My plums have mutated while I was out at Smoky-Drinky tonight. I now have Siamese Plums.
I think I’ll have to check the blueberries in the morning…
There is much going on in the world to rant about but I am just too drunk to care tonight. There might be something sensible tomorrow but I offer no guarantee.
underdogs bite upwards 
Er…. hate to break it to you Leg, but you *DID* have too much to drink tonight, and tomorrow morning you will wake up to discover those were NOT “plums.” You’ll be very distressed at the finding and will let out an extended squeak in your new, pleasingly soprano, voice.
– MJM
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Well, they are reproductive organs… not mine, the tree’s.
Does that mean the tree gets all excited if you suck its plums, I wonder?
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er, we got a tomato that looked like…well I’d better not describe on a blog _for the children_ what it looked like.
Perhaps someone smoked near it.
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I frequently smoke in my greenhouse. The flies hate it and the plants don’t care.
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Legs, if your plums are as sweet as they look, you’ll be fine 😉
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Here’s a horrible thought. Fruit are the reproductive organs of plants. We pull them off and eat them. What if, one day, the plants revolt? They’d round us up, grab hold and say ‘See how you like it!’
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Yikes! Men would be first, what with your low hanging fruit an’ all. It’s a good job then that plants are kinky fuckers – we’re the ones that swallow 😉
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(ahem) Seeds are breakfast cereal…
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Yep, with a ruddy great cock …
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It’s a good thing it wasn’t a Kiwi fruit.
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Kiwi fruit?
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OOH missus, that is a great example of asymmetry of da fruit. Looks a bit like my bollocks by the way, as I’m recovering from a vasectomy and one of the ligatures slipped off. Ouch..
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Heh, you think that’s asymmetry? You should have seen the state of me when I got mumps from my 6 year old (he’s 42 now) son. Asymmetry doesn’t even come into it. Think Jupiter and Mercury. The doc noticeably winced when he pulled the sheet back. “Ouch”, he opined.
However, I went on to father yet another sprog after the event (the fourth accident – I went the vasectomy route myself shortly after she appeared), so it obviously didn’t have any lasting effect. But it wasn’t much fun at the time. Particularly as it precipitated a re-run of the malaria I’d had some years before to manifest itself in tandem.
On the bright side, that was actually the last time I was ill and needed to see a doctor. (I don’t count physical injury in that – I’ve had to have a hernia repaired since then, but that’s not illness, that’s wear and tear).
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I had all those childhood diseases when still small. Of them all, the one I remember most is the mumps. That one hurt!
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I hope yours aren’t that colour!
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Parents’ garden has about 12 plum trees, 6 damson trees, and over 30 apple trees. Im fed up now with stewing bloody fruit. All my kids and grandkids are probably sick of crumbles too by now! At least one of my kids wants to try making cider this year so Ive managed to dump a couple of tons of apples on him!
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Twelve? I have one plum tree and last year I was giving them away in carrier bags!
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Are they Victoria?
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Yep. Had to be. I only have room for one tree.
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