Just a quick one as I’m between long shifts again.

in Local Shop there is a sign beside the Christmas crackers stating that under the Explosives Act, Christmas crackers cannot be sold to under-16s.

When I was under 16 I could buy all the components of a bomb and made a few. Blew up nobody.  Many Airfix kits met a grisly end though. Now they can’t even buy a cracker?

It has been changed by a Gubblement dedicated to removing rubbish from our lives to…. under 12.

You are not going to blow up anyone or anything with the bang of a Christmas cracker. Ever. If you have the knowledge, skills and equipment to make a real bomb out of about a million cracker parts then you can make a much more effective one cheaper from scratch. Without the bad jokes and cheap plastic tat. Although you can add those in if you like.

They are crackers. They go bang. They are not explosives and do not need to be age-limited at all.

I used to buy fireworks (only available around November 5th back then) with no age restriction. I could buy as many matches as I wanted. Nobody was scared.

Now kids can’t even buy Christmas crackers. I despair.

No wonder they grow up scared of fire.

And smoke.

6 thoughts on “Crackers

  1. Having them grow up scared of life seems to be the goal. The “precautionary principle” is rammed down their throats from every direction of influence. Parents, teachers, policemen, politicians, media, health workers etc
    Risk takers will be diagnosed as mentally ill and need lifetime pharmas and mandatory government re-education soon.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Risk takers are already seen as odd. You should have heard the nurse’s tone last time I phoned the surgery to say I’d damaged myself to the point of peeing blood… four days earlier. I only bothered them because the pain wasn’t getting better and it would soon be time to go to work. She thought she was talking to a child.

      She discovered otherwise.


  2. Myself and some friends would pool our cash and buy as many bangers as possible. Then dismantle them and make one enormous firework. Our best involved a kitchen roll tube and about 300 bangers. Fuck me that was a blast. That was the care free 1970s when all we had to worry about was nuclear destruction. These days with no credible threat on the horizon, everyone is setting the bed over Muslims or big cars or Ebola. Pitiful really.

    We’d all be in chokey if we did that these days.


  3. Black powder. I use between a kilo and a kilo and a half per year with the cannon and muskets. For that I need a §27 explosives certificate which costs around €1,000 initialy, with the mandatory course in explosives handling, and around €500 every two to three years after that.

    YET(!) at this time of year you get wee bastards wandering around with sea sacks FULL of fireworks containing more NITRO(!!) powder than I could use in a bloody life time of firing the cannon.

    What certificate/training course do THEY need?


    I hope they fucking blow their own fucking heads of, CUNTS!


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