Katabasis passed me this one on Twitter.
In an interview, Farcebok Man explained his eternally grey shirt by saying, essentially, that he could not be bothered deciding what to wear so had a lot of grey shirts. Put one on and go to work.
I’d have answered differently. ‘You know how some people have underwear that’s green with ‘Monday’ written on it? Well mine is brown with ‘February’ written on it – and this is a white shirt. I’ve had it for three months, soon be time to scrape it off and get another one. Next year I might buy new socks’.
He didn’t though, he just said he couldn’t be bothered with ‘frivolous’ things like what you wear when you’re at work. He did not mention women. There was no ‘tits oot fae the lads’ logo on his shirt. There was no logo at all. Nothing to offend anyone.
And yet there is Outrage! at the fantasy-implied attack on all women who aren’t in dungarees and driving trucks on ice roads while chewing tobacco with rotted teeth, spitting it in the eyes of polar bears and combing their hair with a seal’s ribcage.
He wore the most inoffensive shirt possible. It wasn’t even black or white. It was grey. With nothing on it at all, not even washing instructions.
Ah, but it was A Shirt and now that the Shirt is All, shirts must be banned. Fat pale blokes with boobs bigger than Barbara Windsor’s will have ‘This is what a feminist looks like’ tattooed across their mountainous abdomens by Taiwanese tattooists pid 60p an hour. They will use three-inch nails, a stout hammer and a bottle of Parker’s Ink.
This simply proves that the whole Shirtstorm was fabricated. It was pretend offence. They can take just as much offence at a plain grey T-shirt.
These people are idiots.