. There again, they both believe the majority of voters are pro the EU.

    Failure to deliver on the smoking ban

    100% agreed. Irrespective of how many or how few MP’s they get in 2015, I fully expect to see – at the very least – a private members bill to amend the smoking ban to allow modestly well ventilated smoking rooms (similar to the Netherlands and Belgium) as well as remove the strict criteria on smoking shelters.

    Your vote

    It’s all under the rules of proportional representation and – as best I can determine – Scotland is treated as one region (as is Wales). Any party that gets 5% of the vote is in the running for the 6 MEP’s we’ve been allocated. (As of last night an English UKIP talking head stated they expect one of those six will be from UKIP. But he’s likely to be ever so slightly biased).

    Funnily enough His Excellency – Mr. Alex Salmond believes the SNP is on track to win another seat (and we all know that Mr. S is always great at predictions).

    (A reasonably interesting article on that 6th seat:)

    As things stand, Labour has 2, SNP 2, Tory 1 and Libs 1 then any erosion on a reasonable scale will eat into those that have 2 seats, unless support for Tory and Lib has crashed to less than the threshold (5%).

    Anyway, a little patience is the order of the day, then we’ll get the whole European picture in one great lump. Monday’ll be interesting, partly because of the faux anguish from the establishment… throughout the EU!!!


    • I see what you mean – there is no chance of repealing the smoking ban at the EU level so it is not an issue.

      That explains why none of the main parties thought it worth mentioning. As you say, it is likely to be a big issue next year, and perhaps it will not go the way the4 idiots in power expect…


  5. Pingback: No, He Doesn’t | Frank Davis

  6. Anyway, I went to church to play a game of ‘pick the idiot’. The polling station was in a church. Not at the altar, where God could whisper ‘oh dear me no, not that one’ in the voters’ ears.

    That’s hilarious. How does it work in those churches-converted-to-mosques? Do they let the non-musselmen vote there, or do the filthy non-believers go elsewhere?


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