Fantasy becomes reality.

A somewhat surreal post tonight, possibly brought on by the madness resulting from trying to stay in 10538’s head for hours and perhaps influenced by Black Bottle, who have finally renounced their green bottle shaped like a rather scary thing you might see on the BDSM circuit. The whisky is once more in black glass, in a bottle reproducing their original from 1879 – 1914 (the bottles were made in Germany so they became somewhat difficult to get hold of after 1914). I just hope they are not now getting the black glass from Russia. That would be a bit of a bugger.

It tastes the same but the experience is definitely improved by not having to pour it from a large green butt-plug.

Fortean Times’ latest issue is taken with the Slender Man, the entirely fabricated being that inspired two little American girls to try to kill another girl. There have been other instances of Slender Man’s malevolent influence but here’s the kicker – he does not exist at all. Not in anyone’s mythology. He is not even a hoax. The Slender Man first appeared in two pictures in an online Photoshop competition to see who could make a subtle yet really scary image. It was declared as Photoshop from the outset. There was never any intent to deceive anyone at all. The original images have been shown over and over again, with the photoshopper given credit.

And yet the drones believe it is real. We’ll come back to that.

An analysis of UFO sightings down the ages has linked them to aerotechnology and then to movies. Maybe there are real alien UFO’s, I don’t know (or much care, although if one is ever proven then I will suddenly become very interested indeed). Early sightings described things that looked like balloons and blimps, rare at the time so for most people they were, indeed, ‘unidentified’. Then the saucers followed the early space films, then there were black triangles seen everywhere at night just before those radar-dodging planes were suddenly in air force operation. Shaped like… black triangles. Of course they did the test flights at night. Of course the local airport didn’t see them on radar. That was the whole point of them.

Plans for saucer-shaped aircraft were drawn up by the Nazis in WWII and the Americans, at least, have tried to make one. There is an old film somewhere of a trial flight. It was horribly unstable and difficult to control. Maybe they have now succeeded. If someone saw a highly secret aircraft on a test flight, what would be the air force response?

a) “Oh yes, that was one of our highly secret test aircraft.”

b) “No such aircraft exists, you are eating too much sugar and hallucinating.”

I’ve missed out an awful lot but you get the idea. The abductions are all pretty similar too, apart from the first recorded one, Antonio Villas-Boas, who had a steamy romp with an alien. Everyone since then just seems to get probes shoved up their bums. Maybe it’s the aliens’ idea of revenge.

Or maybe they are being secretly screened for colon cancer by the NHS… you need two tinfoil hats for that one.

Note that I’m not looking anything up tonight. This is a babble from memory, such as it is. There might be errors and wild deviations from reality, it depends how far down the bottle I get. As it’s now black glass it’s actually quite hard to tell. The typo-count will be the giveaway that I’ve passed half way.

If you doubt the Nazis would try to make something mad that flies, check out the Dornier range of aircraft. That guy was definitely on the good stuff.

Crop circles are a load of shit. The plain circles can be formed by the weather. The artistic ones are formed by men with planks and string. Britain gets an awful lot of tornadoes, you know. I’ve seen a few here. The difference is that most of ours don’t touch down, and those that do rarely do it anywhere anyone will notice. We don’t get the Kansas twisters but once in a while, one rips through a city. The almost-touchdown ones will easily form a perfect circle in any crop without sending anyone to Oz.

Most ghosthunters of the past never saw anything at all in haunted houses. They didn’t have the digital cameras that pick up infrared and turn dust into ‘orbs’ and they never saw a manifestation. Those things happened at seances (often with the help of muslin and luminous paint) but belief in ghosts goes back to before humans learned to speak.

UFOs, ghosts, crop circles made by aliens, is any of it real? There has been so much fakery it’s almost impossible to tell. Maybe some of it is real but picking out the real from the fantasy is as much fun as looking for a strand of hay in a stack of needles. You try getting in amongst the believers and that is exactly how it feels when you start asking awkward questions. It’s like going to Mecca and saying ‘but it’s just a black rock, what’s the big deal?’

I do not recommend you try that. Not unless you are backed by air support and many, many tanks.

In Tibetan lore (I might not get this quite right, I am working with no notes) there is a thing called a tulpa. A thought form. You concentrate and meditate until you bring your imagined thing into reality. One person can make it real for themselves although nobody else sees it. I’ve never tried. If I did, and succeded, she probably wouldn’t fancy me anyway.

But what if you connect a huge part of humanity through the internet and they all believe the same thing? This blog and many others have demonstrated over and over that most of humanity will believe whatever they are told to believe. Controlling thought is depressingly easy. Whether a thought form can be brought into reality doesn’t matter all that much. Reality doesn’t matter all that much. What matters is what people believe.

All this satanism nonsense is of no real consequence until you realise that whether Satan is real or not does not matter. Satanists believe and they will slip a real knife between your real ribs because they believe Satan told them to. Whether Satan is real or not, you’re just as dead.

Likewise the mad Mullahs who will strap bombs to themselves and spread themselves liberally over the surrounding area because they believe that Allah will give them 72 virgins. It doesn’t say that they are female virgins. It doesn’t even say they are human virgins. Before you press the mince-button you guys, you might want to give that some thought.

Then there are the modern Satans. The paedophiles. A word which translates to ‘loves children’ but in a far too literal sense. What does not make sense is that any Satan would want his potential future followers to utterly despise his current ones. Child abuse is not a real part of satanism. When Aleister Crowley talked of ‘sacrificing a child’ he was talking about anal sex  The act of procreation defiled in that it is the act but cannot result in the product. He sacrificed the child before it was conceived. To put it crudely, he shot his potential offspring right into the sewer. Like a politician, except he only did it with his offspring, rather than yours.

Anna Raccoon has been debunking the new Beelzebub’s crimes for some time. Jimbo Saliva has been demoted from small-boy bugerrer to procurer of small boys for other buggers. There is no evidence he did it himself so he must have been a go-between for someone else. That ‘someone else’ must have been a Satanist because… well… because.

I always regarded Saliva as a creepy wierdo but the revelation that he sometimes availed himself of the young girls who threw themselves at him is not a surprise. There has been nothing to suggest he was into toddlers like so many of the really nasty ones. There has been plenty to suggest that he was not even present at so many of his alleged crimes. He has become, like Gary Glitter, a tulpa. A thought form brought into reality by the fears of parents, encouraged by the likes of the Daily Mail.

So we come back to the Slender Man. He was not real and never intended to be. Not even intended to be pretend real. Not a hoax. Yet he is having real effects on people even though he does not exist.

Okay, I can see all the ghost stories and UFO tales and so on being taken as real. Those people really, genuinely believed it happened and maybe it did. I have nothing to prove otherwise. I have to accept that they believe something happened and have to accept that they might have been right. Unless it’s orbs. Then they are talking out of their arses.

But Slender Man was not a mistake. Not a hoax. He was declared as a fabrication from the outset. He was a Photoshop entry in a competition. No mythos. No backstory. Purely made up.

Many people now believe he is real. He is not, he cannot be, he has been repeatedly proven not to be, but they steadfastly believe it anyway.

Do we create reality? There is a theory that says so.

As for me, I just think that people are unbelievably stupid and will believe anything at all if presented correctly.

So far, it’s worked every time.

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25 thoughts on “Fantasy becomes reality.

  1. The shadow of Borges’ story “Tlön, Uqbar, Orbis Tertius” hovers meaningfully over the whole “fabricated thing affecting the ‘real’ world” discussion. ‘Tlönification’ is a handy verb in this day and age.

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  2. I got a free laser printer last week by claiming that I had been mis-sold the previous one 13 months earlier.

    They did IMO. They sold it without telling me that it gobbles ink every time it gets switched on and off – and I’m prone to power cuts here (I’d ordered a cheaper one online and a salesman phoned me to tell me about the solid ink printer which I bought instead).

    So, I threatened legal action unless they sent me this cheaper mono printer in compensation as the solid ink was so expensive I ended up only printing in b/w anyway.

    The ‘best they could do’ was let me have it for £50 + VAT. I kept saying “No; free”.

    The point is this: I had no idea if it was even possible to sue them or the costs involved and I suspect that they had no idea either.

    Every excuse they came up with to not give me it for free – I had a reply.

    “You bought it over a year ago.”

    “The PPI claims have been going back years.”

    I won’t bore you with all the details, but I did get it sent for nothing because I made it sound like I knew what I was talking about. Probably because I was genuinely angry at the ink costs incurred with the Colorqube from Printerland and the frustration at trying to find drivers for other printers I have for my new Linux PC.

    The printer gets quite good reviews because it prints nicely and it uses dinky ink blocks less than two inches cubed rather than clunking great plastic monstrosities. But most don’t keep it long enough to do an analysis on cost. Some people who did wait mention that the machine breaks down as soon as the year’s warranty expires.

    But a Xerox leaflet in the box tells you to leave it switched on permanently. What happens is that when it starts up, a blade comes along and chops off a slice of each cube.

    I would never have bought it had I known this quite important fact and at £50 per colour cube (and they’re sold in pairs), not nice – it was the yellow that went and refused to print black, even though a sign came up saying I could still print black (that was a mistake by Xerox) – I was informed that all the colours are used when printing black. It’s the same with all colour lasers except OKI, I was told.

    Why? When obviously a mono printer only uses black? A mere money-making scam?

    So this huge comment was to say that as long as the other person thinks you know what you’re talking about, you’re fine. So, practise some karate warm-up moves in case you need to try and avoid fisticuffs and the other bloke will probably just apologise that you spilled his pint and looked at his bird.

    Oh… and possibly don’t buy a Colorqube.

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    • The whole point of dual cartridge printers is that you don’t mix the colours to make black. My last one was single cartridge and consumed ink like blotting paper. When the cartridge needed replacing, it was cheaper to buy a different printer with ink in it than to buy a new cartridge.

      Nobody makes money on printers. They give them away and make money on the ink.

      I get my own back by not buying their ink. Try Cartridge People on line. Half the price, twice the capacity and good quality. Every bit as good as the branded stuff.

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      • Ink jets probably work differently. I always bought genuine Xerox for this white elephant as the price differential vs compatibles isn’t that great, but I always buy cheapo replacements for laser printers and they usually work out fine (had problems with three consecutive cartridges with a cheap Samsung mono laser).

        But companies will always send you replacements if there’s a problem. I’ll look at Cartridge People for this new Oki.

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    • I still have a HP Laserjet 1100 that is over 10 years old. The only bad part is that the cartridges last for ages. They are huge and expensive and by the time one runs out, it’s difficult to find a replacement.

      The colour printer is an Epson DX4000 that uses four cartridges, and runs perfectly well on half-Epson-price generic cartridges, You soon get used to clicking ‘shut up’ on the little box it pops up when it finds a non-Epson cartridge installed.

      But then I don’t print too much in colour unless I’m building a model and need some special decals.

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  3. If there really are aliens up there watching us, then at least they can be assured that there’s no intelligent life on this planet.

    I read a book once that was written around the theory that Earth is a prison planet and UFOs are gatekeepers waiting to bomb us back to the stone age if we ever manage to perfect space flight and escape. It would keep the rest of the universe safe and explain why humans are such a despicable species…

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    • I wondered about that European Mars probe. Maybe it did land safely and beamed back one image – of an enraged Martian with a large hammer in an allotment…

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  4. As for thinking about something in order for it to become real, there is evidence in scripture: James chapter 1,

    5 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.
    6 But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.
    7 For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord.
    8 A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.

    You have to have faith that you will receive. But be single-minded about it, like I was single-minded about getting that printer for nothing. I wasn’t wavering. I was absolutely intent on it.

    It should only be used for good purposes, naturally. But if enough of us insist on better government and believe it, we’ll get it, but I don’t think we have faith and there doesn’t seem to be enough of us drawing a line in the sand.

    “…but belief in ghosts goes back to before humans learned to speak.”

    Humans have always spoken, apart from babies and mute persons. You’re going back to that belief in double tin foil hattery evolution theory!

    As for aliens doing things to botties. I reckon it’s men from Andrex trying to perfect the softest tissue yet. Who do you think they performed their experiments on with aloe vera and shea butter infused toilet rolls? Think about it. It’s unknown territory. Who’s going to risk some foreign object up their behind (apart from the usual suspects)?

    But seriously, some people reckon that the ‘aliens’ are really demons. Others reckon that it’s due to mass mind control after decades of TV and film aliens.

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    • From your point of view, Adam could not have believed in ghosts because there was nobody before him so nobody was dead. In fact the first one dead was Abel, and ‘Bernie’s Bargain’ explained where he went 😉

      I have wondered sometimes about Cain being exiled to the ‘Land of Nod’.

      An euphemism for being ‘put to sleep’?

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  5. The stories about men being abducted to have sex with alien females make me laugh. All they would have to do is land next to a pub at throwing out time and the blokes would be forming a que to get aboard.

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  6. With all due respect, some crop circles are not hoaxes. When I was a kid, we lived in a rural area: mixed farming, but lots of arable. Circular patches of flattened corn were not uncommon, about six to twelve feet radius, with a plaited effect on the flattened stalks. Nobody took much notice, no big deal. I noticed they seemed to happen mostly on slopes, so I guess some kind of vortex effect in the air, or perhaps something to do with the water table. The big complicated ones with ET faces and all that cobblers, yep,man made. But there is a genuine, if unspectacular phenomenon behind it.

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    • I did say that the plain circles can be caused by atmospheric events.

      There are also the ‘fairy circles’ in grass. Those are caused by a fungus that frows out from its original central point but only produces fruiting bodies (toadstools) at the periphery of its growth circle.

      People do still believe it’s the fairies, though.

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  7. I am beginning to doubt whether it is “free will” that separates man from beast. It would seem to me that to be brainwashed and led by the nose is exactly the opposite of “free will”. Moreover, the more that we believe that we have “free will” the more vulnerable we are to such machinations.

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  8. A couple of years ago, my two boys (then aged 10 and 8) became terrified of Slender Man. Whatever else it is, it’s a very effective meme.

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