Back from the dead.

I’ve just watched .’Nazi Zombie Death Tales‘, one of my Poundland DVD gambles. Not bad, in fact quite entertaining, even if parts were cheesy enough to make a four-cheese pizza with cheese on top and a cheese dip on the side, with cheesecake and cheesy biscuits to follow.  It’s three tales by independent film makers with no money. Some parts are suprisingly good but other parts… not so good. Ignore Amazon. As Halloween approaches, the cheesy horror films are all in the pound shops.

In real life, the zombies also rise. The Brown Gorgon insists he will hold Wastemonster to account for their promises to Scotland. He was the previous Prime Monster, but now he doesn’t seem to know the way to Wastemonster. He also seems to have forgotten how they work down there, if he ever understood it at all.

Another revenant is the Prime Monster before the Gorgon. The Tiny Blur, now the ‘Bomb them all’ Peace Envoy to the Middle East (there ain’t nothin’ so peaceful as a dead man) states that there must be more British soldiers killed in the name of his ego. Tiny, you were two Prime Monsters ago. You are not even in government now. At this rate we can expect Cromwell’s shade to start making demands. Forsooth, no more mince pies for the heretics, thou poltroons.

While demanding our troops die fighting in the Middle East, our Middle East Peace Envoy has taken the utmost care to be nowhere near the place. ISIS will never kidnap Tiny Blur because they know that, to the west as well as the world and the known universe, he is utterly worthless. We would not pay for his release, although we might pay them to keep him. The only question is, could we pay them enough?

What would a Blair zombie be called? A blombie? He must have bitten Cameron at some stage. The evidence is that it makes your head swell up and you brain atrophy. That would mean the Heir to Blair is another blombie.

Clegg has no fear of zombies. They eat brains.

Blombies are worse than zombies. They start wars and get other people killed, then revel in it.

Blombies don’t eat brains. They don’t know what brains are. They eat money.

Yours and mine.

 

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20 thoughts on “Back from the dead.

  1. It annoys the shit out of me when the BBC feel the need to keep on quoting what Blair has to say, the man is despicable. And the worse thing about this whole referendum thing is that it has bought Brown out from under his rock, I’m amazed he’s got the nerve to show his face in public after having been a complete disaster of a PM.

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    • Blair isn’t even in government but still thinks he gives the orders. Brown is a backbencher who makes demands on behalf of Scotland and expects them to be fulfilled. He even plans to appear in Wastemonster, where everyone else has forgotten who he is.

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  2. These ISIS shites are not like any enemy before.

    Never before have we had an enemy that already has a base in nearly every street corner shop in Britain, and in every Imbiß stand in Germany/Austria.

    We MUST defeat them in their lairs.

    Weapons measured in Megatons should do the trick.

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    • Personaly, I think we should concentrate on rooting them out of our own countries and shipping them all off to their new state. Then if they attack us again, well, we know where they live.

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  3. Reminds of the story about the terrorists who captured a bus full of fifty viola players .
    They said unless they were given £20 million pounds they would release them all at the rate of one every ten minutes .

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    • O.K. I just looke up “Viola players” on you tube. FUCK SAKE!

      Reminds me of “The Mod” in Edinburgh.

      A hundred people doing this solo one after the other, ALL playing the same fucking tune! Then come the bag pipes, same rules, then the fucking drummer boys, then the wee twirly dancing twats.

      We had a Proffessor at the Edinburgh uni that though this shit was GREAT.

      I do not know how many student suicides she was responsible for, but I get your point.

      Shit, I am off for a bottle of rum just THINKING about it. 😦

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      • FT, Arsenal is not Cockney. West Ham was but I’m not sure it is anymore. Millwall is both Cockney and Zombie and is happy to play with itself (and the good thing is, they don’t care!).

        If I were to assign a monster to Liverpool, I’d probably go for vampire – superficially attractive but crumble when stakes are raised.

        Liked by 1 person

    • Looks good! Another amusing one is ‘Colin’, the low-budget one with the nice twist of doing it from the zombie’s POV. It cleverly reveals the details of Colin’s previous life after he turns into a zombie.

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      • You know how I like syncs, Legs – ‘Colin’ was everywhere yesterday, mostly in relation to dogs but also to ‘Girl’. Colin roots back to Nicolas, which roots back to Nike (‘Victory People’).

        I will look the film up – cheers!

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      • LOL – ‘shambles’ seems to be intrinsic; I will definitely watch this film:

        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colin_(film)

        I haven’t shambled in a while. Hmm…

        Also I watched ‘Midnight’ last night (hubby’s choice), the one with the Doctor’s excursion across the diamond planet – the planet bathed in lethal galvanic radiation from its x-tonic star. That had a Colin in it, who, as it happens, is my son Kit’s favourite wizard.

        The Colin who calls me ‘Girl’ is a Mr Smith, btw.

        Bugger, I’ve got work to do now but thanks again Legs.

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  4. Sadly Leggy, while our elite politicians won’t get off their arses for a mere journalist or aid worker, if one of their own gets kidnapped they’d be sending our entire national treasure as ransom.

    And if Blair got his head lopped off on national television, the thousands of boots on the ground would be slipping on the glass.

    (Hmmm… What’s that saying about birds and stones?)

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