So money is behind it after all…

Well, another day of work. Seven in a row, all long shifts, more tomorrow. At least there are no early starts. I can work very late but I really hate early. I hope Stimpy is back Monday but that’s not guaranteed. He was left quite shaken by the Thing he had to do so his return date is uncertain. Big strong lad, but not too well blessed with mental fortitude. Can’t say more publically because of a reason.

Today, someone stopped me as I was crooning the opening lines of ‘Cheeldren roasting on an open fire, screams die down as flames get high’ and trying to corrupt the whole song.

“In your mind, you never got past Halloween, did you?” she said.

I gave her my very best evil grin and replied. “In my mind it’s always Halloween.” I think I might give her a little book for Christmas.

Speaking (well, writing, I’m past the stage of saying it out loud as I write) of books, I have to hurry up Panoptica. I owe copies to people who have sent me things. Stimpy’s return would help a lot. I normally do 24-25 hours a week, this week it’s over 40. Can’t be helped, it’s not his fault.

Okay. Hopefully I have the digression out of the way right at the start this time. Now for the money part.

It has long baffled me why the food industry is so keen to adopt the tobacco template. They must surely recognise it for what it is? Tobacco then booze and now food. By now the process is obvious to all but the dimmest of drones and those who build up huge businesses cannot be all that dim (Duncan Bannatyne is the exception that proves the rule).

There is a reason. It came to me as a result of something Lysistrata Eleftheria said.

Take out the preserveatives and the food won’t last as long. Reduce the salt and sugar (the only preservatives still allowed) and food won’t last as long. Why would food companies fall over themselves to adopt such nonsense?

Lately there have been more and more bumper-size packs of foods at bargain prices. Why? Because they all say ‘refrigerate after opening and consume within three days’. Nobody can eat a half-kilo of mayonnaise within three days without growing uncommonly fat – and then the fatbusters get you.

So it’s cheap but it lasts for such a short time that you soon have to buy another one. After you’ve thrown away most of the one you bought three days ago. It’s the rapid volume throughput that makes it so cheap.

Economically, it’s brilliant. You sell food that is mostly thrown out and then you sell more that is mostly thrown out and so on and so on… meanwhile your wasted food goes into a composting plant and you can sell it again later. To the same people who threw it away. So they can have a Pointlessettia on their Christmas table.

OIf course, ecologically, it’s an absolute disaster. But you don’t hear Greenpeas and their ilk talking about it.

There will be more salt reductions and more sugar reductions and the food industry will lap it all up.

What the idiot managers don’t see coming is the flood of lawsuits when their customers get botulism from their barely-salted preparations.

Unintended consequences. You gotta love ’em.



6 thoughts on “So money is behind it after all…

  1. The thought had run briefly through my mind. You want rid of people? Then produce food which almost always goes bad very quickly. People get ill or they have to spend a lot more money on food. Downward spiral.

    Remember your Welsh Grannies Leggy? They bought fresh food every two to three days from van man. They stored the fesh food in a cupboard on a special marble shelf which was pretty cold. They didn’t buy much in the way of cardboard box food apart from porridge and the like.

    There were downsides such as being unable to spread butter or margarine on toast which was toasted at the open coal fire. Bluebell margarine took a lot of spreading to get a reasonable coverage but created more holes and tears in the toast than was strictly necessary.

    Slight aside. We were out food shopping yesterday and noticed a queue had formed at an empty shop unit. We went for a look. It was called Bargain Base. Inside there were pallet sized four feet high cardboard boxes filled with all the special deals that Lidl had over the past few months. Like horse blankets, diving gloves, tools that need a compressor rather than just a plug etc. etc. it was absolutely full of people just like the Next sale with trolleys piled high. Scared!!!!! Just when you think you’ve found the bottom they make another one.


    • Better yet – train them into thinking food lasts for ages then take the preservatives out.

      Before preservatives, and fridges in every home, we used to smell it and look at it and taste a bit. Nobody bothers any more. It came from the shop, it must be safe, the law says it has to be.

      It is indeed safe at the point of sale (accidents and adulterations excepted) but it won’t stay safe forever. One of my previous bosses once had to give envidence in a court case. A woman was sueing a butcher over some mince which was rotten. Turned out she had left it in the boot of her car all day (a hot day) so naturally, the bugs grew like wildfire. The mince was fine when purchased.

      The case also failed because the Government lab she had sent it to for testing reported 10^15 bacteria per gram. As my boss told the court, at that concentration it’s all bacteria with no room for any mince. That lab probably does tobacco control work now.

      Yes, my grannies went to the shops every few days and only bought what they needed. The first time I think I saw a shopping trolley was when Carrefour opened. Before that it was a shopping bag – and it wasn’t plastic!

      I remember seeing those compressor tools in Lidl and wondered what they planned to do with them – since they’d sold out of compressors!


  2. I remember hearing years ago that Colmans’ fortunes were made, not from the mustard you ate, but from the mustard you left at the side of the plate. Now if they could put less sugar, salt and fat in mustard they’d have achieved some kind of bansturbator perfection.


  3. Marketing executives were once asked, “How can our company sell more toothpaste?” After much discussion around dental hygiene, whiter smile etc, a bright spark suggested making the hole bigger.

    Liked by 1 person

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