Our Gubblement are determined to take us back to the prudery and cruelty of Victorian times. They have banned all kinds of things that make porn into porn. Soon we will gasp at an accidentally exposed shoulder-blade and have palpitations at the sight of a tiny thread of midriff.
Meanwhile, in schools, graphic sex films including anal sex are the norm, and quite possibly an instructional video on how much duct tape to wrap around hamsters so they don’t split when you fuck them.
For adults, any object penetrating a woman is now taboo. Including a penis. Also including any lesbian toys. Women are not allowed to enjoy sex at all, they are to lie back and think of England, shopping lists and well ironed socks.
For children, anything penetrating anywhere is fine. Until they are 18 because then they are adults and have to have it all forcibly extracted from their brains with hot pliers.
Does anyone else see the makings of dysfunctional, confused and easily manipulated adults here?
Personally I am not into the kinky stuff at all. Years ago I was told about ‘fisting’, didn’t believe it and foolishly looked it up on the internet. Even more foolishly I clicked on ‘image search’ and… well, what has been seen can never be unseen and those images will be visible to anyone who gets my eyes as a transplant. They are permanently seared onto my retinas.
I cannot see any appeal in being tied up and beaten and I must admit I’d be very uncomfortable doing that to someone else even if they begged me to.
Old joke interlude – What did the masochist say to the sadist? “Hit me.”
What did the sadist say to the masochist? “No.”
I see nothing to attract me in all-over rubberwear with chains, it looks like someone trying to build a suspension bridge out of clown balloons. I have not read Fifty Shades of Grey and am not likely to. I am pretty much a straightforward ‘hide the sausage’ guy. Different positions, fine, but no chains or whips or hitting or biting or nails driven in with hammers.
Some people like that stuff. Some really really like it. The most haunting part of that fisting image was the girl who had a hand shoved up her further than the average cow-vet can manage… and she was smiling!. I’ve just had a camera about the thickness of a biro shoved up my equivalent bits and even with the anaesthetic, I wasn’t smiling. I don’t think I smiled for days afterwards. In fact I flinched every time someone picked up a pen. When the anaesthetic wore off the underdog became the hangdog..
Okay, I know, the women’s bits have to stretch to get a baby out but if it’s already been stretched that far by repeated applications of bovine veterinary examinations, a baby could drop out and hit the floor while they are in a supermarket queue. If the baby is lucky, the umbilical cord won’t be too long and they’ll bungee back in before Mum notices. Imagine a foetus bracing its legs against the uterus wall every time Mum stands up…
None of it should be banned. I don’t want it but then I don’t want horse-riding or mountain climbing or bicycles or Ugg boots or a Range Rover. Other people want those things and they are welcome to them. As are those who like being slapped with a chocolate stoat or a salt-preserved coelacanth or who like to have a mustard-lubricated narwhal horn up the jacksi. Adults, consenting, in private, can do whatever they please as far as I am concerned. I don’t want to see it and I certainly don’t want to join in but hey, if you like that stuff, knock yourself out. Or up, as you prefer.
I see no problem with making porn films including these things. I am not going to watch them so they will never trouble me.
Children? If children are looking up this kind of stuff then they will be as revolted as I was, as a child, at some tatty porn mag involving two girls and a donkey. Come to think of it (fnarr) it really wasn’t all that different from fisting…
This ban has nothing to do with protecting anyone. Truth be told, neither have any of the others. Ever. It’s all about control. Always has been and always will be.
You will live as the Puritans direct and there is onyl one way to escape.
Stop voting for them.