Years ago, way back when it was still worth turning on a television, there was a really funny show called ‘Spitting Image’ that took the piss out of… well, anyone in the public eye really. They made marvellous caricature puppets and nobody was off limits. Nobody. Not the living, not the dead, not even God.

Oh, people complained, so they took the piss out of the complainers too. Back then, ‘get a life’ actually meant something. Now it just means ‘you are not living as directed, here, have a life. Here is your script’.

Nowadays the makers of that programme would all be thrown in jail just for suggesting that show to a TV executive.

Politicians were complacent about the anger of the electorate even back then – as Dick Puddlecote notes and this clip from 1991 makes clear. All they think they have to do is murmur a few platitudes and wait for the proles’ memories to fade. A few days of BBC mind-wipe television usually does it.

The Cameroid is murmuring platitudes now. He promises (ha! another promise!) to reduce the amount of benefits claimed by non-UK people from the EU while knowing full well that there is absolutely bugger all he can do about it as long as we remain bound by EU treaties. He will manage to fool some, but a lot fewer than he fooled with his pre-election Referendum-Maybe promise. He reneged on that even before the election. If he hadn’t, well, he might not be saddled with The Party on the Trail of the Lonesome MEP. One day I have to get back to that .

The Clegg is downcast and despairing at the hammering his party have taken in council and EU elections. Sympathy? This is the git who equated any relaxation of the smoking ban with bringing back the death penalty. Never mind that many people have since died as a direct result of the smoking ban – which means that keeping and extending the ban is in fact the same as bringing back hanging. Repealing it would have saved lives, Clegg, you murdering bastard.

He made this pronouncement, smug-faced, within days of being grafted onto the Cameroid’s forehead as a sort of backup arrogance facility. To see him doomed to obscurity, at high risk of losing his Parliamentary seat and facing the terrible prospect of finding a real job, just makes me laugh. The Secret Ninja Cleaners are hiring, Clegg. Send a CV, we could do with a giggle. You can’t do this job, you weak little waster.

Meanwhile, Moribund Minor is at pains to prove he is the most out of touch of all of them. “Vote Labour and we wil ensure you stay in the glorious EU for ever! This is what the people want.” Seems he has spent the last week drunker than I have ever managed. We probably paid for it too.

The panic of the main parties is pretty much over. Even Oily Al and the Scottish Nannying Puritans are no longer bothered too much about the UKIP MEP in their midst. Oily didn’t lose an MEP, the Lib Dems did. He just didn’t get an extra one.

I think the Cameroid still has an inkling of panic which is a good thing for him to have at this stage. Clegg is in ”We must explain ourselves better, the electorate doesn’t understand us’ and Moribund is firmly in ‘More of the same! More of the same! This time it will work!’ mode. They are slipping back into complacency. The drones will forget. The drones will vote in their designated tribes at the general election next year. UKIP will not get any further than they have now. Okay, none of the main mob ever seem to notice that every time UKIP make further huge gains, they say the same thing, but never mind.

It is now essential that UKIP get an MP in Wastemonster next year. One is enough, but there has to be one. If there isn’t, all three of the Borg parties will assume smug expressions and say ‘See? I told you they wouldn’t vote UKIP’ even if every last one of them has a single-vote majority over the second-place UKIP candidate.

It’s up to us. Agree with UKIP or not, doesn’t matter. One UKIP MP will make no actual difference to the non-workings of that glorified parish council. It’s the psychological impact that matters now. Cat among the pigeons. To Wastemonster, one UKIP MP is like finding an ant in your kitchen. Where one gets in, hundreds follow.

It’s up to us to vote them in. Just one has to get in. Just one. Then watch the complacent trousers fill with spontaneous bowel evacuations.

It just takes one to make them realise that maybe, just maybe, they aren’t as safe in their bubble as they think. UKIP as a protest vote? Well, do you have something you want to protest about to this government? Then vote UKIP. It’s the only thing that scares them.

Whether you are Left or Right or Stalin or Vlad the Impaler or just a middle class meek admin clerk thinking ‘Ooo, no, that’s a bit off’, if you want to register your dissatisfaction then all you need do is put an X in the UKIP box at the bottom of the list. It won’t result in a UKIP government, certainly not this time around, but it is the only power you have to slap the complacent idiots of the government into shape. They listen to nothing else. Nothing at all.

Want proof? They have already consulted on plain packaging for cigarettes and have ignored the massive result saying ‘This is the second stupidest idea you have had since deciding to go into politics’. Guess what? They plan to do it anyway. (tip of the heavy hat to Dick Puddlecote for this one too).

The only thing that scares them, all of them, is UKIP. That is your power. One X in a box is all it takes to make them listen to you. And you only have to do it once. Next time you can go back to voting for your usual party, knowing that they will then be aware of the power you have over them and that they should be doing what you want done. They will listen to you only after you show them your power. The power of your vote. One smackdown and your MP is eating out of your hand. UKIP don’t even have to win the seat in your constituency, they just have to get close enough to make your MP’s arse suck his shit back up.Then you pwn your MP and for a change, they will do what you want done. It’s up to you.

Or you could just meekly accept that you are party property. It’s entirely up to you. UKIP have handed you the option of the bitch-slap vote to tell your party who is boss. Whether you use it or not is your choice. UKIP will not force you because they are not interested in controlling you. The matter is entirely in your hands. Are you pwned, or do you pwn?

Digression time. I read a pundit (what is a pundit anyway? I’ve never heard a single good pun from any of them) who said that it would be hard for Oily Al to argue that Scotland is an entirely separate country now that he has a UKIP MEP in the fold. Well he also has two Labour ones in there and as even more of a surprise than UKIP, a Tory one too. Quite why the UKIP one matters so much is hard to tell.

UKIP did  very well indeed, it cannot be denied, but… Nigel, chill man. You are not trying to take over the world. Or even to pop that huge zit on Oily Al’s forehead. Scotland is of no relevance to your plan except to fiurther it.

A split would mean both Scotland and the rump Uk would have to renegotiate membership as new countries and both could say ‘no thanks’. Independence for Scotland would suit UKIP so why fight it? You can have an alliance once we are both out.

The euphoria of a big and unexpected win can be intoxicating but Nige, grab a few strong coffees and a smoke and relax.

Your next step might not be in the direction you think it is.


(Typos are caused by a mad early day and Auchentoshan)




18 thoughts on “Complacency.

  1. Isn’t it sad that one needs to vote UKIP to register a protest. But it is true that there is no other way. Still, I suppose that one should be grateful for being offered a way at long last.


  2. I probably watched just about every episode of Spitting Image, which was broadcast from [checks Wikipedia] 1984-96. I used to wonder how they got away with it and why people didn’t sue. I think David Steel probably came off worst, portrayed as the ultimate weasel of a man, always fawning to David Owen, all his ideas to his SDP comrade being dismissed with a condescending, “Yes, David”.

    It was at the 1981 (believe it or not) Liberal Party Conference that Steel said, “Go back to your constituencies and prepare for government”.

    My, how we laughed heartily and long. He was just three decades too early for the Liberal/SDP misfits to get a sniff at government and do absolutely nothing of any use to anyone but themselves (that I can think of).

    More recently, I watched an episode of ‘Not the Nine O’Clock News’ (1979-82) and hadn’t realised at the time (I was young and naive) how politically hard-hitting it was. This episode, at least.

    I think most viewers see these things as comedy and nothing more and that’s why nothing was done about it and why people kept voting for the non-latex comedians. Don’t know if anyone successfully sued the makers of Spitting Image, but I’ve found this touching story…

    “Hello, You Must Be Going is a 1986 song parodying Phil Collins. The beginning of the song sounds similar to the Phil Collins single “In The Air Tonight”. It was written by Ian Hislop and Nick Newman and its title is a parody of one of Phil’s album names. It was released on the B-side of the Chicken Song LP, and also on the “Spit In Your Ear” record.

    “The song has a notable backstory. Phil Collins reportedly watched the song video and was quite disgusted; he even planned to sue Spitting Image for it. However, after watching the video a few more times, he felt bad and told Spitting Image he was calling the lawsuit off. Later in the year, he made everything even by asking Spitting Image if they could make a music video for one of his songs – the memorable video for the Genesis song “Land of Confusion”. He even asked if they could make his puppet ‘uglier’.”

    A real challenge for the team. Oops, better watch what I say. As a Phil fan, I was perturbed when he moved to Switzerland because Labour won the 1997 election, but how I wish I could have done the same thing.

    The lyrics are quite funny, although as Alastair Sim says in ‘The Milliionairess’, “Divorce is not a laughing matter” (OWTTE).,_You_Must_Be_Going

    I voted Labour through the ‘Spitting Image’ years, but I was a drone; a member of the sheeple caste; a well-educated idiot.


    • Genesis were never the same after Peter Gabriel jumped ship, even though PC tried to sound like him.

      Saw them do this at Sheffield City Hall back in the good ‘ol days…..

      Modern youth can’t understand stuff like this (tbh, neither did I, but ‘I know what I like’……)


  3. Well done for finding that Essex Man Spitting Image clip, I remember the sketch from the time and it was absolutely spot on. We know now, of course, that the Tories were returned in 1992 but their attitude didn’t change and Blair’s majority in 1997 was a hammering. All three main parties are making the same noises now in the self same circumstances, but will they listen properly? We’ll see, I suppose.

    They could start by dropping plain packaging but they probably won’t. That will give us a massive clue.

    Don’t forget to put a bit of pressure on anyway, it can’t do any harm. 😉


    • Cameron’s mob don’t want it but Clegg and his Bash Street Kids are all for it. In fact, Clegg’s manifesto for the next election is shaping up into ‘Don’t vote for us, we’re bonkers’. So is Moribund’s. It’s down to Tory vs. UKIP now, and with Clameron as leader, the odds are very much against the Tories.

      The next election will be very interesting indeed.


  4. Wholly agree that Mr. Farage needs to keep both feet firmly planted, especially taunting His Godhead Salmond.

    Yet Farage says he’ll be coming to Scotland prior to the referendum and I see a certain logic in trying to encourage another attempt by Radical Independence Group to shout him down, intimidate him and, finally, to kettle him (in a pub).

    That did UKIP no harm at all and the Twitter comments as well as the editorial showed the real disquiet at what happened and why. SNP was – quite rightly – slammed for allowing this to happen.

    There are a couple of quotes from the article that tickled:

    “Liam O’Hare of the Radical Independence group also defended the protest, saying: ‘Our protest was to make it clear that UKIP’s rise in England is in no way reflective of Scotland.’

    UKIP has never made a breakthrough in Scotland, receiving just 0.91 per cent of the regional vote in the 2011 Holyrood election.”

    And that article was penned in May 2013!!

    (So the Daily Mail is as good a judge of public opinion as it is at weeding out fake health claims).

    RE Mr. Clegg.

    Yes the guy’s tainted, shop soiled, a pariah – and a dangerous idealist.

    Unfortunately he’s decided to do as much as possible to make the Conservatives unelectable. I read recently that he has threatened to crash the coalition if they do not introduce legislation for PP’s.

    His grand strategy must be to seek accommodation in the forthcoming Labour administration.

    Oh, sorry, forgot, he reads like a dime novel.


    • You could almost feel sorry for Cleggy. He did raise the personal tax allowance to £10k which has helped a lot of people. It’s just everything else he did or didn’t do (and his unwaivering loyalty to the EU bandwagon) which has gone against him. Sad.


    • If he crashes the coagulation he’ll probably do the Tories more good than anything they can do for themselves. It will give them an easy way out of anything – ‘we would have been able to do it if the Cleggites hadn’t wrecked it all’.

      I hope he does break the Coagulation. With no-one to pander to, we’ll finally see what Cameron is really made of.


  5. I’m quite shocked at how so many of my friends and acquaintances slag off UKIP as that nasty racist party and then in the next breath, complain about how a pensioner who fought for our country is living on a pittance, yet a family of immigrants are on £25k a year. Quite breathtaking. It’s like they can only think with half of their brain, the other half having been sold off years ago….


  6. They remade Spitting Image about – oh, I think – four or five years ago. But instead of the gruesome puppets they were caricature-like cartoons, and instead of lampooning (largely) pompous politicians it was all taking the mickey out of celebrities – the Beckhams and the like.

    It was, in a word (well, three, actually), truly, truly awful. I suspect that the writers/designers had given up smoking in the intervening years and thus their previously razor-sharp wit and observation had become blunted and stunted by their new-found non-smoking status (it happens a lot – has anyone noticed?). Either that or they’d got a bunch of extremely un-funny non-smoking writers in to replace them.


  7. Leggy – just spotted! “Passive obesity” is here! I wondered how they’d manage that one. But from the BBC’s website, we get:

    ”The UK’s National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE) has put part of the blame for obesity on “obesogenic environments”. What are they? In simple terms, environments that encourage people to eat unhealthily and not do enough exercise.”

    So there you are then – if you live next to a McD’s or a KFC, you just have to eat there! Just like squeaky-clean non-smokers have to endure passive smoking in a smoky bar. I always wondered how they’d find their “innocent bystander” when it came to obesity. Looks as if that’ll be obese people themselves, and the baddies will be the fast-food producers, natch. Which, of course, is exactly how it started with anti-smoking – poor little smokers being forced to take up smoking by those nasty old tobacco companies. The template strikes again!

    For your perusal, it’s at:


    • There was one recently suggesting that people put on weight if they associated with fat people. So shun the fat people as you shun the smokers. Same game, same vindictive control freakery.


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