The very ordinary end of the world.

Not much of any importance to say this evening. I’ve been looking for story ideas and Halloween prank possibilities. The trouble with story ideas is that no matter what horrible thing I think up, something worse is already happening. How am I supposed to scare a world that is intent on scaring itself? It’s going to have to be big and it’s going to have to be ordinary. Twisting the ordinary is scarier than any amount of gore.

Something the Church of Climatology are well aware of. For years they have harped on about the Arctic ice melting in the Northern Hemisphere summer and switched to Antarctic ice melting in the Southern Hemisphere summer. The Arctic/Antarctic switch is about due, in fact. They will be silent on the Arctic while it freezes over again and they’ll be back to it in the Northern spring. They think nobody has noticed because their idiot drones never have.

Every hurricane is due to global warming now. Every dry spell and every cold snap. Every inch of rainfall, every flood, every drought. All things that have happened over and over in just the fifty-odd years I’ve been here and many, many times before I arrived.

The rule is simple: if it fits the mantra, it’s man-made climate change. If it does not fit the mantra, ‘weather is not climate’. All their drones are fully indoctrinated with this mindless crap.

So it is no surprise to find that they greet another perfectly normal event with cries of ‘Climate change! We caused this!

Every walrus on the planet is thinking ‘What? Who are you? We’re busy doing what we always do. Just go away.’

Every Climatologist on the planet is thinking ‘If we could get the blubbery ones off the beach, we could con another daft bunch of politicians into paying us a fortune to put up useless bird-mincers there’. By ‘blubbery ones’, I’m talking about walruses, not Brighton, before anyone gets all offended and starts throwing their weight around.

The walruses were first observed flobbing up onto beaches and dropping their towels onto sun loungers as far back as 1604. The walruses beat the English to those sun loungers that time. The English are just too slow with a towel, it seems. You guys really need to know where your towel is.

It’s just another ordinary thing. Another thing that happens on the planet. In fact, the massive number of walruses fighting over sun loungers this year is surely a great success story for the conservationist wing of the Church of the Green God? Not so. It is a scary thing, a Halloween weather report in which the little cloud and sun stickers are replaced with images of skulls, ebola virus and Satan. Oh, and walruses. Climate change means we will be overwhelmed by walruses until even the Germans can’t get a sun lounger. We might even all turn into walruses. I think there are some already undergoing the transition, you know. Goo goo g’joob.

I still struggle to reconcile the evolution (everything must change or we’re doomed) wing with the conservationist (everything must stay the same or we’re doomed) wing of this whole charade, you know.

Speaking of doomed, next time they call me for jury service, if selected, I will look the defendant in the eye, grin, clap my hands together and say ‘Aye, laddie, ye’re dooomed‘. That should get me banned for life.

Those windmill things are all well and good in private hands. Quite a few local farms have had one windmill each for years now, and they put them on top of a hill. It helps keep the farm running when snow brings down power lines, not an uncommon event in this part of the world.

The thing is, it’s the farmer’s land it’s on, and the farmer’s money that bought the windmill. We’re not paying for it. We don’t have to maintain it. It’s none of our business.

There used to be some delightfully picturesque land around Glasgow. It’s now covered in white whirling monsters that we do pay for, each on several hundrend tons of concrete and producing enough electricity to power an ecobulb or two. No wonder they banned filament bulbs. Turn on one of those and a windmill burns out.

This planet is not going to die. It is extraordinarily arrogant of us to think we can kill it.

Look at Mars. Still there, caring not a jot for anything alive or even robotic on its surface. At the other end of the scale is Venus, actively destroying anything with the temerity to try to touch it. The Russian Venera probes managed to take a few photos before Venus squished them, but Venus is still there. Still going about its sun-orbiting business like a planetary version of an old git.

There will be life on Earth when humans have all scared themselves to death. Angst-ridden cockroach civilisations perhaps, or slightly worried axolotls who can’t quite work out what they are worried about, but who constantly worry that they are worried about something. All this ‘we must care about the Earth’ misses one very important point.

Earth does not care about us. We’re not the nazz. We’re just a buzz. Some kind of… temporary. (Free book to the first one to tell me which song and album I stole that line from).

To the planet, we are but a henna tattoo. Something it wears for a while and then lets it fade when it gets bored of us. We are not important. If you rent, does your landlord care about you? If you are buying, does the mortgage lender care about you? No. So why should you expect the space-rock that you live on and eat from for free to care about you at all? You are a tick, a flea, a louse. Sucking on a host you pretend to want to be tick-free.

Man-made anything is easily absorbed by the planet. Nothing we do is forever. It is a mark of extraordinary arrogance and self-absorption to think otherwise.

So I’m off to think of something more to scare the drones. They like it. They want to be scared to death.

They think it iwll save the planet…

 

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38 thoughts on “The very ordinary end of the world.

  1. Now that was a teazer. It was Ian Hunter, I could hear him in my mind. Which track though eh? It had to be one of two, and it was Mott, Hymn for the Dudes. Come back 1973, all is forgiven… 🙂

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  2. How about a pumpkin scare… It could be people injuring themselves whilst hollowing them (thats where Holloween came from) out and having to go to A&E? Or it could be due to people slipping on the seeds being on the floor and falling down?

    Are there any A&Es left in the UK apart from the one they do the 24 hour thingy from?

    What about an upturn in the number of people taking ill after consuming a buttery or three? It’s a well know fact that butteries are cooked on a griddle above a pit of nuclear waste from Dounreay? Not to mention salt poisoning due to the huge amount of salt in the butteries which is there to cover up the taste of the nuclear waste.

    You’re right of course. No matter how absurd we can be someone will take offence or believe in the ridiculous. Bring back Scottish grannies. They always new stuff that was right.

    Im more concerned about the back story for Dr Who’s assistant. She’s easy on the eye and her accent is interesting but she has a past she doesn’t seem to know about.

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    • One of the storemen at work showed me a box of ‘Vegetarian Pumpkin’ sweets and wondered how a pumpkin could be non-vegetable. I explained that the ones under the bed have meat in them because they eat children. He has a child.

      Butteries – so that’s why they are so easy to find in the dark.

      Dr. Who’s assistant is the impossible girl. The one who was a mad Dalek and many other things through time. I hope they remember to develop that storyline and not just marry her off to get rid of her. Of course, she now has no option but to marry Mr. Pink because she’s already met her grandson.

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  3. “To the planet….You are a tick, a flea, a louse.”

    Not a cancer? That’s the usual evolutionist’s term. Oxford professor Peter Atkins said, ‘We are just a bit of slime on the planet’.

    We are God’s special creation, hence we have dominion over the Earth. A few greedy individuals abuse that honour, so we are all castigated via legislation and higher bills to combat ‘manmade climate change’, but this, of course, is a hoax to help usher in the new global government through planetary-wide laws and taxation.

    It will be joined by the one world religion, based on worship of the Beast as prophesied in scripture. It is also the Freemasonic endgame as outlined in ‘Morals and Dogma’ by 33rd degree Mason, Albert Pike. Ironically, even the atheists will be metaphorically fed to the lions for not bowing down to Lucifer.

    It’s why the disciples of the Green God don’t have any qualms about telling lies and causing misery via higher prices, job losses, draconian legislation, etc.

    (You could argue that Tony Blair and David Cameron and selected others are just a bit of slime on the planet, but they’ve sold their souls.)

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    • I do not see humanity as a cancer because cancer is an abnormality, and we are a natural part of the planet. Whether you believe we were put here or developed here, this is where we live. We’re supposed to be here.

      I do think you are right about the one world religion. Religion is the opiate of the masses – was that Marx or Lenin? Anyway, the idea of a State-controlled religion will have the control freaks drooling. It can have the masses believing anything they want to be believed.

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      • Yes, the one world religion is on the cards. From Revelation ch. 13:

        “7 And it was given unto him [the Beast] to make war with the saints, and to overcome them: and power was given him over all kindreds, and tongues, and nations.

        8 And all that dwell upon the earth shall worship him, whose names are not written in the book of life of the Lamb slain from the foundation of the world.”

        So it will be global, like the government being set up, and founded on Luciferianism, as expounded by Albert Pike. I don’t know what will herald it in. probably a false ‘christ’ figure and the building of the third temple.

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        • I don’t think it will be Islam even though that derives from a moon worship sect.. The way it is working out, I think a new one-world religion will be technology based and will be the one that wipes out Islam. I think Islam is being set up as the target for the new religion to defeat. It’s a perfect target becauee it thinks it cannot be defeated.

          Even as a non-Christian, I can see it coming. World domination requires absolute subservience and that will require people to believe that subservience is good and normal. Belief requires a form of religion. They cannot use Islam, too much rebellion. It has to be something new. Something that appears benign and safe.

          Perhaps something we haven’t seen yet.

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          • They’ve set up Islam as the primary global threat through terrorism and the so-called clerics demanding “death to the West” and “death to democracy” (they haven’t noticed that the politicians have already done the latter; in fact, both).

            Whatever the ‘NWO’ (for want of a better description) have in mind will be so convincing that even most of the Muslims will convert. I’m sure that’s why they’ve allowed so many to move to the West.

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  4. We probably won’t kill the planet, but it might well kill us. We are like a planetary virus that destroys whatever it touches. Maybe Ebola is a planetary antibody? Just a thought…

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    • I have toyed with the idea of the planet producing antibodies to rid itself of humans as a story idea. However, the Greens would take it as support of their views and that would never do.

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  5. “To the planet, we are but a henna tattoo.”

    Indeed, there are about 125 million pounds of Earth for every pound of human flesh.

    There are about 7 billion humans compared to:
    1. 200 billion birds
    2. 250 trillion termites
    3.100 trillion bacteria per human body.
    4. Total bacteria bio mass is several times that of human bio mass.
    5. There are over a billion bacteria in a spoonfull of soil.
    6. Without bacteria, much of life on Earth could not exist.

    There are about 10 grams of bacteria on each of us and about 154 million pounds of bacteria on the total of humanity.

    Then there are the viruses!
    Want a scary story.
    How about:
    The Rise of the Teenage Ninja Mutant Viruses

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    • I did the ‘virus attack by terrorists’ story years ago.

      If you compress bacteria you can get them to about 10^15 per gram. Ten grams of bacteria would be around 10^16 (10,000,000,000,000,000) per person. Sounds about right.

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    • Aerosol, yes, but aerosols don’t get far. Airborne viruses get a lot further.

      The good thing about any infection that needs to be carried in a water droplet is that it is easily caught by a paper filter. A true airborne virus would fly through a paper filter without touching the sides.

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    • I have strung together a scenario for widespread aeroslized transmission that is credible enough I won’t post it. The lack of serious focus on real threats by the golfer in chief is going to rank down there with the violin playing Roman emperor.

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