The things whisky does to a mind…part 2.

Where was I? Oh yes, halfway down a bottle of  Whyte and MacKay. The random mind has engaged once more and I have a backup in case this bottle dies an early death. This is going to come out in little bits like some kind of philosophical Lego because I have to type the bits in that little space between whisky-enlightenment and fucked-fingers.

Okay. So. Science wants a unified theory of everything. The Gnostics already have that – everything is made of God. Makes sense, really. If God was the only matter in the Void then the only thing he could have made the universe out of was himself. There was nothng else.

This idea annoys the Church because they imagine a human-like space between creator and created. The carpenter is not the chair. But what if the carpenter is the only matter in existence and he feels like a bit of a sit down? What does he then make the chair out of?

The Gnostic approach neatly explains the idea that God is everywhere all at once. The entire universe, down to the last quark, is God. The Church teaches that God is everywhere, all at once, but declines any explanation of how that works. At the same time, the money-laden Church insists that the Gnostics have it wrong. Hm.

Science used to be open to such things but has since closed its shutters. There was serious scientific study of Daniel Dunglas-Home but science could not explain him and so dismissed him as ‘odd’. If it cannot be explained in terms of modern logic then it cannot be real. Computer says ‘no’.

Take the matter of ghosts. There are so many easy ways to fake a ghost photo now that photographs as proof are beyond pointless. If Satan himself did a Vogue cover-shoot, all you would hear would be ‘photoshop’. The papers are routinely taken in by desperately bad fake ghost photos, now accelerated by the iPhone app that lets you add a semi-transparent actor to any photo at all. As for orbs, don’t even get me started on fucking orbs. Only a total dickhead would believe anything paranormal about dust.

Are there ghosts? Yes there are. Are they the shades of the dead? I have no idea. Can I test them in a laboratory? No. Unless I build a machine to test something that I have no idea what it is made out of and persuade that thing to step into the range of the machine, there is no way to test them.

Those ‘ghost detectors’ sold to the gullible are a waste of time and money. If you don’t know what something is made of then you cannot design a machine to find it.

If God is everywhere then God is all of us too. That seriously annoys the Church because it means that we plebs are equal to their fancy-robed pomposity and achieve nothng by giving them money we can’t afford to give.

But if we are all part of God and God is eternal then none of us can die. But we do die – or at least, our bodies die. Does our innate spark of Godness live on as a ghost? Only one way to find out for sure. After you… British politeness insists I let you go first.

The Gnostic belief amounts to a unified theory of everything. It is not just ‘everything is connected’ but everything is made of one, single, gigantic being. A single intelligence that manifests as the material universe.

For both sides of the argument, that idea is very scary.

For science it means that they cannot be ‘observers’ since they are part of the observed. It means that no matter what they control, something might be controlling them. It means the universe has something at its base that cannot be tested and for science, that is Hell.

For religion it means that Earth is not special. An entire universe is their sentient God and they claim that he only has any interest in one little planet at the arse-end of one plain little galaxy?

Fingers are failing. I have to spend twice as much time fixing my typing as typing it. Time to leave the philosophy for the night.

There is still Gematria to deal with. I only mention it here to remind myself tomorrow.

All I will say now is – why are all Gematria’s numbers in base 10? The answer is buried  in the Safety Dance.

Fingers… I need more.


67 thoughts on “The things whisky does to a mind…part 2.

  1. I am one of those people who acts as a black hole for all things paranormal.
    All spookiness is extinguished by my presence.
    Apparently, strange (quantum?) things do happen where I’m not.
    Perhaps I am The Observer? It makes sense to me.
    Solipsism cannot be eliminated as an explanation.
    Hello? Is there anybody out there?


    • Now see, here is where you have slipped off the tracks. You do not see ghosts, and assume there are none. But what if ghosts are as smart as those little grey visitors from outer space that, according to numerous published and broadcast accounts, infest virtually every nook and cranny of the globe?

      How do I know that they are smart? The fact that all this long time these aliens have never landed their craft in, say, Times Square or Buckingham Palace or any other spot suitable for widespread recognition.

      No. These clever creatures invariably seek out some toothless backwoods dweller with questionable diction and lamentable standards of personal care and land right there in front of them. And, despite the fact that finding an American without a camera-equipped telephone is as rare as finding a hen’s tooth, there is never a picture of the meeting.

      I’ll bet that if you left your camera at home you’d be surprised at how spooky the world has become.


      • Oh, that already happens. Whenever anyone spouts an astonished ‘Did you see that?’ you can bet I was looking the other way.

        The world is an incredibly weird place, but only when I’m not looking at it.,


  2. You need to get a voice dictation program like Dragon. Then you won’t risk your whiskey addled fingers making so many slips.

    Although you’d probably need to set up two training profiles – one where your train it sober, and one where you train it under the influence – otherwise you’ll be making even more corrections!


  3. Until Dark Matter and Dark Energy are explained, there can be no Unified Theory.

    Ghosts are probably just what happens when parallel universes overlap ours.

    There are about 125 million pounds of Earth for each pound of human beings.

    I doubt the Earth has noticed mankind, the universe, even less so.


    • Mankind has only been around in any numbers and activity for about 10,000 years.

      That is about 0.000002 of the Earth’s life.


      • And what a mess we’ve made. When the Earth finally shrugs us off, it’s going to have a hell of a hangover.

        It’ll wake up and think ‘Humans… never again.’

        Until its next binge.


  4. What about if you are God and everything else is a figment of your imagination? Then other peoples’ arguments won’t really matter because you’re making them up…



  5. “For religion it means that Earth is not special. An entire universe is their sentient God and they claim that he only has any interest in one little planet at the @rse-end of one plain little galaxy?”

    I disagree with this. This planet is special and the stars were made to show us the glory of God and for light and for times and seasons.

    If we were near the centre of the galaxy, life would be impossible as the stars are too clustered together. Out here, we are a long way from the nearest giant stars.

    For example, were our nearest star (other than the sun – for pedants!) Proxima Centauri (discovered by Scotsman, Robert Innes) one of the brightest stars, it would appear to us as bright as the Moon rather than being invisible to the naked eye.

    Out here in the suburbs, life is far more tolerable. It would also be impossible to see the glory of the heavens with all those bright stars around us in downtown Milky Way.

    We are also more protected from supernovae. The Earth could be affected by the gamma rays from one occurring within 300 light years (but considering the number of stars in our galaxy (100-400 billion), they are rare).


    • None of this proves God because all of it is the same as saying ‘we exist because we were formed in a place that does not instantly wipe out life’.

      That does not disprove God either, and for science – real science – that is the problem. Science tests things. There is nothing it can test here.


      • But the wierdos have an answer for that as well…. I seem to rerember something from the Big Black book odf spiritual comedy, aks “Baible” saying something like “Hej, Laddie, youre no fucking testin’ ME, pal!”

        Or words to that effect.


        • A Glaswegian God would mean Glasgow was Eden. So the fruit of the tree of knowledge was Buckfast? No, I don’t think it works.

          ‘See you pal. See me? See testing? Nae chance, right? Try it on and ye’re getting it.’

          ‘Git oot there and malky they Canaanites fae me, would ye? Ah’m fair sick o’ their shite, so I am.’

          A Bible in Glaswegian, it cannot be denied, would be most entertaining. Might even make some converts in the Gorbals.


  6. And to re-repeat Max Planck, the originator of quantum theory,

    “As a man who has devoted his whole life to the most clear headed science, to the study of matter, I can tell you as a result of my research about atoms this much: There is no matter as such. All matter originates and exists only by virtue of a force which brings the particle of an atom to vibration and holds this most minute solar system of the atom together. We must assume behind this force the existence of a conscious and intelligent mind. This mind is the matrix of all matter” in 1944.”


  7. I’ll just leave it to Carl Sagan:

    “Look again at that dot. That’s here. That’s home. That’s us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every “superstar,” every “supreme leader,” every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there-on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.

    The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner, how frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot.

    Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the Universe, are challenged by this point of pale light. Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves.

    The Earth is the only world known so far to harbor life. There is nowhere else, at least in the near future, to which our species could migrate. Visit, yes. Settle, not yet. Like it or not, for the moment the Earth is where we make our stand.

    It has been said that astronomy is a humbling and character-building experience. There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another, and to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we’ve ever known.”


    and when you zoom in:


    That would explain a lot!


  8. In a lot of pictures ghosts wear clothes. How does that work, ghost clothes?
    Also is the whole universe held together by ‘the word’ , a thought expressed, thus avoiding the distraction of forgetting to hold that thought?


    • There’s no reason to suppose that a ‘spirit’ would be the same size and shape as the body it used to drive around in.

      Not orbs. Nobody mention orbs. Or rods. You’ll set me off on one!

      So what are we seeing? The spirit might project an image of what he or she looked like in life, but if the ghost can do that it could project any image. Hmmm… that would be a lot of fun. Appearing as a filthy great spider, or a six foot scorpion, or Jabba the Pickles, would be far more interesting than appearing as myself.

      In fact we could get a gang of ghosts together and get them all to appear at once as Tony Blair – TO Tony Blair! His ego might overload and short out.

      Picture God getting shouted at by Mrs. God – ‘When are you going to put that shelf up?’

      ‘Don’t distract me, woman – oh damn, that’s another three stars gone supernova!’


  9. Dear Mr Leg-iron

    One of my theories is that God, the maker of the universe and all it contains, is called Kevin (no relation). He made it in his parent’s basement/garage/spare bedroom and it took him six days.

    Sometime he’ll start tinkering with his pocket universe again. That might cause problems.

    Our real problems will end when his Mum calls him in for tea, and adds as an afterthought: “And turn that thing off.”

    Assuming he does as his Mum tells him, of course.



  10. The slight problem I have with the religious is the credibility gap. They claim they have a hotline to an all-powerful super-being, yet they need some of your money. Can’t be all that all powerful if it cannot magic money into existence, can it? The Bank of England apparently manages this feat on a massive scale, so it cannot be very difficult, can it?


    • That’s really just the TV evangelists – the collection plate in a church mostly has pennies in it.

      TV evangelists are no more real than TV mediums. All fakes. There are real Christians (and a few real mediums) out there but none can produce any kind of miracle to order. Certainly not in exchange for cash, since the incorporeal have no use for it!


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