I should point out at the outset – I’m afraid I am very, very drunk. I will try to correct most typos but some might slip through. Frankly I am way past giving a shit. Tomorrow is my first day off after 12 days of work so… yah, bollocks.
Twelve continuous days of work and tomorrow and Friday are my weekend. So I have decided to have a night off the whisky.
Instead I have Delaney’s Irish Whiskey because the Co-op have had it on offer all week and I caved in. Not bad, it’s not as ‘bourbon-y’ as many Irish whiskies (whiskeys? Oh, I don’t care). Very smooth and very, perhaps too, easy to drink.
Several Emails and a few Twitterers have pointed to a Daily Weasel article on Electrofag.
Finally there is mainstream acceptance of this little gadget. Rancid Glans will be Outraged but then he always is because he likes it. I pay no attention to people who hate me by default without ever bothering to meet me. They are worth no more than septic pimples on an anaecephalic’s brainstem. Not worth my time unless they are stupid enough to believe the shite I make up to scare them to death.
A current favourite is – do you have second-hand smoke cancer? Tilt your head up and run your fingers along the base of your jawbone. If there are lumps at the end you are doomed. Doctors will fob you off because you don’t smoke so can’t have lethal jaw cancer but you do. Keep at them or you’ll be dead in a month. Next you’ll find a lump in the middle of your chest where the ribs meet… you have two weeks.
Drones are fun. I’m glad the antismokers made them so gullible. I haven’t had so many laughs since school, when I persuaded an idiot that Gorgonzola cheese was made of horse smegma. Okay, that’s not difficult but I was young and just starting.
So it is now MSM-true as well as reality-true that Electrofags are less of a risk than real fags. Well that was pretty much a given from the outset because Electrofags have pretty much fuck all in them. Steam, flavour and nicotine. The rest is the same chemicals as asthma inhalers. They don’t all even have nicotine.
Electrofags can not be a gateway to real smoking. It is not possible. It might once have been possible. I grew up in a home where coal fires were normal. Smoke was part of life. Now you all have radiators and many of you don’t even have chimneys. You don’t know what smoke feels like.
Those kids on Electrofags will never switch to real leaf. The ‘cool’ factor is being seen puffing smoke or steam. To them it does not matter which. It’s the action that is cool. You can blow steam-rings with Electrofags, I’ve done it. They are great gadgets. Real smoking is an entirely different experience. New-kid-vapers will not like it. Really, they won’t. You have to be hard to really smoke and the last generation is not.
I am a smoker. I like to smoke leaf. I especially like to smoke pure leaf with no additives which is why I grow it myself. I. Like. Smoke. I don’t care if you don’t like it. Don’t do it, fine with me.
I also like Electrofag. Using a Titan I have smoked roast chicken and it really does taste like roast chicken. I have smoked absinthe and brandy and coffee and French Pipe and all sorts of things. They were experiences I never dreamed would ever be possible. Aside from the one point that ‘tobacco flavour’ is crap, the rest of it is a great invention.
Ah, but Rancid Glans and all the Gubblements hate Electrofag almost as much as they hate smokers. Why? Well, they get a lot of money from the hated smokers and if we all switch to Electrofag (now even on sale in Poundland) they’ll have less to fund ASH and all their other Puritan crap.
It is not about health. Surely that is clear to even the dimmest drone now? (it’s not)
It is about control.
It always was.