(Note, Bob Gelding is in this one so there will be lots of swearing otherwise he won’t understand it. It’s in his native language, fuckanese)
Malcolm McDowell has been in some great films. ‘A Clockwork Orange’ might be his best known especially as it seems to be coming true but a firm favourite of mine is ‘O Lucky Man’. Not least because the soundtrack is by Alan Price.
Also because it is a tale of a touring coffee seller. Yes, that is really its basic premise. However, on his way he meets absurdities Salvador Dali couldn’t have imagined. If you haven’t seen it (shame on you!) there is a nice 10-minute summary on YouTube. It really doesn’t give the story, just a few key clips. You’d have to watch it all to put them together.
Songs like ‘Sell sell sell’, ‘Poor people’ and ‘Justice‘ really hit home in the modern world.
Songs like ‘Do they know it’s Christmas yet again even though we’ve told the dull fuckers three times before fer fucksake give us yer fucking money and then fuck off’ by a one-time songsinger who used to be fairly good, on the other hand, just twang a violently twisted nerve.
Applying this song to a largely Muslim part of the world to whom Christmas is as relevant as Saturnalia is to Christianity is beyond silly and borderline (in modspeak) offensive. While council twats all over the UK deny Christmas in case it offends the Muslims who don’t care about it, here is Hairy Bob singing ‘Do they know it’s Christmas?’ Well of course not, you small-dicked shrew. Your Leftie pals are denying its existence. Duh!
Oh, and Bob, no you can’t fix it. The cure for Ebola is not money. And buy a fucking comb, you scruffy waster. I can afford to have two and I’m a fucking part-time janitor, you fucking fucker, for fuck’s sake. Give me your fucking money. How’s about that for a new approach, eh, Bob? I doubt you like that idea very much, somehow.
Do you think Bob was brought up on Derek and Clive? I am increasingly thinking so. Then again, I was brought up on fucking Derek and fucking Clive and I don’t fucking swear anything like that fucking scruffy fucker.
Maybe it’s the combed hair. Brings order into your brain. Bob ‘exploding head’ Gelding might want to try that. Then again, combing his hair will probably need a three week risk assessment and a barber in a HAZMAT suit. And Rentokil on standby in case something crawls out.
There has been criticism of Bob’s rehash of a song for poverty into exactly the same song for an incurable disease. What next. Bob? ‘Doesn’t the impending asteroid strike know it’s only five months to Christmas, the rocky racist fucker? Oh wait, it’s landing on white people so it can’t be racist after all’.
Bob, you know, if you ever had a wash you might find out you’re white too. You honky racist fucker.
Bob says criticisms of his Righteous warblings of the same shite over and over again are ‘bollocks’
Interesting that he uses the coarse word for a gland involved in the generation of new life as a support of his raising of a long dead song.
But then he is Fucking Bob. Not Fucking Craig but Fucking Bob.
Bob Christ. The one even the alternative Kafka version of the Bible keeps quiet about.
Look, Bob, if you want our attention then write a new song. It’s supposed to be what you do for a living, you idle fucker. Try a more upbeat tune too. Something not so bloody miserable. Something with a bit of hope for the future sewn in.
‘Hey mister tally man, tally me Ebola‘
‘Fast shits come and me cannot go home’
Best not touch this.
Stop! Shittytime. (he has the trousers to cope with it)
Or how about some 1977 Motown?
Well it’s a Shit House
One more. A really killer one. How did all those music experts miss this?
So many music options and the Expert in the Field just does what he did last time and the time before. How utterly pointless.
All the criticisms of Bob the Blunder are most definitley justified but none of it matters anyway. Sending money to ebola victims is pointless and, at the base, very cruel.
Imagine you have a week of extraordinarily shitty life left to live and a hairy idiot gives you a million dollars.
Wouldn’t you want to spend that last week poking every single dollar up his arse, one by one, and lighting rthem?
You want our money, Bob? Do what everyone else who needs money has to do.
Do some fucking work, you useless scruffy idle fucker.