I survived my encouter with the NHS. They have filled me with morphine and other painkillers, rolled me through a machine that looked like Stargate and then X-rayed me. I dare not open this bottle of Aberlour in case it reacts with the fumes I’m giving off and causes an explosion. It’ll have to be a no-whisky night. No need anyway, I am drugged up to the eyes. The last time my brain met morphine was as a child – the old 1960s kaolin and morphine remedy for the squits. The concentration they gave me could bind me so tight my arse might heal over.
It was an interesting time. Apparently the best way to test for a cracked rib is to keep poking you in all your ribs, one by one, until you scream. I have not had so many young women demanding I take off my clothes in… well, ever.
The left kidney is bruised but healing, so they didn’t have to dismantle me. Two lower left back ribs are cracked – that’s where the real pain is. I didn’t think I’d cracked them this time but I have.
They prescribed no medication. No need, they filled me with more than I have taken in my lifetime, although it still hurts. No work for me tomorrow. The only prescription is ‘rest, and don’t do it again you daft old sod’.
It’s been about 20 years since I last had a day off sick and about 30 since I last spent a night in a hospital bed. Two long records shattered at once. Bah. Oh well, the bashed bits will grow back.
There is a silver lining. I am to spend at least the next week mostly sitting or lying down. Which will force me to concentrate on writing because I can’t do much else!
I have managed to extract the Bucko Computer from the box but assembling the monitor, keyboard etc will be a slow job with a lot of sitting down in between movements. No matter. It’s here and looking good. Very lightweight too, most fortunate under the circumstances. I’ll start it with a VGA monitor/TV and add the DV monitor later. Apparently it can run both at once. Oh, the geekery!
A horribly early night for me due to a horribly early hospital-style start to the day followed by enough drugs to make an elephant hallucinate.
Tomorrow, it’s back to perfectly normal whisky-fuelled ranting.
Tonight, I am far too mellow. And it’s time to feed the unicorn…