Shh! Don’t explain the plan, Blofeld!

In every book or film that follows the James Bond format, there comes a time when the arch-villian, convinced that his opponent is doomed, explains his cunning plan. They never learn – next thing you know, the suave and sharp-suited secret agent escapes and, armed with full details of The Plan, proceeds to mess it all up.

It might not have been a good idea for UKIP to reveal The Farage Scheme in full just yet. It is a good plan, a plan so smart it floats around with its head in a glass bubble, Mekon style. Still, the plan has not been completed and could still be thwarted.

Not by the Cameroid, the Clegg or Moribund Minor of course. None of those are 007. They barely rate one zero between them.

The danger lies in the natural conservatism of the British, and especially the English. The Scots have their eyes on independence and they almost all hate the Tory party anyway. The Welsh have never given a flying fuck about anything at all, ever. No, the danger lies in the English.

Even those who vote for the Socialist Wanker mob have a touch of the conservative in them. Not the political kind. The kind that says ‘We like things as they are. We don’t want huge changes.’ The cultural kind. Those who don’t vote for Communism naturally have far more of this.

There has been a Conservative party for a very, very long time. It is the oldest party. The Whigs have gone through transformations and ended up as the Norman Cleggs of politics. Labour only started in the 1920s and took quite some time to get into power (take note, Labourites – what you are saying about UKIP is what was said about your party when it started). The Tories have been a constant for a long time. The English like constancy.

Inserting UKIP into Wastemonster as a fourth party causes no ripples for the English. It’s just like that Green madwoman who goes on protests against herself – it’s just English eccentricity. It’s why the Monster Raving Loonies get votes. The English like their constancy punctuated by a little bit of eccentricity. It just makes the constancy more real.

So yes, getting a few UKIP MPs would liven things up a bit in the House of Commons. Which, let’s face it, is pretty damn dreary viewing. It’s almost as bad as reality TV. Even if UKIP were to one day gain power, that’s okay, the constant ones are still there. Still going ‘harrumph’ and shouting ‘Resign!’ at each other on the green benches.

The Scots won’t care if the Tory party is destroyed. They’d have street parties. The Welsh won’t notice. Ireland rebels against the UK government no matter who it is. The English will see a long-standing part of their country disappear. And I don’t think they’ll like it.

Not because they want to always have a Tory government. The latest council elections make it clear that they don’t. No, it’s because while they would be happy to see Tefal Man slapped down for his pomposity and arrogance, they don’t want the whole party destroyed. They want to keep a little bit, so they can sneer at the remnant, torment it, play with it and remind it daily of why it is just a remnant.

But… maybe I’m wrong.

The Whigs and the Tories of old meant nothing to the common man. Whichever was in power made no difference, his life was shit either way. Then came the Tory/Labour years in which the common labourer felt better off under Labour while the common small businessman felt better off under the Tories. Now it has come full circle.

It no longer matters to anyone which of them are in power. Our lives are shit either way. So maybe the English have finally had enough – and historically, when the English have had enough they tend to do something about it. Usually something fairly abrupt and often pretty brutal. While some individuals have a short fuse, it takes a very long time to get the English collectively enraged. It takes a lot ot prodding to wake the beast but there has been an awful lot of prodding, over many years, with increasingly sharp sticks. Any day now…

It won’t work on the Scots, they are enraged all the time anyway. They have been since the days of the Clearances. It won’t work oin the Welsh whose attitude can be summed up as ‘We don’t care who claims to be in charge, we’re not listening to them anyway’. The Scots will snap your prodding stick and stick it somewhere you’d much prefer to not have a stick stuck. The Welsh will steal your stick, burn it and claim there never was a stick. Only the English will tolerate the pointy stick. For a while. Then they will lose their tempers and when they lose it, they lose it all the way.

Unlike the flare-and-forget Scottish temper or the ‘Huh? What stick?’ casual indifference of the Welsh, the English bottle things up until the bottle explodes. It’s under a hell of a lot of pressure by now. When it blows, nothing is sacred, not even the oldest political party in the UK. This lot cut the heads off their kings. The dig up people who are already dead and hang them just to make a point. They have had wars with pretty much every country on the planet and invaded most of them. These are not the sort of people you want to provoke and yet provocation is all they have experienced for years.

Soon we will have the EU election results. Don’t just look at the UK because other EU countries are voting for parties that make Hitler look like a right soft touch. They make UKIP look really quite left-leaning in comparison. If UKIP do win the next election, we are getting a very, very good deal especially compared to what some other EU countries will get. At least we won’t get jackboots.

I really hope UKIP landslide it. I would love to see Cleggy’s EU presence utterly erased. I doubt the other two will be so shattered but if they are down, I will be up. And why not – it has been their attitude to the rest of us all along.

The Big Three will be getting less sleep than me tonight. For me it’s genetic (I have a body clock set to another country’s time), for them it’s worry that their time might be up.

Interesting times lie ahead.


28 thoughts on “Shh! Don’t explain the plan, Blofeld!

  1. So true. The English have finally had enough. And as you say, it is not a good idea to push us too far. Especially not me who is normally the epitome of sweetness and light, until…….
    I would vote UKIP, if I had a vote, which thankfully I don’t, just to pull all they other wankers up short. Let’s face it, The UKIP can’t seriously be any worse.


    • Even if UKIP never get into power, they have certainly put the wind up the Big Three. All of them are backstabbing their leaders now.

      The real test will be the general election next year. UKIP have to get one MP. Just one. If they get none, the Big Three will relax and call it all a flash in the pan.

      That one MP is essential. It will be the knife through the heart of complacency.


  2. Listened to Any Questions followed by Any Answers yesterday and they STILL don’t get it. The London audience applauded lustily when Torylab criticised UKIP. On Any Answers, however, when the calls came in from all parts of the UK most supported the UKIP position. I feel that, for the first time in years, we’re being enabled to express worries about mass, uncontrolled, immigration – for years people have been frightened to open their mouths which is shocking in a supposedly free society.

    More schadenfreude to look forward to today.


  3. I agree slightly with your first point – in that when I saw the DM just now I thought “hey, that’s a bit premature”. Perhaps the mail journo unleashed a honey-trap on the fella?

    On the other hand, you are right that we have had enough. In the last few years the campaign to erase English (specifically) identity has been coming fully into the open: perhaps because the bastards thought their end-game would be a walkover.

    Did you know that, several years ago the bronze bust of Dan Dare in the centre of Southport (he was invented here, you know) tha had sat here for many years was “temporarily removed for technical reasons”, and has never come back? It’s in the middle of the Libertarian Alliance Blog’s heater picture if you want to know.


    • Technical reasons? What, did his spaceship need servicing or something?

      I actually cannot conceive of any scenario in which Dan Dare could possibly offend anyone.


  4. Nigel has got my vote. If he wasn’t around and I just had the other three parties to vote for, I wouldn’t vote at all, so disillusioned am I. They say they represent us, though it’s quite obvious they are only in parliament for themselves. HS2 and hallal meat? Pah! Get rid of the bally lot of ’em. The system has been corrupted by a bunch of self-serving schoolboys with no experience of the real world.

    The only thing that worries me is that Nigel won’t go far enough. Parliament needs total reform. Sack the lot. All 650 of them! Turn the House of Commons over to Disney, who could re-model it as a tourist attraction. At least them we’d actually get to make some money for the public purse.


    • If there was no UKIP I would have picked a random independent with no chance of winning just to bring the winner’s majority down by one.

      I think Nigel will keep going until he wins or they kill him, and would not rule out the latter. There have been several suspicious ‘walks in the woods’ in the past. I think he’d better watch his back now.


  5. I hope the Conservative party does implode, its no longer fit for use in its present form anyway.

    If Farage does nothing else other than speed up this eventual self destruction, then he will have done a fine job.

    Hopefully this will trigger a renewal of the Labour Party too.
    Britains democracy relies on both MPs and opposition having a full set of bollocks, and they are in short supply at the moment.

    Talking of bollocks it would appear Theresa May sports a decent set and isn’t afraid to get ’em out when needed, i suspect that after the next election she’ll be kicking Cameron in his, not as he’ll feel anything, and she will, IMO, make a fine leader of the opposition, or possibly, as PM, someone whom Farage could do business with if UKIP gains enough seats next year to hold the balance of power…

    A really interesting year ahead.




    • A very interesting year, in which we can expect Farage to be accused of everything from pederasty to witchcraft. He has been a thorn in their side for a while, now he has seriously twisted that thorn and it is hurting.


  6. Yes, I have always said the some of the stuff the Maggie did were pretty damn fine. My family has always been Labour mainly because the believed in the mantra that Labour wanted to support the next generation being better off than the last. That party has gone now, long since.

    The UKIP party and the current disillusionment of politicians mirrors what has happened in Scotland. The SNP are far from perfect but the are perfect for hitting the big three with over and over again.

    Let’s all do the independence thing. Out of the EU, no more UK, no more royals, no more PC, no more global warming, no more establishment and patronage…

    You up for it?


    • Given that Scotland seems to regard UKIP as beyond the pale I wonder if it garnering a groundswell of support in the rest of the UK will push more Scots towards independence along the lines of ‘if they’re getting in we’re getting out’.
      Interesting times indeed.


      • Well, the barrage against Farage is mostly rent-a-mob. It is not impossible for UKIP to get a seat here.

        Now he has declared his intention to destroy the Tories he’s likely to get more votes in Scotland next time. The Scots might not like UKIP very much, but on the whole, they detest the Tories far, far more.


    • Er.. but Wee Eck and his cohorts want to keep the Pound, remain in the EU, retain the Queen as head of State, want free everything all paid for out of the Oil money. Talk about having your cake and eating it and coming back for seconds! What kind of “Independence” is that?


      • But you are thinking along the lines of the BBC and the Westminster establishment. You see when voting YES you are voting for yourself and your loved ones. You are not voting for the SNP who will not last long after a YES vote anyway.

        Everything is up for grabs. Anything can be achieved. All it takes is courage and determination and belief based on our Scottish resourcefulness.

        A big step? Huge!!!! Bring it on.


        • Good point.

          Farage has already said that once we are out of the EU, he’s done with politics. He has one goal and once achieved, he’s off.

          The Chubby Wallace thinks he will be the next Kim Jong McUn but once Scotland gets independence they won’t need him any more. His anti-smoking and anti-booze frenzy will wipe him out. He’s only there to get independence, after that the Scots won’t put up with the rest of the shit.

          As for the EU, Spain will not let Scotland join because that would mean Catalonia could go for independence too. So Scotland would be free of the EU, would get no EU subsidies and the Oily Fish would flounder.

          Hmm. A ‘yes’ vote could be a tactical strike, you know.


    • The Scottish parliament system was set up so that the SNP could not get a majority. An actual and deliberate obstacle. The SNP did it anyway and kudos to them for that. I still think Salmond is a dick though.

      Wales has been independent all along because it is a place of tribes and individuals. The Welsh don’t care who is in charge, they just ignore them. Independence is of little interest there. It would mean dealing with all that government stuff themselves… nah, let the plonkers get on with it.

      But yes, the sudden SNP takeover of Holyrood could be repeated by UKIP in Wastemonster. Even when it was demonstrated to them, they stil never saw it coming.


  7. Let’s not forget that the ‘Essex man’ were the frontrunners of the peasants revolt. UKIP have done remarkably well in Essex this week !! History repeating ??? I do hope so. (speaking from sunny Essex)


    • Oho, I didn’t expect them to do so well in Tory heartlands. The scent of revolution is in the air, and it’s not the sort of revolution the Lefties expected. Even though they caused it.


  8. Watching the European election results – so far throughout Europe the centre-right parties are winning with the exception of Greece where the far left has won. In France the Front Nationa party has a landslide victory – you were right, Leggy.

    In the UK UKIP is galloping ahead, the LDs are losing even safe constituencies.

    I predict Lib/Lab/Con going into defensive-aggressive mode on R4’s Today tomorrow (or rather later today) along the, already tired, lines of it being a protest vote but we’ll have come to our senses by the GE. They really don’t get it, do they?


    • The Cleggies have one seat so far with three chances left. One of those chances is Scotland where they have historically done well but have been displaced by the SNP in many places.

      I think Scotland has six seats. If Labour won them all (won’t happen) they’d still be two behind UKIP. If the Comnservatives won them all (a snowball’s chance in Hell if they get even one) they’d be level pegging.

      London, I have no idea. A hell of a lot of people with a alot of different views. Anything could happen there.

      Whatever happens I think UKIP have it sewn up.


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